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I will kill her and then kill myself, I can't take this any longer


Polter

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I cannot take it anymore with this narcissistic b1tch . Four years now and I cannot escape the abusive relationship . I have blocked her from everywhere but she manages to find me in person and seduce me back in the fking relationship . I cannot tell anyone because people would laugh at me . Everyone thinks I’m a sane person but I’m not . I’m one step away from killing her and myself afterwards. I cannot escape this relationship . And she makes me feel like a worthless worm each time she drags me in . We start fine then she humiliated me by screwing around random guys . I haven’t beat her, but surely one of her exes did . No one can suffer this emotional pain without snapping . Nobody understands until they experience it . She’s so ing ed in the head . She makes me feel like I’m the stain of the earth . She then proceeds to act in a loving way only to destroy me in the follwing days . There’s no other way to escape this unless I kill her or change country . Please I need your help and advice . I don’t know what to do . Please......

 

I do not know how to remove her from my life. I’ve need trying to get away from her for over a year without success. I closed all my social media accounts a got a new number(which she found out) and she still manages to find me in person. I am using all my will power to not resort to violence. She has trapped my emotions since we started going out and doesn’t let me move on. Each time I try she threatens suicide or to accuse me of rape or expose about me in public to get her back. She cries and uses her friends to convince me back in. She is using other men to stir up jealousy and insecurity in me to keep me emotionally engaged. She has used tears and feigned fainting to make give her multiple chances to reconcile. She always acts normal for a month or two and then she proceeds to do the most fked up including sleeping with other men in MY HOUSE along with forms of gaslighting and destroying my self esteem. I cannot escape this situation and cannot get help.

 

She has slept with other men in our house during the period I accepted her back in because I had no other choice. I believed her bullony and stopped the process of moving on. Next thing I know she’s starting to abuse . I have come multiple times on the edge of using violence . Her ex was beating her because she did the same things , he was accused of rape as well .

 

I cannot get help from anywhere . I cannot escape the situation . She knows things about me that will expose in public if I leave her . She will try to make a story of me hitting her and go to the cops , or even tell them about rape . This situation is so bad I have thought about killing her when I was on the emotional edge . The other option is to leave everything behind and leave the country . I don’t know how long I will be able to control myself and not harm her . I cannot escape this situation . Please tell me what to do , I need help...

 

P.S. She has been acquainted with everyone I know in most of my social circles. I cannot go out and having some good time with friends and not her appearing or learning everything. I cannot remove my emotions for her and move on because I cannot get her out of my life.

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If you want to kill someone for choosing to continue to be involved with them despite not being able to stand them, it's time to check yourself into a psychiatric hospital.

 

You do need urgent help, from trained professionals.

 

Or, you can remove yourself from her by calling the police on her if she doesn't leave you alone and get a restraining order, you can also sue for slander and she can be fined for making false allegations.

 

But you don't want to do that. You want to continue being with her, by choice, while saying you have no control over being seduced, and you want to justify violence by choosing to expose yourself to someone who drives you insane (short trip as it may be). That's unhinged and need law enforcement and pshychiatry to manage your problem. Get admitted to a ward before you're involuntarily locked up for life.

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If you want to kill someone for choosing to continue to be involved with them despite not being able to stand them, it's time to check yourself into a psychiatric hospital.

 

You do need urgent help, from trained professionals.

 

First of all I had left her and she came back months later threatening me with blackmail if I didn't take her back, second of all you cannot escape abuse that easy.the cycle of abuse tends to make both partners obsessed with each other. Obsession is caused by all situations where pain and pleasure are randomly doled out (just look at gambling).

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I know about abusive relationships, and abusive people like yourself and the girlfriend.

 

My point stands that if you cannot help yourself from succumbing to "seduction" and "blackmail" and involvement with someone you want to kill, and cannot help yourself going on a disturbing trip trying to justify why you should be violent with them rather than taking actual steps to disengage

 

 

Then you need law enforcement and psychiatry to handle your problem.

 

And the way you can be helped this very moment is by checking in at a psychiatric hospital and have them call law enforcement who can see to it that the two of you cannot cross paths without getting locked up.

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Listen OP, I cannot imagine what a hellish situation you are in but have you ever thought about a restraining order? Is there such a thing where you live? She has to get your whereabouts from someone and it's horrible that this person, or persons, is supplying her with that information. Perhaps your best bet is to move without telling anyone of your plans and where. It's not the ideal solution but if this fiasco has been going on for over a year you need to do something drastic, liking moving, like you said. Do you have any family members that you could confide in?

 

I am puzzled though as to why you you allowed yourself to let her drag you in. Really??? Why on earth would you to that? You are in dire need of therapy. Don't let her win by doing something senseless like resorting to violence. That is an irrational solution. Think of the pain that you'd cause to your family and friends. PLEASE get some therapy asap. That's your Number 1 priority. No one should be subjected to this kind of abuse. And, as I said, give some serious thought to moving.

 

One more thing: don't let her threat of suicide get in your way. It's yet another of her manipulative ways to control you.

