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Thread: I need to shake this wedding fever!!!!

  1. #1

    I need to shake this wedding fever!!!!

    My boyfriend and I have been together over a year. We live together and I'm madly in love with him. He's fully committed to me, he loves me and he's even helping me raise my daughter. I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to be married. I know that it'll probably be smart to wait. I'm still in school, he's not sure of what he wants to do yet. We're both still young (Me, 21 Him, 25) but I just cant shake this feeling of wanting to get to the alter as soon as possible. Idk if it's because I saw my mom and sisters in happy marriages or because I just love him so much. But I just cant stop thinking about it. He says he eventually will marry me but he always tells me that i need to just relax and enjoy what we have now. Idk why it's so hard. I constantly look at rings and wedding dresses and it even upsets me a little if I hear that one of his friends is getting married or having a baby. Idk what else to do. I wish I didnt feel this way. I'm desperate. And i need advice.

  2. #2
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    You need to relaxxxx. Take it from me I married young and it didnít even last a yr. This feeling will pass if you give yourself time. For now block anything wedding or engagment related. Youíre in a great relationship and when youíre both ready heíll ask. For now just love being in love and in a great relationship.

  3. #3
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    If you wanted to be married, you would not be playing house at your daughter's expense. YOu would have dated and not lived together. You would have dated and if and when you received a proposal you would have gone from there. Not fair to the child.

  4. #4
    Gold Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Try and recondition your mind and enjoy your hobbies and reorient yourself. You sound like you may have a very young child so it's difficult thinking of anything else other than her (and your family life). It's hard but it's not impossible. Think bigger, breathe deeply, smell the roses, be grateful for everything and take it slow. You'll appreciate a lot more that way.

    A ring or a wedding dress or a marriage certificate won't fill any void you may have inside you. If you're feeling wistful or jealous, try and work through why you feel that way. You mentioned only the material aspects/symbols of marriage (rings and wedding dresses) but didn't speak about anything spiritual or deeper/beyond that. I think you're empty of something and it hurts you. I'd caution using marriage to fill any voids. Once you have that ring on and the bells and priests/ministers and flowers are tucked away, you'll be left, once again, with your partner and your daughter in the same house, you'll all be wearing the same clothes, eating the same food, living the same life. Nothing changes. You may expect more out of life and you may be bitter if you're expecting life to feel different. It most likely won't. Ask yourself what you're expecting to achieve with marriage and whether you're being realistic about those expectations, what you want out of life for yourself.

    What are you studying in school?

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  6. #5
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    Do you want a wedding or a marriage?

  7. #6
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    Actually it's pretty simple.

    If you don't relax and continue pushing, you're gonna lose him. Period, end of.

    What's it gonna be?

  8. #7
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    What do you think a marriage certificate will bring you that you don't have right now?

    Since you are urgently feeling this, I am guessing there is something you are trying to soothe within you.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    What do you think a marriage certificate will bring you that you don't have right now?

    Since you are urgently feeling this, I am guessing there is something you are trying to soothe within you.
    Yep...

    I mean you already have everything but the ceremony and title. Cows free milk that whole scenario...

  10. #9
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    How long were you with your daughters father for?

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    How old is your daughter? Were you married to her father? Is the father involved in her life? Does he have visitation/shared custody and pay child support? How long after starting to date did you move in with him?

    Keep in mind living together is for economic convenience and convenient sex. It is not a prelude to marriage. he seems happy just living together and is clearly not as invested as you are. Focus on school, your daughter, financial independence and your career and future.
    Originally Posted by Nouriesmom19
    My boyfriend and I have been together over a year.
    We live together.
    helping me raise my daughter.
    I'm still in school, he's not sure of what he wants to do yet.
    He says he eventually will marry me but he always tells me that i need to just relax and enjoy what we have now.

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