Do I take him back?

So I was seeing this man for 6 months. He told me from the start he had commitment issues and that he was scared of relationships but we seen eachother and spoke every day. He took me out to places, cooked me dinner and bought me a Christmas and birthday present. We ended up arguing a lot because I was falling harder for him every day and he wasn’t willing to accept he loved me too. In the end he said he needed space from me so that’s what I gave him. One week later he tells me he misses me and loves me but I just can’t help but think he’s just saying it so that I go running back to him so I’m a little bit skeptical. I just keep thinking that if he truely loved me he’d be in a relationship with me by now and he wouldn’t of needed space but he might actually mean it. I told him i’d Think about it because I just really don’t know what to do.. I don’t want to get hurt. He told me he wants to carry on just seeing me until he feels ready for a relationship but I can’t help but feel he’ll never want one.

Sorry I know it’s not what you want to hear , but you are providing everything he thinks a partner should and that he should want that partner but he just doesn’t.

He is not interested enough to explore things further.

Let him go!

People like this tell you exactly what they are about so they can get what they want from you until they don't. And then they can leave without a guilty conscience saying to themselves, "Well, I told her I wasn't the commitment type."

Next time listen so you don't waste your time on someone who puts up barriers with you. Space away from you like you're fumes from a toxic waste dump? Get some self worth and find someone who shows he's crazy about you.

so he's not ready for a relationship? great, ask him to come back when he is and if you're available great, if not he's missed the boat - don't go along with him calling all the shots.

I know this is about me but im not ready for a relationship so im staying clear of women in general. why doesn't he do the same?

good luck.

Please read Andrina's comment again, she is spot on.

He told me he wants to carry on just seeing me until he feels ready for a relationship but I can’t help but feel he’ll never want one.

This makes me want to bang my head on the wall... how lovely for him that he can come and go as he pleases, take space when he feels like it and never commit to you while you wait around for him to make a decision. He must be some unicorn of a guy if you are willing to put your relationship goals on hold for him.

NO. You are better than this... you deserve to be in a committed relationship... and you are right, if he isn't ready for a relationship with you after 6 months he never will be.

"He told me from the start he had commitment issues and that he was scared of relationships" What about this is not clear? Stop looking people you need to change, or convince to be with you. He is stringing you along. Wake up!

He cannot love you, or he would at least be able to have a relationship with you.

He'd have been ready for a relationship with you after two months, if it were ever going to happen. What a player.

There is nothing to take back.In your mind this was a committed relationship going somewhere. He never told you that. He acted like it was FWB. When someone comes with a clear cut disclaimer like this, believe them.

He told me from the start he had commitment issues and that he was scared of relationships. We ended up arguing a lot because I was falling harder for him every day and he wasn’t willing to accept he loved me too.

There is nothing to take back.In your mind this was a committed relationship going somewhere. He never told you that. He acted like it was FWB. When someone comes with a clear cut disclaimer like this, believe them.

Some think they can change others, as we can all see that does not work. She chose him, due to her own commitment issues. if she really wanted a commitment, she would have chosen someone emotionally healthy.

Some always think they can change others, as we can all see that does not work. She chose him, due to her own commitment issues. if she really wanted a commitment, she would have chosen someone emotionally healthy.

Completely agree. You also likely have "issues" - and the push-pull can feel like love, be exciting -and be oh so safe because you know deep down you'll never have the obligations/responsibilties/commitment that come with expressing loving feelings to him.

So I was seeing this man for 6 months. He told me from the start he had commitment issues and that he was scared of relationships but we seen eachother and spoke every day. He took me out to places, cooked me dinner and bought me a Christmas and birthday present. We ended up arguing a lot because I was falling harder for him every day and he wasn’t willing to accept he loved me too. In the end he said he needed space from me so that’s what I gave him. One week later he tells me he misses me and loves me but I just can’t help but think he’s just saying it so that I go running back to him so I’m a little bit skeptical. I just keep thinking that if he truely loved me he’d be in a relationship with me by now and he wouldn’t of needed space but he might actually mean it. I told him i’d Think about it because I just really don’t know what to do.. I don’t want to get hurt. He told me he wants to carry on just seeing me until he feels ready for a relationship but I can’t help but feel he’ll never want one.

He's a commitmentphobe, classic case.

Google it, tons of info discussing it.

My advice? Don't go back, and stay away from him.

If you go back, expect the same thing to happen, only this time it will be sooner than six months.

Commitment fears take years to resolve, if ever, and he's warned you about them..

Stay away.

Oh and next time you encounter a man like this, do not argue with him, just leave.

So I was seeing this man for 6 months. He told me from the start he had commitment issues and that he was scared of relationships but we seen eachother and spoke every day.

Not to sound harsh, but what part of the above do you not understand? It doesn't matter how you spin it, he appeared to be honest and was not stringing you along.

I blame the romantic movies on this type of thinking. It’s easy to get caught up in the thought you can change that one person because you’re special enough.

In reality it’s far from the truth. You can’t change him into wanting a relationship. Unfortunately what you see is what you get. The fact you have to think about this shows me you don’t think highly enough of yourself.

Please op this isn’t something that is whimsical and you can be the exception for him.

There’s a guy out there who will adore you and not make you worry about his devotion.

I would not resume seeing him. I’d tell him that I adore him, I’ve already made it clear that I’m relationship material, so I’m walking away while we both still think highly of one another. If he ever decides that a committed relationship is something he wants with me, he can let me know. If I’m still available then, we can meet to catch up. Otherwise, I wish him the best, but I’m moving forward to find what I want with someone who wants the same thing I do.

Hovering won’t make a reluctant person more inclined to give you what you want, just the opposite. It sends the message that you don’t respect yourself, so you’ll settle for scraps. That’s not exactly inspiring.

Dear Holsmaur, The decision is totally yours, but seems like if you know he has commitment issues and he is not willing to change what can you do? There needs to be a serious conversation with him if this is what you want. He needs to realize how you feel. Don't settle for something that is not the best for you. I wonder if he would be open to counseling to help figure out why he has commitment issues??? I wish you the best, but be sure you take care of your self emotionally and physically. Be careful!