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Thread: Dating single dad, why is he pulling away??

  1. #1
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    Dating single dad, why is he pulling away??

    So this is my first post and I need help! My bf and I have only been dating for about a month. Im 28 with no kids, hes 31 with primary custody of two younger children. Things had been great, met the kids, and over this last weekend he told me he sees this turning into a long term serious thing. But this last week Ive barely heard from him! He went from texting constantly to almost nothing. I work nights and have busy work schedule and am only off two days this week, tuesday I asked if he wanted to try to get together wed or thur and he said we would make something work. Wed rolls around and the only text I got from him was good morning. No mention of getting together. I wanted to give him space since he has already communicated less so i texted once asking if he still wanted to see eachother thur and then once more to say goodnight. What makes it more confusing is his good morning text was really sweet. This is all less than a week after he told me hes fallen really hard for me and sees a future. What gives?? I know it may all sound silly but Ive been hurt alot before and its so early in our relationship the insecurity is still there. Just seems like hes done a 180.
    Last edited by BeenBurned; 04-17-2019 at 11:12 PM.

  2. #2
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    Too much too soon. You should NEVER meet someone' kids after only one month.
    He probably realized this was moving too fast or he is quite simply slammed at work.
    I would not keep testing him.
    I would continue to meet new men for coffee dates so you are not so fixated on him.
    If he calls, he calls. Don't chase.
    and above all,don't see the kids again until you have dated over a year or more.

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    Were not casually dating, were in a relationship so meeting other guys is a no go for me

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    Originally Posted by BeenBurned
    Were not casually dating, were in a relationship so meeting other guys is a no go for me
    you may not be dating anyone else, but you are not in a committed relationship in 4 weeks. Slow your roll.
    This guy has poor boundaries if he tells you this will be long term and serious and you already met his kids.
    Warning. Warning. A dad with good boundaries gets to know someone for longer than 4 weeks before meeting the kids or making promising because he has more than his own heart to protect.

    If a guy has issues finding a baby sitter, but wants to go out, he will be upfront about that.

    Slooow down.


    I stand by what i say - you are not committed to him. If he doesn't solidify a date , then go out for coffee with other men, too.

    Do not wait for him. If something comes of it and he asks you out again in a week or two, go from there.

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  6. #5
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    Too much too soon . Doubt he's your bf and you shouldn't be meeting the kids right now what the hell. That is something you do after a year.

    Chill and breathe.

  7. #6
    Bronze Member Afireblue's Avatar
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    I would be more concern of man that wants to introduce his kids to me after only one month of dating. He isnt showing great decision making so far imo

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    Gold Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    My suggestion is make your own rules as you've continued to do. You've already met the kids so make the most of it. Everyone has their own dos and don'ts when it comes to dating with kids or dating separated(not divorced) partners. This brings me to the question whether he's completely divorced and single as in single marital status or single/separated. I dated a man that was previously separated so no bias here. He's now my husband. I also have a son from a previous relationship. I introduced them to each other within six months. If you ask me, I think that he's spending time with his kids and working out whether you're a good match. What his kids think of you matters to him so he's probably taking a breather and time to think. Be patient and see where this goes in the next week. If you feel like you're in over your head and this isn't a good set up for you, be honest with him and be free to date others.

    You've already recognized you're insecure from previous relationships or dates so take a deep breath and let that go. Don't use it as a scapegoat either. Let your past go.

  9. #8
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    If he introduced you to the kids that soon I have to imagine it's a habit for him.

    Those who come on way too strong right away often disappear just as quickly because it's not real.

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    Rose Mosse Hes been divorced for over three years and hasnt dated much.

  11. #10
    Gold Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Give him time and see where this goes in the next one to two weeks. Come back and let us know how it goes.

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