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It's posts like this that make me wish ena had an alert function that forwards the post to a crisis intervention centre so they can have an officer dispatched to OPs location.

 

Just go to a hospital now.

 

Yes, ENA, can some sort of emergency alert be set in place for people like this man?

 

OP go to police, get that restraining order, then go to the hospital psychiatric dept. You need serious help. She is not worth going to jail for!

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Yes, ENA, can some sort of emergency alert be set in place for people like this man?

 

OP go to police, get that restraining order, then go to the hospital psychiatric dept. You need serious help. She is not worth going to jail for!

 

melancholy, OP said he would kill her, then himself...

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It's posts like this that make me wish ena had an alert function that forwards the post to a crisis intervention centre so they can have an officer dispatched to OPs location.

 

Me too.

 

I am so sorry you're dealing with this, but your urgent concern is literally this minute. Please call the police, while you are reading these posts.

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Go the police and report it. She may accuse you of all sorts but police will listen to you as well, male mental health is taken more seriously now and they will help you get away from her!

As for yourself, are there any family members you can stay with, a place where she won't find you? Definitely get yourself some help, a crisis phone line might help right now but get some professoonal help. You don't deserve to go to prison over her.

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Oh that's baloney, I've had a stalker before, you can get away from them.

 

I had one come to my house......Uninvited, and she had never been to my house. She was running around the house, banging on all the doors and windows, yelling my name. I called 911 and a swat team showed up, with officers positioned all the way down the street!

 

You are not trying hard enough. Forget about your reputation, death, anything - don't let them intimidate you, and don't break no contact. You just have to cut contact and disappear, they go away eventually. Might take a few months......you might even get a message once a year for a couple years after that. Don't open it, don't read it. Also, dating another woman will help.

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OP, do YOU think that it isn't an urgent concern that this dysfunctional relationship has gotten you to the point you are justifying murder and suicide? Do you think the person it has made you isn't someone who is unhinged, unstable, and needs to forfeit their freedom to act on their violent affect to trained personnel who can separate them from the volatile partner and treat their distress?

 

If you are here looking for encouragement to be violent, you've come to the wrong place.

 

If you are looking to be guided away from this sh1tfest, take everyone's advice to heart, report her and get a restraining order and get hospitalized explaining that the dysfunctional relationship has made it impossible for you to disengage and refrain from violence, assault, murder and suicide.

 

You have made it clear you cannot control yourself so get people involved who can exercise efficient control over the situation and end it because you would clearly only see one way of ending it. When you're stable and she is locked up for violating the restraining order, you'll have the focus and reason to look for a job and place out of state. You're in no condition to make any decisions now except for the decision to have the police and mental health professionals handle the situation that's grown larger than you.

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I am so sorry you are in so much pain and feel so trapped. But, please know that you are not alone. Many people are here, listening and responding.

 

We beg of you to find hope that there are those that have never met you that care for your well-being.

 

Get help right now. Don't think. Just drive to the nearest ER and tell them how frightened you are. They will help you. There are good people in this world. Let them help you and this too will pass. Keep your focus on that. Keep saying it over and over.

 

Rise above her evil, don't create more pain and suffering by adding to to it. Rise above.

 

God Speed. Please continue to reach out. Don't suffer alone. There is good in this world.

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OP, do YOU think that it isn't an urgent concern that this dysfunctional relationship has gotten you to the point you are justifying murder and suicide? Do you think the person it has made you isn't someone who is unhinged, unstable, and needs to forfeit their freedom to act on their violent affect to trained personnel who can separate them from the volatile partner and treat their distress?

 

If you are here looking for encouragement to be violent, you've come to the wrong place.

 

If you are looking to be guided away from this sh1tfest, take everyone's advice to heart, report her and get a restraining order and get hospitalized explaining that the dysfunctional relationship has made it impossible for you to disengage and refrain from violence, assault, murder and suicide.

 

You have made it clear you cannot control yourself so get people involved who can exercise efficient control over the situation and end it because you would clearly only see one way of ending it. When you're stable and she is locked up for violating the restraining order, you'll have the focus and reason to look for a job and place out of state. You're in no condition to make any decisions now except for the decision to have the police and mental health professionals handle the situation that's grown larger than you.

 

Yes,I'm actively looking and following your advice. I have to take notes on what exactly to do. I'm a very rational person but she can stir up such volatile emotion in me that I lose contact and function only with emotions. I NEVER BELIEVED I WOULD BE IN THIS PLACE , BUT I AM. I have lost the ability to eat and sleep. I have lost motivation for life. I feel like a miserable worthless sh1t. I'm locked in the house , have changed the lock and don't let her in when she comes sniffing around. But I'm losing my sanity.....I'm currently working 9 to 5 and have to leave the house. Like I said she's aquainted WITH EVERYONE I KNOW and rooted in my life. I have to abandom all my friends to escape her. The thing is this will make me more isolated. She's probably narcissistic or borderline.

 

Sadly she knows exactly what my buttons are. I AM NOT ABLE TO THINK RATIONALLY when she makes me emotional. She is has done everything she can to make me dependant on her. Also she has information about me that will destroy my life is made public. She's ripping my life and soul appart. I have sank into depression(I was never depressed). I have considered suicide. I'm not gonna let her ruin my life and jump to the next victim(she has had numerous victims).

