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Thread: Previous Marriage of My Man and the Thorn in My Side Because of It!

  1. #1

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    Previous Marriage of My Man and the Thorn in My Side Because of It!

    My man and I have been seeing each other for nearly one year. From the very beginning I've had a real problem with the details of his former marriage. Here's the story in a nutshell: She's from an Asian country and 18 years his junior. He brought her to the USA along with her two adolescent boys and he adopted her boys, giving them his name. He has a significant amount of wealth, not a fortune, but a significant amount. After ten years of marriage, she decides she wants a divorce (suspiciously, after the boys had graduated from high school). In the divorce she attempted to take him for the vast majority of his assets. My man discovered through a series of events during the divorce proceedings that she was not actually divorced from her first husband (the father of her boys in the Asian Country). This makes her a Bigamist and a criminal and also not legally married to my man here in the USA. So, my man takes this information and informs her that if she does not release him from the divorce proceedings and the hold on his property, he will process paperwork to have her deported for being in the US illegally as a Bigamist and criminal. She responded by releasing him and the divorce never happened. He kept his property and she went on her happy way and he went on to his. Fast forward nine years and he meets me and we're dating. Here's my problem with all this. Number one, I can tell by the conversations I hear between the one (adopted) son and my man that there is no love there from the boy for my man. Trust me, I see it! (The other son was killed in a motorcycle accident several years ago). The surviving boy is in the will and listed as Executor of the Estate. (Yes, may man is very, very naive!) I see very clearly how the former wife may have been caught trying to take him for his money, but that doesn't mean she hasn't found another way to cash in. She's on standby through her son who is now the Executor of the Estate. My man wants to marry me. And I'm wondering what kind of life is there going to be for me if something happens to him, and I get pushed aside and the "illegal" wife and son come pounding on the door to throw me out? Additionally, the father of the son in Asia stays in close touch and I'm wondering what was the purpose of my man, an American adopting this Asian man's boys in the first place? Doesn't all this seem like a big immigration scam perpetrated by this Asian couple to get three people citizenship the the United States? And doesn't it appear that I'm stepping into a big hot mess? And isn't it true that my man is extremely naive? For the record, I am not looking to collect his money for myself. But, I'll be damned if I'll sit back and allow that Bigamist criminal illegal and her son to succeed in their quest to #1 come to America illegally and work schemes against our citizens, and #2 work additional havoc over my life too. What's the advice and feedback from you folks on this matter?

  2. #2
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    I don't understand your concern. It does not matter if he is the executor, the will or trust has to be followed to the letter. I am assuming that when he becomes your husband he would make changes to the document which would include you.

    I suggest you educate yourself on wills and trusts. Executors cannot decide where money goes, they simple execute the instructions.

    What is all the "my man" stuff?

  3. #3
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Just have him change his will. Easy.

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    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Also be aware Americans adopt people from all over. It doesnít matter what race a person is .

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    I suggest you reign in all of your worries. They are a bit extreme.

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    I agree. An executor only executes what is already in the will they donít decide anything .

  8. #7
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    How do i say this...

    Know your role...

    You are the girlfriend of less than a year and youíre already trying to lay claim to his money...

    Iím not a big fan of using the word Golddigger because it has incredibly sexist connotations but Iíll be darned if you donít fit just a bit.

    As a grown woman Iím sure you know thereís his side, her side and the truth, also as a grown woman who Iím assuming is looking for a healthy relationship recognizes the red flags of involving the new girlfriend with his ex wife to this level...so a I canít help but believe you going along with this story because itís financially advantageous to do so...

    If you want to rob his legally adopted son his inheritance because Ďthey donít act like father and soní have at it, itís your prerogative, but I personally am not going to give you advice on the subject.

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    I missed the bit that they had been dating under a year.

    The fact that there is such a focus on this guy's money is concerning. I agree with Figure's post!

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    I agree. An executor only executes what is already in the will they donít decide anything .
    You're right they can't, and shouldn't, but they often do, sadly. Especially when a lot of money is involved and the distribution in the Will or Trust is unequal.

    Or the executor arbitrarily decides how it should be distributed.

    Our law firm has handled quite a few cases of siblings suing each other over this very thing.

    It's gotten very ugly too, and expensive.

    You'd think it would be cut and dry but when it concerns a lot of money, it's often anything but.

    It's really sad and I've seen it tear families apart.

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    You're right they can't, and shouldn't, but they do, sadly.

    Our law firm has handled quite a few cases of siblings suing each other over this very thing.

    It's gotten very ugly too, and expensive.

    You'd think it would be cut and dry but when it concerns a lot of money, it's often anything but.

    It's really sad and I've seen it tear families apart.
    As I am sure it will tear apart my husband and his sister, but the way his parents set everything up has been tantamount to probably a monumental disaster . His parents went against the lawyerís advice . 🙄🙄 Surprise surprise . I canít wait for that event . 🙄

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