insecurities (how to get over them?)

We all have a couple flaws here and there that we wish we could fix (e.g. crooked tooth, voice too loud??, etc), but my insecurities (I worry about my overall body shape,, mainly the thighs) have begun creating setbacks in my everyday life. Now I feel like I'm too fat to wear shorts/skirts or go outside or hang out with my skinny friends, and looking into the mirror always leaves me feeling depressed. I've felt this way for a long time (maybe 2 or 3 years now?), my friends and family just think that I'm on a temporary diet, but it is much worse than that in reality. I want to be confident again, and be able to wear shorts, skirts, skinny jeans, and all those stylish clothes without a care in the world. I want to be happy again, like I once was before my insecurities developed, but I don't know how to be. Please help//

Have you actually put on weight or have you recently become insecure about the way you look when nothing has changed?

Skinny jeans and latest trends don’t suit everyone.

The people that can currently pull off skinny jeans , can’t actually pull off the high waisted jeans.

Dress to your body shape.

I can’t do skinny jeans because I’m just not built that way lol.

But I look better in an above the knee dress than the girls that do skinny jeans.

Stop comparing yourself to others! And stop trying to dress to the latest fad.

Toned women that lift weights at the gym are proud that they can no longer fit into their jeans. It shows progress !

And they look so amazing in dresses!

I’m unsure what your issue is exactly?

Ask your parents to take you to a doctor/therapist before this turns into a major problem, eating disorder or body dysmorphic disorder. Only therapy can get to the root of your concerns. In the meantime try not to be vain and accept yourself.

You are not your body. You are a soul full of amazing potential, with a mission to bring light and love in this world. That's everyone's mission. Your value, beauty and uniqueness is not based on your body shape. However, I can tell it bothers you and physical health IS super important. Reclaim yourself. Let this moment of insecurity be the defining moment you take action. Be excited and log your journey. Burpees are now your new best friend. Unplug from social media for a month and take this time to give the most important person in this world some attention and that person is you. I hope to see you reply to all this in a month with great news.

Pardon - I'm of the mind that you can probably work through this on your own by being more careful and conscious of how your mind works. It matters what you absorb in your mind. If you're looking at photos constantly of body images (pictures of models) that seem ideal to you, you're conditioning your mind repeatedly to believe that you should be a certain size or type. Be cautious of the material you pick up like magazines and what you do with social media. I've heard of some very strange trends out there and very little of them are healthy. You should feel capable enough or able enough to look at your own family members and tell the difference between right and wrong. If you're being conditioned at home to believe a certain way about your body, you'll have to come to your own conclusions and make your own decisions about what is healthy and good for you without the influence of your parents, sisters or brothers. If you are still living with your parents or family, those very same people closest to us have the potential to create a lot of tension and unhealthy body image ideas without being fully aware about how their words and actions shape young women.

I think your sense of self and confidence will come directly from your strength of mind and ability to know what's right for you despite what others say. Work on your self-confidence and learn to recognize, as Billie was saying, what works for you and what doesn't.

Did you actually put on weight? If you did, I don't understand your confusion. You exercise and adjust your diet. My friend is doing well with Weight Watchers.

If you did not gain weight, then you must accept your body type. I too, am not thrilled with my thighs, but it is the way I am. The only thing that would make a difference is liposuction, which I will not do. I accept how I am. There are celebrities that have he same issues we have, and have made quite a bit of money off of it. Accept who you are.

I've seen women of all shapes and sizes wearing things that others would say they shouldn't. I admire their confidence!

Plus, not everyone likes "skinny" women. I showed my brother a commercial on TV featuring the T-Mobile Girl (Carly) because I thought he'd think she was cute. He looked and said one word: "Skinny". Said disdainfully. He likes his women to have curves and he LOVES thighs and rear ends.

I bet you look just fine the way you are. Celebrate the differences from your friends!

Try exercising diligently not just for clothing purposes. Do it for your health. Diet doesn't work well unless it's combined with daily or at least exercising 3 - 4x per week without fail for life. Take a walk, run, ride a bike, swim if you're into that, do something to get yourself moving.

I felt like a fat blob for the longest time until I started working out and put myself on a strict diet. I lost 35 pounds within a few months. It's a real self confidence booster which benefits you physically and mentally. I exercise and diet for mental benefits and whatever it does to the body is icing on the cake IMHO.