 

I will go to the police and try to get a restraining order. If they don't believe my I will go live to a friend of mines(she knows where my parents live). If she finds out and comes back I will kill her I SWEAR. I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS FKING PAIN ANYMORE.

 

She's very cunning and manipulative. I've falled many times for her tricks claming she WILL CHANGE only for her to engage in INSANE BEHAVIOR very quickly. She's very good at crying and acting like a victim.

 

What do I do if she finds where I live? What am I supposed to do? Pack my stuff and leave the country and my job head to nowhere?

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One last thing . What happens here is twofold. First when I push her away she goes insanity mode and tries to make up for everything she has done, literally the more I try to make her gone the more she wants to be with me obsessively. The other thing is that each time I pushed her away and she came back claiming that she will change , the moment I started acting in a caring and loving way , abuse began. Public humiliation,shaming,gaslighting,sleeping with other men IN FRONT OF ME, using jealousy to make me her emotional slave.

 

When I push her away she gets crazy, when I act loving she gets abusive. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH HER.

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It's posts like this that make me wish ena had an alert function that forwards the post to a crisis intervention centre so they can have an officer dispatched to OPs location.

 

Just go to a hospital now.

 

Can we alert a mod, and have them do it? Mods have IP address with location.

 

Not to sound overly dramatic but it may save a life, or two.

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No, for now, you call the police on her any time she tries to get in contact. Do you know how a restraining order works? She can't violate it without consequence. She will try to violate it, by finding your place, going to your parents or work. That's good for you, you call the police on her again and she's forcibly removed. She will publicly prove she's a psycho when she's done that too.

 

Do your parents know what she has put you through? Or has she manipulated them? If they know, and support you, it is vital that they also give a statement to the police and your therapist and psychiatrist, and immediately call the police on her if she contacts them in any way.

 

You are anonymous here, wouldn't you be comfortable telling us what the incriminating information she has is that you feel held hostage by? Because it is very likely that whatever it is has no power. There's nothing that legally gives her the right to harass you, and if there's something you can legally be held accountable for, owning it and "paying your due" is probably going to be much less dramatic than putting up with this madness.

 

You cannot allow yourself to become abusive, violent, unhinged. Even the worst affect can be managed if a person is willing to get help to prevent violence. Mental health professionals didn't fall of the turnip truck yesterday, they'll know how to help you manage affect and teach you to disengage from this toxic and dangerous cycle.

 

I think you have allowed her to convince you her manipulation is more efficient than it is. Trust me, people can see when someone is that rotten and playing victim. Many probably see her for who she is, but respond with placating "riiight. That's awful he would do that " and "oh my" because it's easier and more comfortable than telling a vile, intimidating person that they make your stomach turn (and have them stalk you after).

 

Don't be intimidated. Even if she does have people who believe her, you'll learn to live with the fact they think or talk badly about you. Not everyone is like that, and when you've had legal and medical help to restore your sense of worth, integrity and self control, it won't be so difficult to feel above her and her minions. You can always leave the town afterwards if you still feel like there's been too much drama.

 

Look at your posts and tell me they don't sound like they're written by a complete raging psycho. You cannot allow anyone ever to turn you into this. You are going to be above that and there can be no inner or outer debate about that.

 

Tell a psychiatrist what's happened and that you don't want to turn violent and need all the help you can get to stay away from her and regain stability. Tell the police how volatile it is and that you need them to keep her away from you and your family and that involvement with her has caused you to check in at a psychiatric ward. They will take it seriously, they have to.

 

Please keep reporting on here. People post her in violent situations, or planning to harass their exs, or preparing for suicide and then we're all holding our breath waiting for them to report they're safe. As long as you keep posting we can continue to drill until you get professionals involved and report on further developments, and we can continue to try countering your affect with insistence you take steps that do justice to who you really are as a person.

 

You've come this far, to ask for guidance and to take it into consideration, and swallow the bitter medicine of being told you've gone way off your rocker. Might as well go all the way and continue to take steps to put a healthy end to this insanity.

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Can we alert a mod, and have them do it? Mods have IP address with location.

 

Not to sound overly dramatic but it may save a life, or two.

 

I don't think so kat, there's been an instance years ago when someone asked kamurj if I remember correctly and it was not possible. I know it may be delicate in terms of privacy and such, and people shouldn't have to feel policed when they reach out on here- some aren't willing to get help physically yet but may be empowered to do so after taking to someone online. But there's cases when it seems urgent someone should be able to show up on their doorstep whether they want it or not and ask "hey, that sounded serious, are you sure you don't want us to do something about it". Often people don't go to the police or a hospital for fear they'll be further punished for the state they're in, but when someone shows up saying man we're worried about you the realization that they could be getting care and assistance rather than judgment and punishment can open a therapeutic window. I wish there was a way to send help. There's been posters over the years whom I still wonder about from time to time. For goodness sake at least come back to tell us everyone's alive y know?

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