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Thread: I think he is too shy to make a move

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    From your other thread, I have a strong feeling you're being baited and there's too much drama in your workplace. I say this because of the rampant gossip and the goading/cheerleading from the peanut gallery. It's unprofessional and very off-putting. How long have you worked there? I'd consider making a lateral move to another department or consider promoting yourself or giving yourself a raise (ie. looking for a position for better pay elsewhere without forfeiting your experience if possible). This doesn't sound like a healthy company. Weigh the pros and cons of your employment. Distance yourself right now and stay away from this male coworker. I say this with respect - I think you are making a fool of yourself. The short answer is that he's not interested in you. I think you would know by now. I hope you feel better soon.
    Last edited by Rose Mosse; 04-18-2019 at 11:22 PM.

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by allisonnm
    Honestly, after talking to my coworkers, I just didn't agree with a lot of the advice. Our company is very open about coworkers dating as long as the person isn't your superior and 3 of my coworkers met their husbands at a previous job. Also, I have heard that it is a known fact that he flirts with me as well.
    He is definitely not shy!
    He added you on fb within a few weeks of working with you and asked you to a friends party.
    He then invited himself over to your house the next day , made a move, hooked up with you (even though you apparently don’t do one night stands but did with this guy, why?)
    You hooked up twice since then. Doesn’t sound like he ever made the effort to take you on a date.

    He has had plenty of opportunity to ask you out.
    He just doesn’t want to.

    What made you enter a fwb thing with this guy if you wanted more?
    If you don’t do one night stands then why sleep with someone who has not offered more?
    And by that I don’t mean him saying “ I really like you” “I want to date you” blah blah , I mean by showing he is offering more by actually respecting you and taking you on dates.

    He is not interested. Flirting is not something people only do with someone they want to date, it’s also something people do when they want sex.
    It’s the effort past the flirting stage that differentiates the two.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member sara-pezzini's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Billie28
    He is definitely not shy!
    He added you on fb within a few weeks of working with you and asked you to a friends party.
    He then invited himself over to your house the next day , made a move, hooked up with you (even though you apparently don’t do one night stands but did with this guy, why?)
    You hooked up twice since then. Doesn’t sound like he ever made the effort to take you on a date.

    He has had plenty of opportunity to ask you out.
    He just doesn’t want to.

    What made you enter a fwb thing with this guy if you wanted more?
    If you don’t do one night stands then why sleep with someone who has not offered more?
    And by that I don’t mean him saying “ I really like you” “I want to date you” blah blah , I mean by showing he is offering more by actually respecting you and taking you on dates.

    He is not interested. Flirting is not something people only do with someone they want to date, it’s also something people do when they want sex.
    It’s the effort past the flirting stage that differentiates the two.
    I think this was another co worker...... Started working there in December and hooked up with one and now a crush on another????

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by sara-pezzini
    I think this was another co worker...... Started working there in December and hooked up with one and now a crush on another????
    Someone asked was it the same co worker and she confirmed it was.

    Trigeminal neuralgia... dubbed the suicide disease !
    Glad you got it sorted!!!

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by allisonnm
    Also, I have heard that it is a known fact that he flirts with me as well.
    If he's not too shy to flirt with you, he's not too shy to make a move. Your coworkers may think you'd make a great couple, but nothing's going to happen unless HE thinks so. Men usually express this by asking you out.

    If you can't stand the suspense and wondering 'does he, doesn't he?', then by all means make a move. At least it will settle things in your own mind, but be prepared for disappointment. Maybe all will be good, but this puts me in mind of Greg Behrendt's chapter heading: 'He's just not that into you if he isn't asking you out!'

  7. #16
    Platinum Member sara-pezzini's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Billie28
    Someone asked was it the same co worker and she confirmed it was.

    Trigeminal neuralgia... dubbed the suicide disease !
    Glad you got it sorted!!!
    I think that was about the previous post about this guy, if you read all three threads i think two of them are the same guy and the first thread is another guy, otherwise the stories don't match up either

    Off topic, yeah suicide disease is accurate!! I came very close to that!
    But am painfree for 17 months now!! Cause was a tumor which had twisted the facial nerve in my brain

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by sara-pezzini
    I think that was about the previous post about this guy, if you read all three threads i think two of them are the same guy and the first thread is another guy, otherwise the stories don't match up either

    Off topic, yeah suicide disease is accurate!! I came very close to that!
    But am painfree for 17 months now!! Cause was a tumor which had twisted the facial nerve in my brain
    I can’t find three threads?
    But if the op is talking about a different coworker within a few months timeframe of starting at that workplace , then she is the issue.
    Can you quote where it suggests it’s not the same coworker?

  9. #18
    Platinum Member sara-pezzini's Avatar
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    If you look at her threads you see one from two weeks ago and one from February that was also about a co worker, the last two threads are clearly the same story and guy and the one from February about Facebook and hooking up was a different guy, if not the stories sure don't sound the same, maybe she'll clarify...
    But if it are really two different guys then be aware that this is the easiest way to get a reputation at work, workplace is for work, not hooking up....

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by sara-pezzini
    If you look at her threads you see one from two weeks ago and one from February that was also about a co worker, the last two threads are clearly the same story and guy and the one from February about Facebook and hooking up was a different guy, if not the stories sure don't sound the same, maybe she'll clarify...
    But if it are really two different guys then be aware that this is the easiest way to get a reputation at work, workplace is for work, not hooking up....
    Thanks!
    I read them! To me it sounds like the same person but her “story” has changed.
    OP, are you fantasising or are you actually into someone while hooking up with someone else?
    Please clarify.

  11. #20
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    Originally Posted by Billie28
    Thanks!
    I read them! To me it sounds like the same person but her “story” has changed.
    OP, are you fantasising or are you actually into someone while hooking up with someone else?
    Please clarify.
    I read it as two different people.

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