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Thread: I donít want a bachelor party

  1. #11
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    A bachelor party doesn't have to involve strippers. I had 0 interest in that before my marriage as well.

    So, my friends and I went and did a rope climbing, zip lining, obstacle course for my bachelor party in the middle of the day. Then we went to a bar-cade. My friends paid for everything as a wedding gift.

  2. #12
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    She isnít pressuring me to get strippers. She knows I donít want any, but said she wonít get upset if I have one. I think she did it to calm my fear (that I really donít have) that I would be worried about how she would feel if there was a stripper.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    If you don't want one, don't have one. I can't relate to the concept of a bachelor party. It's got nothing to do with strippers, either. Maybe it's because I waited until my head was already completely in a place of being committed to my now-wife when I proposed to her. I never had an "omg, last week of being single." And every one I'd have with me for a bachelor party are people I have over pretty much every other week anyhow. I suppose you could hand pick any of those occasions and call it a bachelor party just for the sake of it, but I felt no need for it to be a dedicated event. I also chose not to have a best man and was the principal organizer of the wedding, so I luckily didn't face any real pressure to have one. A couple friends asked, I said nope, and that was that.

    But absolutely more power to anyone who did or does want one. I don't see anything wrong with it. FWIW, every bachelor party I've been to has been low-key and stripper-free.

    I agree with I believe it was Wiseman. Assert yourself. You don't have to be super cynical or anything. Say, "Nah, I'm good" as many times as they ask.

  4. #14
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    Just be honest, assertive and polite. If you don't want one, then say it. Why should they force you against a wall? Speak up, OP. Don't let them step all over you. Come on, you're a big boy. You can do it!

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  6. #15
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    Just tell them , NO!

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by turnerik
    She isnít pressuring me to get strippers. She knows I donít want any, but said she wonít get upset if I have one. I think she did it to calm my fear (that I really donít have) that I would be worried about how she would feel if there was a stripper.
    Why does she say you ďmustĒ have a bachelor party?
    Why are you not communicating properly with each other?
    Tell her that IF you had a bachelor party and IF there were strippers there , that you realise she would be very understanding, but that despite that, YOU are NOT interested in a bachelor party.

    It is NOT up to her to organise a bachelor party , that is the best mans job.
    Tell him the same.

    And tell her and your best man , if they all want a good excuse to have a night out (strippers or no strippers) then they can do that and call it your bachelors party , but that you wonít be there.

    Seriously , if you canít get this through to your fiancťe now , then how are you going to communicate with her in much bigger issues you will face throughout the course of your marriage?

    This should not be a big deal and a half hour conversation.

  8. #17
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    Let's be honest.. Just go play a round of golf or whatever hobby you have with a friend and call it a bachelor party. You get a day to relax before the wedding. She's satisfied. You are satisfied. All is well.

    You should learn to compromise and communicate before getting into a marriage. Is it technically a bachelor party? No. Can you call it one and all is well? Yes.

    Surely you have a hobby. If not, you should get one.

  9. #18
    Gold Member smackie9's Avatar
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    I agree you can make the call in what you want to do and where to go. Go out for a nice dinner, sit around and drink scotch, smoke cigars, play poker or whatever you enjoy. A simple get together with friends is totally acceptable. The tradition of strippers is kinda out dated. I can't remember the last time I heard anyone ever having that type of bachelor party.
    You sound like a reserved person that doesn't like a lot of hoopla so she's thinking it might be good for you to be out of your comfort zone, let your hair down just for one night...and go crazy.
    Last edited by smackie9; 04-17-2019 at 10:56 AM.

  10. #19
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Whatsamatter, you no lika parties?!

  11. #20
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    Originally Posted by Cherylyn
    This is a big problem if your fiancee insists upon your having a bachelor party against your will and she would be cool if there were strippers? Are you sure you wish to marry your fiancee if she behaves like this? It's not just about money, it's about principle of the matter and respecting your wishes. Rethink more than the bachelor party, wedding and honeymoon. What you really need to RETHINK is whom you are marrying, what type of character she is and not caring what you think or what your preferences are. Apparently, your wishes do NOT matter to her which is incredibly alarming to say the least.
    ^^^^ This is what I was going to say. Your fiance sounds like a bully. It's totally your choice about the bachelor party and she should respect your wishes. You need to think about if you want to marry someone who so flagrantly disrespects you. This will NOT improve after marriage.
    I guess if you're okay marrying someone who forces you into things you don't want even after saying no? I think it's kinda weird for your fiance to push strippers on you- as someone else said- Why would she do this unless she plans to do something shady and wants to feel less guilty? I think most women would be thrilled that their man was evolved enough to not want or care about strippers.

    IMVHO, you have a much bigger problem on your hands than money over a concert or your bachelor party. Your fiance does not respect you or care about your feelings. Is this what you want out of a marriage?

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