Ex fwb break up and unfollow

So I was in a sort of fwb situation, with a guy I met in summer. We were seeing each other for the past 8 months, in the beginning it was just phisical even tho we talked, but months had passed and we started getting closer after some problems. He asked for my help to keep his money and some other stuff, that it was kind of dangerous but because I liked him I did it. Everything I could help him I would do.. And we started being more intimate and I thought he was liking me as well.

We always had some issues because I'm not the type of girl to chase men, and I forgot to answer my phone all the time or take sometime to answer. And I didn't stop going out at night. Basically I didn't change my life for him because he didn't give me security to stop doing some things in my life. He was always talking to other girls and when we started hoooking up he was seeing his ex as well.

In the last 2 months I told him I liked him, he didn't want anything serious and we Brooke up and were back together immediately. A few weeks passed and we were great, took care of him when he was sick and was giving him advice, even tho he was liking his ex gf pictures. 2 weeks after he started getting distant, I was trying to show more my feelings and talking more. I respected his space and 1 week after he talked to me saying that he missed me and I made him feel good but it was the best for us. I told him everything I felt and that he didn't try harder I couldn't do this anymore because nothing was enough for him. He said I didn't do enough and he didn't find any reason to date me.

I felt like , like I was worthless.. I did everything I could for a person that didn't do anything for me besides making me feel insecure. I risked my life doing things for him that could put me in jail. And he said that I wasn't there for him? I just didn't lick his ass like his ex because even tho I stayed in this situation I still lived my life.

2 weeks later he texted me calling me baby and that I forgot about him really fast. I didn't answer because he breaks up with me and then has the nerve to say that I forgot about him.

And because I didn't answer, 3 days latter he unfollowed me on Instagram. And I don't know why, or if he ever going to speak to me again. I'm trying to move on but I still love him, will he ever speak to me again and see how stupid he was to me?

It sounds like you already knew he wasn't good for you and that's why you didn't give up your life or your hobbies. That's a good start. Don't second guess yourself. This chapter of your life is over and it's best to keep it closed. He wasn't true to you to begin with and distracted with other issues in his life. Move forwards and don't mistake this for love.

Forget this guy. There was never anything there for you. Block and move on. Good luck.

I know, I feel like I love him, I never felt this feeling with any of my ex's.. I know I did the right thing, he couldn't just come back to my life when it's convenient, and every time he has a stupid attitude I don't answer because I'm angry. I never thought he would unfollow me because I didn't answer. I just want to understand why he did that and if he's ever going to talk to me again. I want to move on but I don't deserve that this just ends like this

I know, I feel like I love him, I never felt this feeling with any of my ex's.. I know I did the right thing, he couldn't just come back to my life when it's convenient, and every time he has a stupid attitude I don't answer because I'm angry. I never thought he would unfollow me because I didn't answer. I just want to understand why he did that and if he's ever going to talk to me again. I want to move on but I don't deserve that this just ends like this

 

You’re saying one thing and doing another.

 

You’re playing like you’re #nofeelings but you’re in love...

 

See the disconnect, you’re being insincere with yourself because the truth is you’ve been emotionally harming yourself trying to convince yourself you were ok with the scraps he was offering you.

 

He did you a huge favor blocking you believe it or not, it gives you a clean and needed break.

But why did he did that tho? That's just that I'm trying to understand. I know I need this space. But it just hurts and I need some answers or insight in my situation. I'm not acting like I don't have no feelings, obviously if I didn't answer is because I'm hurt and angry. And I know I don't deserve the scraps he was giving. I just want closure or to understand why he did what he did to me. So I can move forward, and hope Karma does the work

It seems like he used you and when he couldn't use you past a certain point (you were useless to him) he moved on. He also put you in a dangerous position and you accepted (agreed to doing what he asked of you). I don't think he respects you at all. No man would respect a woman in her own right for listening to or following through on dangerous (illegal) ideas. You were just a pawn to him and when you were easily manipulated he saw that you weren't a challenge. Just my two cents.

 

Don't be afraid and don't carry this resentment inside you. See the big picture. At least try to see enough of it where you aren't in the dark anymore. You don't have to distrust everyone but trust those who prove themselves worthy from the start. This man just isn't that kind of man. Move forwards.

" I risked my life doing things for him that could put me in jail. " Why would you do that for anyone? Not very smart. If he is involved in illegal activity, he is a LOSER!

 

Find a better class of man.

