Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 3 of 3 FirstFirst 123
Results 21 to 23 of 23

Thread: Understanding my friend

  1. #21
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Posts
    9,600
    Originally Posted by Whatnext32
    I think it would be best to simply tell your friend that you no longer want to discuss her relationship.
    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    I second this!

    It is one thing to be supportive, another to be a sounding board.
    I hear ya, but gosh if she's a good friend, that's sooooo hard to do!

    Going thru same thing, and I cannot imagine myself saying this to a good friend who is struggling, sounds rather snarky, imo.

    I dunno, it's a tough situation to be in, for sure.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    11,812
    See, I saw it as someone who cared enough about me to be honest, even though she was taking the chance that I would choose to be offended.

    One of my friends announced she was going to marry a man she'd met a month earlier. This man was living in a group home situation because he'd been homeless and abusing substances. He'd just finished treatment. That was enough to concern me, but she'd only known him ONE MONTH! Our other friends were cooing and gushing about how beautiful she was going to look in her wedding dress, while I was standing there thinking "do these people realize this is a MARRIAGE that's about to happen? Who cares how pretty she's going to look in a wedding dress! Sure, let's focus on the superficial and never mind that she's going to marry a guy she's known for only a month!" So I wrote her an email. I wrote that I loved her and wanted her to be happy, but I could not in good conscience let this go without expressing my concerns. Instead of getting butt hurt, she thanked me for caring enough about her to say something I knew she might not want to hear. It was a relief because I didn't want to lose her as a friend, but I wasn't willing to lie to keep her. Thankfully, she did NOT end up marrying that man. They broke up about a month after the engagement announcement because she said he was getting on her nerves!

    Can this friend accept honesty without getting upset or blaming you for being "unsupportive" or "negative"? If you feel she can't, I'd just let her know that I understand there are things she doesn't like about him but since she doesn't plan to leave the relationship it's better you two don't discuss him.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Posts
    9,600
    @bolt, yeah being honest. Good point.

    It does get tiring.

    Such a tough situation, cause you don't want to risk offending and possibly jeapardizing the friendship.

    For me, I listen for a bit, then change the subject.

    Seems to be helping.

Page 3 of 3 FirstFirst 123

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •