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Thread: What Shall I Do Now?

  1. #1
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    What Shall I Do Now?

    So I met this girl on the train on the way back from a football(soccer) away game in Nottingham in early March.

    Me and my mate where drunk and had a good laugh with a few people on the train. Especially this one girl.

    We added each on Facebook and chatted each day.

    Me and my mate went to another football away match last Saturday and we agreed to meet her and friends in the pub before the match and a good laugh.

    She the game, we went to the pub until our train was due. We got our train home and sat next to each other. She kept resting my head on my shoulder and holding my hand and put her p number into my phone.

    She asked me if I liked her and I panicked and said no, she's too young(She's 20 and I'm 31).

    But I do have a crush on her. Although the age gap does worry me.

    She stopped texting me all last week.

    We got chatting again yesterday and this morning I asked her out for a drink.

    She messaged me and said maybe.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    She's thinking you friend zoned her. Look dude what would you have thought if she said that to you? Ya that's right friend zoned. She's not going to waste her time....maybe means NO. And man, women like to be desired, but to get the brushed off like that is a total turn off. Now if you go chasing her she's going to think you just want to smash and that's it. She's face palming you with that maybe. If you want to make this work, you have to be dead honest with her. So stop goofing around and man up to her.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Well, it was immature of her to as you if you liked her. Certainly you "like" her if you asked her to join you at the pub.

    She said "maybe" in my opinion because she is just too young to tell you "no" and so now she's baiting your hook to see if you bite. She's 20 but even in her young age and immaturity, you're not much better in that department by saying "no" because you "panic" instead of just telling her you like her enough to ask her out but its too early to "like" you more then that right now."

    Keep the conversation going if you think she's worth it. If she doesn't respond enthusiastically then stop the contact and learn from this for next time you meet an attractive woman that is giving you the time of day.

  4. #4
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    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    Well, it was immature of her to as you if you liked her. Certainly you "like" her if you asked her to join you at the pub.

    She said "maybe" in my opinion because she is just too young to tell you "no" and so now she's baiting your hook to see if you bite. She's 20 but even in her young age and immaturity, you're not much better in that department by saying "no" because you "panic" instead of just telling her you like her enough to ask her out but its too early to "like" you more then that right now."

    Keep the conversation going if you think she's worth it. If she doesn't respond enthusiastically then stop the contact and learn from this for next time you meet an attractive woman that is giving you the time of day.

    If I'd of been sober I'd of dealt with differently.

    She has hinted in previous messages. She has been hurt in the past.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by TheCasual
    If I'd of been sober I'd of dealt with differently.

    She has hinted in previous messages. She has been hurt in the past.
    Then if she's not come to terms with that "hurt" then maybe she's not the best candidate to be pursuing in the first place? Maybe you ought to just let it fade. See if she contacts you. (??)

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    If the age gap bothers you, then don't do something you're uncomfortable with. I know when I did OLD, I had rules about age limits which I tweaked a bit as I learned more things about myself and my wants. It's good to set rules, and to also be flexible if they need a bit of changing when you learn things from your experiences.

    Right now, you're being wishy washy and sending mixed messages--a person one should avoid.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Could the age difference be an issue? Absolutely. Age gap relationships of 5 years or more have a very low percentage in working out. The greater the age difference the smaller chance of it working out for long term.

    That being said, it's up to you whether you want to chance it or not. Are you hoping for long term or are you hoping for a fling?
    A fling might be something that would work, but long term, it is really dicey.

    At the end of the day, it's up to you whether you want to take the chance or not. But keep in mind that you are in different stages in your life and the older you get the more apparent this will become.

  9. #8
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    I want to date her and she hows it goes.

    I don't think the age gap is as big problem with her as it might be with other girls.

    She's not really interested in partying or night clubs. She's quite tom boy and more interested in going football/soccer. Especially away trips.

  10. #9
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by smackie9
    She's thinking you friend zoned her. Look dude what would you have thought if she said that to you? Ya that's right friend zoned. She's not going to waste her time....maybe means NO. And man, women like to be desired, but to get the brushed off like that is a total turn off. Now if you go chasing her she's going to think you just want to smash and that's it. She's face palming you with that maybe. If you want to make this work, you have to be dead honest with her. So stop goofing around and man up to her.
    - I agree.

  11. #10
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    I sent a drunk on Monday night and she hasn't responded.

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