But why did he did that tho? That's just that I'm trying to understand. I know I need this space. But it just hurts and I need some answers or insight in my situation. I'm not acting like I don't have no feelings, obviously if I didn't answer is because I'm hurt and angry. And I know I don't deserve the scraps he was giving. I just want closure or to understand why he did what he did to me. So I can move forward, and hope Karma does the work

 

No you acted as if it didn’t phase you -

 

So I was in a sort of fwb situation, with a guy I met in summer. We were seeing each other for the past 8 months, in the beginning it was just phisical even tho we talked, but months had passed and we started getting closer after some problems. He asked for my help to keep his money and some other stuff, that it was kind of dangerous but because I liked him I did it. Everything I could help him I would do.. And we started being more intimate and I thought he was liking me as well.

We always had some issues because I'm not the type of girl to chase men, and I forgot to answer my phone all the time or take sometime to answer. And I didn't stop going out at night. Basically I didn't change my life for him because he didn't give me security to stop doing some things in my life. He was always talking to other girls and when we started hoooking up he was seeing his ex as well.

In the last 2 months I told him I liked him, he didn't want anything serious and we Brooke up and were back together immediately. A few weeks passed and we were great, took care of him when he was sick and was giving him advice, even tho he was liking his ex gf pictures. 2 weeks after he started getting distant, I was trying to show more my feelings and talking more. I respected his space and 1 week after he talked to me saying that he missed me and I made him feel good but it was the best for us. I told him everything I felt and that he didn't try harder I couldn't do this anymore because nothing was enough for him. He said I didn't do enough and he didn't find any reason to date me.

I felt like , like I was worthless.. I did everything I could for a person that didn't do anything for me besides making me feel insecure. I risked my life doing things for him that could put me in jail. And he said that I wasn't there for him? I just didn't lick his ass like his ex because even tho I stayed in this situation I still lived my life.

2 weeks later he texted me calling me baby and that I forgot about him really fast. I didn't answer because he breaks up with me and then has the nerve to say that I forgot about him.

And because I didn't answer, 3 days latter he unfollowed me on Instagram. And I don't know why, or if he ever going to speak to me again. I'm trying to move on but I still love him, will he ever speak to me again and see how stupid he was to me?

 

So do I believe you did the bold because you truly didn’t care? No of course not, I think you cared deeply but pretending to be aloof thinking it would win him, but that rarely if ever actually works. That’s what I mean when I said you were pretending to be #nofeelings.

 

You continued in a situation that was hurting you. This is the aftermath. It sucks, I’ve been there. You’ll grow from his though, whenever you think about lying to yourself again and acting like crumbs are enough remind yourself of this feeling.

 

He didn’t play you and karma isn’t going to get him, you played right along with this game. Now you know to expect more

But why did he did that tho?

He did it because he wants to be in your head so that when he contacts you again, you'll be so glad he's showing you a bit of attention that you'll willing invite him into your bed and give him all of your sexual emotions which you mistakenly think will win him. Why don't you read some of David D'angelo's books and learn how players work so you won't fall for their games anymore. Read somethings on "pickup artistry" and you will see the pattern. The more he was indifferent to you, the more you tried to win. Don't answer him if he contacts you again because you need to rehab from your addiction to him. Think about getting into therapy to figure out why you'd get yourself so involved with a turd like him.

 

I need this space. But it just hurts and I need some answers or insight in my situation. I'm not acting like I don't have no feelings, obviously if I didn't answer is because I'm hurt and angry. And I know I don't deserve the scraps he was giving. I just want closure or to understand why he did what he did to me. So I can move forward, and hope Karma does the work

He did what he did to you because you let him. It's that simple. You should have dumped him when he treated you like crap instead of "risking your life doing things for him." Stop doing that, no man is going to respect you when you lose respect for yourself for them. A player, like he is will just use you until you start to cause trouble or you start asking for more then what they want to give and then they just stop playing with you.

How does he want to be in my head if he's unfollowing like he is cutting me of his life? I don't want to sleep with him again, even tho I like him. I just couldn't, until he changed, even tho I know that's basically impossible

When we first met he wasn't involved in any of that type of activity. I felt bad for him so I helped, as a friend. The only thing that makes me feel better about myself is that I didn't stop my life for him. Because he never gave me reasons to do it. But he was always getting mad because I didn't gave him the attention he wanted from me. That's what confused me, and made me feel bad. I don't trust easily and I live my life as I like it. Because of past relationships I became more cold with men. I'm basically blaming myself for this all situation and thinking I could've done things differently ou showing more affection. But that probably would be worst. The manipulation and the emotional control he had over me makes me think like this

How does he want to be in my head if he's unfollowing like he is cutting me of his life?

