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Thread: Not sure what to think now..

  1. #1
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    Not sure what to think now..

    I had asked for advice about my boyfriend, who is bipolar and talking about how he couldn't wait to move in together.
    He told me recently that he's inconsistent and it's his bipolar that causes it. When I tried talking to him about my feelings, he blew up and I waited a couple hours before I texted him, feeling confused about what in fact he truly wanted. He texted back that it was true love we were in and he was sure of it, reminding me he loves and is in love with me. He came over for a while, left and hasn't been back since Sunday night.
    We've been talking and texting everyday, like normal. Yesterday, I called him on lunch and said I was having a bad day. He's been depressed a lot lately too, but I feel depressed, because he's been giving me mixed signals.
    Inconsistency makes me feel off balance and confused. I don't know where I stand with him and he knows I'm a very routine person.
    He mentioned the couple things we have had disagreements about, with me feeling insecure and feeling like he was testing my insecurities and causing feelings of jealousy. That seemed to be his reasoning for being unhappy in general.
    He also said we should've just stayed best friends, which hurt me and I told him I had to go and hung up. Him saying that made me feel like he wishes we never were in a relationship.
    Nothing from him the rest of the day, so I texted him this morning and said, since it seems he's unable to move past & move forward with me, I guess I will come get my things at his house, because I thought it was over. He said he didn't know how to respond to that and he was just letting things calm down some. I explained my feelings and he started talking about a break. I asked what he meant. He said he wants to take a break for a few days and regroup. I've never experienced this before. I'm not sure what to think right now. It doesn't feel like it's good.

  2. #2
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    Is he in therapy and on meds? My father had bipolar for 65 years or so - the official diagnosis wasnít then but at first it was depression. My mother was married to him for 62 years. She didnít know much about it because it was the 1950s and even depression was an enigma. Anyway she loved him and he loved her. He was willing to do therapy and meds. It helped a lot and his illness made her life and mine very hard. And itís hereditary. We didnít get it though. Are you up for this ? If he wonít do therapy and meds or at least regular therapy I wouldnít stick around based on my indirect experience.

  3. #3
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    Is he on meds? Does he work?

  4. #4
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    If inconsistency makes you feel off balance and confused, you are dating the wrong man.

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  6. #5
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    Yes, he's seeing a counselor and a psychiatrist, probably once a month and he's on meds. He's in the process of having them changed though and isn't going about it very quickly, which is the cause of his depression in my opinion. Yesterday, I felt like he was blaming me for the depression. He's on disability and doesn't work.

  7. #6
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    So, you will be footing most of the bills? Has he ever been able to work?

  8. #7
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    We're not living together and as of right now. With this issue now, I'm not sure if we ever will. He seems to make enough on disability to pay his bills right now. He has worked, we actually reunited through work.
    Do you think this 3 days to regroup reasonable? I texted back, Wow, okay I'm not sure how to respond to that a couple hours ago and he never texted me back.

  9. #8
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    Your future us very unstable. What if you want kids?

  10. #9
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    We're in our 40's, so I don't want any more kids, but I would possibly want get married. If he needs a break 5 months into it, actually 2 months, because we were friends for almost 3 months, before I wanted to start the relationship. I think this is awful quick to need a break, isn't it? I don't know what I should say to him. I don't want to lose him, because I love him, but I don't understand why this is happening now.

  11. #10
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    This was his response to me when I asked him about the break... I feel like I need a few days to regroup I guess. I still want to talk and everything. I just need some time to myself I guess.
    If he needs a break, why would he say he still wants to talk and everything? That doesn't make sense to me.

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