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Thread: My Bipolar Boyfriend Broke Up With Me.

  1. #1

    My Bipolar Boyfriend Broke Up With Me.

    Hello all. Sorry this will all sound a bit gibberish but I'm not coping very well with everything.

    I've been speaking to my ex since December 2017 and we got together in Febuary 2018 which may have been a bit quick but it seemed right. A month later he had blocked me on all social media and we had a rough patch. He got back in touch a couple of weeks later and we started talking again but we agreed to just have hook ups with other people. We eventually got jealous and hit another rough patch. We started fixing it in April 2018 and officially got back together in the June. We had no blips then for 10 months, we didn't argue or fall out or have any reason really to worry about our relationship. He had bought me a holiday for in September and I didn't have any reason to doubt it would happen even with the Bipolar.

    Late March he admitted to me he would have to go back into recovery to help his mental health. He was living in Sheffield for Uni but he got home sick and also had come off his meds and was waiting for new ones which he went on going back into recovery. He asked at the time what it meant for us and he was worried If I'd get bored or horny and want to meet other people and I said no. I didn't see him until the following Sunday (mothers day) due to him settling in and when we met up everything felt normal. We laughed and cuddled and he messaged me going home saying how great it was to see me and we planned to meet the following weekend.

    However, the next day everything still seemed fine. He told me he had paid off our holiday and was so excited. We continued talking like normal but on the Friday morning he split with me saying he needed to focus on recovery and he wouldn't be ready for a relationship for a long while (last year he had told me we would never sort things out and did so you never know how true this is). He was instantly back on Grindr and as far as I'm aware it's just for hook ups but even then it seems so quick. We haven't really spoken since the split. He messages every few days but only a couple of times and leaves me on unread. He is following what I'm up to though whenever I put up a Snapchat story. I don't know if this is meaningless though or if there is a bigger picture.

    I'm just lost without him. I miss his presence. It's the not knowing if he's just lost his head and is having an episode and will want to try and fix things or if he's completely finished with this relationship and I'm not sure how to move on. I have him on such a pedastool.

    I'm sorry this is really long for strangers to read. I expect one response at most. But thanks for reading anybody who does.

  2. #2
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    When was he diagnosed as bipolar?

  3. #3
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    Originally Posted by HeartGoesOn
    When was he diagnosed as bipolar?
    Is it bipolar 1 or bipolar 2?

    There is a significant difference between the two.

    Bipolar 1 being more severe.

  4. #4
    I never really asked him that. I was always terrible with asking him the personal questions. He told me he had it very early on into us talking. As I'm aware he's been diagnosed since his early 20s.

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  6. #5
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    What do you get from all of this instability?

  7. #6
    I had a year of complete happiness and joyful memories. But I understand why people would wonder why I put up with this part. I guess I make excuses for his Bipolar if anything. I'm just confused right now due to how unpredictable his nature is. I am a stranger atm and I don't know if this is it for us or if in a few weeks he will come back all apologetic. I know I can't keep doing this though every year if there was a chance he wanted me back.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LucasMichael
    I had a year of complete happiness and joyful memories. But I understand why people would wonder why I put up with this part. I guess I make excuses for his Bipolar if anything. I'm just confused right now due to how unpredictable his nature is. I am a stranger atm and I don't know if this is it for us or if in a few weeks he will come back all apologetic. I know I can't keep doing this though every year if there was a chance he wanted me back.
    You are making excuses in the sense that you get to hide behind his diagnosis and ignore the fact that somethings off with the relationship.

    It actually seems quite unfair to blame it on his illness, you two just seem to have drama together. Youíre not a good fit.

    Even though heís saying he needs to focus on his mental health you seem to think he will Ďsnap out of ití thatís dehumanizing to me, but I donít suffer from the illness so I wonít speak for him, but I will say relationships can be huge triggers for many people mental illness or not, it triggers people with low self esteem, abandonment issues, boundary issues, and many other things, which one do you think you may fall in? Cause again you blaming your reaction to all this on his illness is well a bit of a copout to me, try to dig deeper. You may be surprised what you find. At the end of he day , I think itís best to respect his wishes, if after some time he comes back so be it but during that time you should work on whatís broken within you . Because you have been getting something or if this dysfunction. No question

  9. #8
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    I have a serious mental illness and my ex had a more severe mental illness. At the end of our relationship I held on for three years and it cost me and set me back within myself! I too blamed it on both of our illnesses combined. Then I had a realization that even if we didnít have mental health issues our drama and co dependency was enough to do us in!

    You canít assume itís his bipolar. Itís him and how he feels. Thatís like saying because heís bipolar heís not responsible for any of his actions his illness is. Like He didnít rob the bank his illness did.

    He knows very well what he wants. You just need to let go and figure out what it is you want.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    He's not stable. Cut your losses and focus on other people.
    Originally Posted by LucasMichael
    he admitted to me he would have to go back into recovery to help his mental health.

    He was instantly back on Grindr and as far as I'm aware it's just for hook ups but even then it seems so quick.


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