Me [25 M] her [22 F] lost interest

Ever be in a relationship that you dont even know if it's a relationship? Lol

As you're reading this, keep in mind that she initiated everything, so leave out all the "seemingly clingy or needy" stuff because if anything, that was her

Anyways met this girl online about 1 month ago, started talking for a few days, gave me her number (without me asking) and asked me out that weekend (without me asking). After the first date, she started getting all emotional already like saying "you make my heary melt" and calling me baby and all that crap right after. So I'm like okay, ill just play along i guess.

She asked me out literally every night, we went out probably 14 days out of 16 days or something and the 2 days we didnt is just because work. We just loved spending time together and every day she would tell me to come do something with her.

2 weeks into knowing her, she asked me to come over to meet her parents, brother etc. Again im like wow, this seems fast as hell but okay whatever. So we did that.

Brought me infront of all of her friends multiple times. They started to know we were together and everything was moving honestly TOO perfectly, that the whole time im like oh god how's this going to end up.

We had sex on week 2 as well at my house, so again leave that one out if we banged or not

After week 2, she asked me to be her boyfriend...i didnt ask, she asked. Again, i thought that was super quick... But i was fine

Texted me every day "omg you're the greatest. How could i ever be so lucky to have you. You're everything that i ever wanted. Omg you're so handsome, i love spending time with you so much." Etc etc

Now going into week 3 things started getting a little shakey. She wasnt having the same attitude towards me, flirty text messages, making out with me all the time, holding hands, and all that other stuff. Everything sort of just STOPPED out of no where. So i asked her if everything is okay with us and she's happy, she insisted nothing is wrong at all with me and shes happy with me, she just has a ton of problems. She opened up about all of her anxiety/depression/ how badly she was abused by her ex and where her problems come from.

She said "i dont know if i can handle a relationship right now. i want to take a step back and get some space so i can focus on myself for a little bit"

She said "no I'm not leaving you, im not talking to anybody else, and it has nothing to do with you at all. I want to continue with you just need some time to myself"

So im like okay ill just move past this "distant" feeling im getting from her. She continued inviting me out, we continued going out and just not all the flirty stuff like usual.

So this past week, we had tickets to go to a baseball game. She's been feeling sick most of the week so i knew that, and on the day of the game she said she was too sick to go, yet i knew she was still going to the gym to work out and doing other things. So i said okay fine we'll cancel. I find out from her friend that she's out with them.

So i confront her about it, was unhappy with the way she lied to me and how i feel like she's been lieing the past week or 2 when she got distant feeling. She got all defensive, said how she lost interest in me and didnt have to do anything with me. I asked her why she couldn't just tell me that before when i asked her if anything was wrong or wrong with me, but she just said now that she lost interest and shut off. Because i called her out on that, and it basically just got into an argument on the phone and that was it, over.

So after someone is like head over heels about you for 2-3 weeks, it just ends. Now a couple days later we talked again, apologized and said we're sorry for the way we both acted. I asked her what was going on and what the real reason was why she lost interest in me after everything was going great. She said "i have no idea. It just shut off suddenly and i lost interest. Ive never had that happen before."

"It has nothing to do with you or that there's anything wrong with you that i didnt like, it just happened and im sorry. I went about it the wrong way and shouldve just told you, but i thought if i kept going out with you, id fall back into you, but it wasnt happening. "

"I had you meet my family, brought you around my friends, i had such genuine interest in you at first. So dont think like i was playing you like you keep telling me"

tl;dr

Is there any truth in this? What could have went wrong that she just "lost interest" and has no reason for it? Did she actually just find out she didnt want a relationship and knew i was and lost interest because she doesnt want a relationship in general, so instead of crushing me, let me find out myself?

When i lose interest i go "our lives just arent at all the same, it wont work" "they really arent that attractive to me" "they're too serious and no personality" "they dont like to do anything i like to" its like it has to be SOMETHING and SOME REASON why. You dont just do all of this for weeks, tell someone how crazy you are about them, want a relationship, then just say you're not interested and have no idea why.

This thread is a repeat of this one: https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=558706

Bray, what advice are seeking now that was not provided in your previous thread?

I understand the need to want to talk about it, what you're feeling and experiencing,; there is a journal section on this forum for this purpose..

You can post, express feelings, frustration, vent, scream, all you want .

No one judges, no one advises unless asked..

It's mostly for you, writing down thoughts and feelings can be very cathartic.

I keep my own private journal at home, it really helps!

Bray, what advice are seeking now that was not provided in your previous thread?

 

I understand the need to want to talk about it, what you're feeling and experiencing,; there is a journal section on this forum for this purpose..

 

You can post, express feelings, frustration, vent, scream, all you want .

 

No one judges, no one advises unless asked..

 

It's mostly for you, writing down thoughts and feelings can be very cathartic.

 

I keep my own private journal at home, it really helps!

I am talking to a lot of close people about it. My old thread was in the middle of the relationship, now it's over. And in the last 1 or 2 paragraphs i ask what you think happened, she says it wasnt me but do you think theres something i did or could've done to keep her interest or did i really not have anything to do with it

Did you read my post on your previous thread about women who have been in long term abusive relationships? Like you said she was in for three years, ended last Sept or Oct?

They need a very long time to heal, years sometimes, before allowing themselves to become attracted to and maintain a healthy relationship with a loving, caring, consistent man who does not provide those dramatic highs and lows which can be so addicting.

No you did not do anything wrong; try as she did for awhile, she's just not ready for you yet, and the type of relationship you're offering her -- stable, drama free and healthy.

She needs to introspect, self-reflect and resolve her own ambivalent feelings before she's anywhere close to accepting a healthy man into her life, for the long term.

Therapy might help too.

Try to not be her white knight. Too easy for her to take advantage, leaving you in the friendzone.

I'm sorry you're hurting, but no there was nothing you could have done, or can do.

This is her issue to resolve and hers alone.

A full fledged relationship with love in two weeks? - it's not possible. You saw the signs that she was moving too fast and crazy, but you ignored it.

She opened up about all of her anxiety/depression/ how badly she was abused by her ex and where her problems come from.

- She's a few fries short of a Happy Meal.

Next time, if your gut tells you something is wrong, run.

🖖🍟🍔🤡🍦🥤🤘👶👽👾🤖😹🤙

- She's a few fries short of a Happy Meal.

I am talking to a lot of close people about it. My old thread was in the middle of the relationship, now it's over. And in the last 1 or 2 paragraphs i ask what you think happened, she says it wasnt me but do you think theres something i did or could've done to keep her interest or did i really not have anything to do with it

She's a wack job. Its not you, it's her. The only thing you should realize for the future so you don't end up hurt like this again is to quickly distance yourself from chicks that have her kinds of issue and aren't getting professional treatment to help her process things.