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Thread: Husband won’t accept its over

  1. #11
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LisaGeorgiou

    I am really sorry he is hurting, I really am. How do I make him understand that there is no future for us bedsides coparenting our son?
    It's not your job to make him understand. It's a process he needs to work through on his own.
    When reality sinks in he'll likely be at an all time low.
    But these are the consequences of his actions.

    You two are no longer a team. His `feelings and beliefs' are not your responsibility.
    You take care of you.

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by Gary Snyder
    Well, some guys wear their heart on their sleeves and just can't let go. It may take some time.

    One of the best rejections would be to tell him you have a boyfriend, depending on your morals. Or just get boyfriend. Or start dating, and tell him that you met someone else and want to see where it goes. Additionally, you should be dating even if you don't feel like it yet. It will make you feel better, it's good therapy.

    If he has any good intuition/sense (probably not), he will loose interest when he hears that there is another man in your life.

    There is no way to reject somebody nicely. They have to reject you, it hurts less that way - when it's their own idea.

    Divorce can be tough when you have kids and have to deal with each other until they are 18.


    This is more likely to cause jealousy and violence that it is to make him want to move on. Especially if he is this torn up over it. He may think the other man was there the whole time... Really, that would create more potential problems than it solves. Not to mentioning wasting some other guy's time as a rebound.

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by Gary Snyder
    Well, some guys wear their heart on their sleeves and just can't let go. It may take some time.

    One of the best rejections would be to tell him you have a boyfriend, depending on your morals. Or just get boyfriend. Or start dating, and tell him that you met someone else and want to see where it goes. Additionally, you should be dating even if you don't feel like it yet. It will make you feel better, it's good therapy.

    If he has any good intuition/sense (probably not), he will loose interest when he hears that there is another man in your life.

    There is no way to reject somebody nicely. They have to reject you, it hurts less that way - when it's their own idea.

    Divorce can be tough when you have kids and have to deal with each other until they are 18.
    She should not be telling him that she has a bf. He could become vengeful, or it could be held against her in court. He needs to deal with the situation. It is also more painful to believe that you have been cheated on.

  4. #14
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    It seems as if you have been through a lot. You may need to reach out to those wise people in your inner circle to give you sound advice. It would be good to have their support and guidance right now. Is there any hope for reconciliation? I pray that your relationship with your ex will be strengthened to co-parent your child. Stay encouraged.

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  6. #15
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    And then yesterday I get this message from the other woman or whatever she is:

    “Ok. So it did only happen for the one month last yr. He initiated it due to a joke myself our storeman and him were having when cutting him cable. I can't remember how it started all I remember was Michael saying. Try being with one person for 11 yrs that's boring. I need a change and something new. I ignored and brushed the comment off. As he was walking out the door he was like text me text me let's have some fun.... there's always inappropriate comments with EVERY MALE customer that walks in. The guys think it's normal to talk to me like a bloke and In a male dominated industry you learn to deal with it accept it and move on. Anyway Michael kept persisting wanting pics wanting info wanting to catch up making comments trying to brush passed me in the isles when I was helping get gear for him. I didn't chase he chased he pushed he pressured. I sent one pic and if I could find it on my Facebook id send it so u could see. He sent a pic some stupid cartoon thing. In the end i just kept changing the subject or avoiding his comments and questions to meet and send .But that was it. There was no hooking up no sex no naked pics... he's a sleaze ball and you deserve better. He's lucky he doesn't shop with us anymore because I'd seriously drop him for saying it was all me.”

  7. #16
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    And when I asked her about the email about borrowing a mates place for sex she said that my husband (ex) had wanted her to drop some equipment off to a job at a mates place who had told them they could “use” the place. She says that she never went there. Who knows. She’d be an idiot to admit it seeing as though she’s still with her husband.
    As much as these messages were a kick in the guts, it was the kick that I needed to confirm I have made the right decision.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    What was her message in response to? Why would she have your contact info, do you know her/work with her? What questions was she responding to?
    Originally Posted by LisaGeorgiou
    And then yesterday I get this message from the other woman or whatever she is

  9. #18
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    What was her message in response to? Why would she have your contact info, do you know her/work with her? What questions was she responding to?
    A while ago I sent her a text (I got her number off my ex h’s phone a while back) asking for the truth. She finally replied.

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