Getting back together.

Ok here we go. Im looking for some advice really and what nuteral people think.

Me and my ex have been apart for 3 years now we have a young daughter together. Our relationship broke up becuase she was bassically unfaithful.

During our time apart we've always been texting, her more. We have slept together quite a few times 7/10 she would put it on me if that make sense.

She was seeing someone recently for about 6 months but she had been doing the same to him as she did me. Bassically with me. She said she wasnt happy with him. She says she gets a kick out of it and doesnt know how to control it.

She has finally said that she wants to talk about us during the relationship, after and now. I tried to talk but she doesnt really respond to my questions so I wrote a letter for her. (Id share the letter but have to talk some bits out first). I have forgiven her for it.

We constantly have people saying by dont get back together but more people so do it.

What do people think?

Why did you break up? Unfortunately it sounds like she likes bouncing around between guys. Then and now. Right now, focus on co-parenting not dating her on/off.

We are perfect parents but the question being is were talking about it and maybe trying. We broke up becuase of that reason, but her feelings are have changed.

Don’t do it.

She cheated on you. Then she cheated on the next guy. She even admitted she “gets a kick out of it”.

I’m sure she’s fun to be around and you care about her, etc. And she may even regret what she did. But she has shown you (repeatedly) that she’s not capable of love. She lacks empathy and basic values around treating others the way she would want to be treated. Relationships are hard. There WILL be points when you are both unsure again (all relationships have this). You can very reasonably expect her to cheat again in these hard times.

You have a good relationship now and that’s a great thing for your daughter. Don’t ruin it by overloading it and trying to achieve something she isn’t capable of.

I think in this case, you are better to simply be happy with what you have and to look for fidelity, loyalty and love with someone else.

Sounds like she wants an open relationship in that she gets a kick out of sleeping with different men than the one she is in a committed relationship with. If you can handle that, then sure, get back together and focus on bringing up your child the best way you can. Set some ground rules about what it all means (thought to be honest, I'm not sure rules will help here since it's the "kick" she's looking for, not structure and respect.) Anyway - I'm no expert on open relationships. I don't think I'd be able to handle it myself, but each person has to decide what is good for them.

So, me? No. I wouldn't ever get back together with her, ever. Not like that. I could be her friend, but I'd never have sex with her again.

I hate to tell you this, but unlike the movies, people rarely get together again when they've been broken up and separated as long as you two have. Even if they try, they find the feelings have gone and the same problems are there - and obviously, she still has the same problem, she's a cheater.

You need to find a new woman with a clean slate, and integrity.

Subconsciously, we choose a partner we think is worthy of us. Your self esteem is lacking because you're wanting to settle for a person who is a serial cheater and shows no signs she's been through an epiphany to change her poor ethics.

Stop bonding yourself with her by having sex with her. It's both bad for your own mental health and closure, and bad for your future with a partner who could actually be good for you. Because if a potential partner asked, "How long has it been since you've had sex with your ex and you say 2 weeks ago versus 2 years ago, a woman who makes healthy choices will walk away from you.

Work on your self esteem so you'll only accept a quality woman as your one and only. Think about what your child is being exposed to and have discussions with your ex about dating boundaries to keep your child safe from a parade of people entering and exiting his/her life. Your child shouldn't meet any of these partners until mom or dad is in a serious, likely long term relationship.

I'd like to know how you are both perfect parents. I've never met anyone like that!

With regards to your problem, she cheated on you and the new guy many times. What makes you think she'd be a great partner a second time around?

Really! You want a reconciliation on someone who has cheated on you multiple times, and is now cheating with you on someone else? You don't think much of yourself, do you?

She hasn't responded to your questions. I'm assuming you need those questions answered before giving any reconciliation ideas any serious thought. Go from there.