Look how much he is in your head. by unfollowing... You started a thread about it he's in there so deep. Why does he want to? Because he's a player. Period.

 

I don't want to sleep with him again, even tho I like him. I just couldn't, until he changed, even tho I know that's basically impossible

Yes you do want to sleep with him and if he ever contacts you again, you will.

 

If you didn't and you wouldn't, this thread wouldn't exist and you'd not need to seek out answers as to why he does anything. You'd just want to move on from him, you would be glad he's not following you anymore so you're not reminded of him and your goal would not be to get answers but rather to just reach the stage of indifference to him.

 

It does not matter WHY he does anything. What matters is that you are done with him. Now you have time to get back some of the self-respect you lost during the time he was in your life being indifferent to you and taking you for what you'd give him.

 

Forget him and block him from all social media and means of contacting you and YOU close the door on all of this obsessive thinking on him. You'll be glad you did.

What kind of "activity?"

When we first met he wasn't involved in any of that type of activity. I felt bad for him so I helped, as a friend. The only thing that makes me feel better about myself is that I didn't stop my life for him. Because he never gave me reasons to do it. But he was always getting mad because I didn't gave him the attention he wanted from me. That's what confused me, and made me feel bad. I don't trust easily and I live my life as I like it. Because of past relationships I became more cold with men. I'm basically blaming myself for this all situation and thinking I could've done things differently ou showing more affection. But that probably would be worst. The manipulation and the emotional control he had over me makes me think like this

 

He didn’t manipulate or have control over you, whatever he did he did it to a willing participant.

 

YOU made a conscious choice to lie to yourself and convince yourself you’re cold to men and you push them away, when the reality is you chase men and do whatever is needed to please them and when that doesn’t work then you pretend to be aloof. You lie to yourself and convince yourself of you keep going out and acting distant he will come around.

 

I am normally more... understanding of people in these situations because emotionally at times it can be hard to recognize when we’re being our own worst enemies but girl you’re so deep in denial right now. You’re happy you kept your independence? You said you fell in love... you can go out with 100 different guys...if you didn’t bother guarding your heart, what was the point beyond convincing yourself you were actually protecting yourself when you weren’t. The you say at least you weren’t like his ex... the one who he was still in constant contact with? I mean no disrespect but dang she got the title at least, come on now, you can’t do this to yourself...

 

I get not wanting to feel low and start self blaming and you don’t have to, he’s a jerk absolutely you don’t have to look at this as a negative though, like I said... you learned a valuable lesson and now you know. That is priceless.

 

He did to you what you allowed him to do because you convinced yourself you could handle it, you can’t, learn this lesson. Stop playing with Fire. Stop chasing men to prove yourself worthy.

When we first met he wasn't involved in any of that type of activity. I felt bad for him so I helped, as a friend. The only thing that makes me feel better about myself is that I didn't stop my life for him. Because he never gave me reasons to do it. But he was always getting mad because I didn't gave him the attention he wanted from me. That's what confused me, and made me feel bad. I don't trust easily and I live my life as I like it. Because of past relationships I became more cold with men. I'm basically blaming myself for this all situation and thinking I could've done things differently ou showing more affection. But that probably would be worst. The manipulation and the emotional control he had over me makes me think like this

 

You probably could have done things differently but hindsight is 20/20. What matters going forward is that you learn from your mistakes. When you surround yourself with good people and good things in your life new memories are made. Try starting by picking better company, filter lots and make decisions that promote long term happiness and more stability in your life. Say goodbye to that feeling of helplessness and loss of control. I don't believe anyone will really know the reasons why he behaved the way he did or why you behaved the way you did. Only you have the ability to release yourself from all this bad feeling and bad energy. Move forward and don't be afraid to start over.

Whatever girl he is seeing now probably wanted him to cut ties with you completely

 

Look, he came to you for sex and assistance in whatever criminal activity he’s wrapped up in. Now that he doesn’t need your help in either area, he doesn’t need you in his life.

 

You would be wise to look at your own choices in life. It’s a terrible idea to be “a friend” by assisting some type of crime that could completely ruin your own life, OP. That’s not being a friend. That’s enabling and self-destructive.