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Thread: Boyfriend does not love me

  1. #11
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    If he does not love you at this point, he never will. Stop excusing him, and move on. You are wasting your time.

  2. #12
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    I read somewhere that men know within TEN minutes if she's "the one." I just looked it up again and confirmed.

    I don't know how they know, but they know.

    My ex definitely knew with minutes, we were together six years. He wasn't even looking for a girlfriend or RL when we met, he had just gotten out of one!

    My current bf said he knew within minutes of meeting me (in person, we met on line) I was the one (he didn't use those exact words).

    Granted, it's not true for all guys, I would never say that.

    But generally speaking, guys really don't need a ton of time to "figure it out" and if they do, then he may be attracted to you and care about you, enjoy spending time with you, even go exclusive with you, but you're not the "the one" for him.

    OP, I am so sorry but I would stop waiting around for him to "fall in love." Not gonna happen from what I've read and know about men.

  3. #13
    Silver Member Nickel Speed's Avatar
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    10 minutes? Completely ridiculous advice.

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by Nickel Speed
    10 minutes? Completely ridiculous advice.
    I was quoting the men Nickel, don't shoot the messenger. lol

    I found a poll on line (a couple actually) of about 30 men and a good majority said they knew within ten minutes or a very short period of time.

    True for my ex and my current.

    And as I said, not true for all men obviously, you being one of them.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    10 minutes? Completely ridiculous advice.
    Nickel, try to be respectful, please.

    We all have different opinions and insights on these forums, you may not agree with them all but no reason to attack.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    I read somewhere that men know within TEN minutes if she's "the one." I just looked it up again and confirmed.

    I don't know how they know, but they know.

    My ex definitely knew with minutes, we were together six years. He wasn't even looking for a girlfriend or RL when we met, he had just gotten out of one!

    My current bf said he knew within minutes of meeting me (in person, we met on line) I was the one (he didn't use those exact words).

    Granted, it's not true for all guys, I would never say that.

    But generally speaking, guys really don't need a ton of time to "figure it out" and if they do, then he may be attracted to you and care about you, enjoy spending time with you, even go exclusive with you, but you're not the "the one" for him.

    OP, I am so sorry but I would stop waiting around for him to "fall in love." Not gonna happen from what I've read and know about men.
    Didnít you just give amk advice that thereís no way after two weeks heís that into her?

    I donít buy the ten minutes thing at all

    Maybe in ten minutes they know if they feel an attraction!

  8. #17
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    I actually agree with you MLD, again I was quoting the men in the polls I read. And both my ex and my current fell hard quickly, as did I for them.

    But, even IF a man thought she was "the one" within minutes, that doesn't mean he can't change his mind as he gets to know her, as is what happens with amk's boyfriends, imo.

    I guess my point was, if OP's bf doesn't think he loves her after ten months, then it's doubtful he ever will.

    But generally speaking, I agree with you, I don't think it's "love" after ten minutes either, some men just believe it is at the time.

  9. #18
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    Originally Posted by mustlovedogs
    Didnít you just give amk advice that thereís no way after two weeks heís that into her?
    And to clarify, I did not say he's not "into" her after two weeks.

    I said he may believe he loves her after two weeks, but it's too soon to know that for certain.

    I also said a man might be attracted, and care about her, even go exclusive, but still not think she's the one.

    Being "into" someone and believing you "love" that person are two entirely different things IMO.

    Hope that clarifies.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
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    Ok, yes, that makes a lot of sense. Thank you for clarifying :)

  11. #20
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    Originally Posted by Cb1982
    I'm a 34 year old female. My boyfriend is 38. We've been together 10 months and he is not in love with me. I do love him and I have told him I do. He said he cares about me a lot, but is not in love. He has had a rough year. His mother passed away 4 months into our relationship and he's had to deal with a lot of the stress of handling family matters since then. I feel like because of the out of ordinary circumstances, I should give him more time, but I also don't want to be blind to the possibility that he may not develop those feelings. I'm confused about how long I should wait. I don't want to end the relationship but I also don't want to keep something going that may not go anywhere. He did say he never told his last girlfriend he loved her and that he never did. They we're together for a little more than a year and this was before he had any major stressful events occur. I'm just not sure what to do. I don't want to be selfish but I also want to look out for my own well being.

    Let me add that he has said he does not love me. It's not that he just hasn't said the words yet.
    That's incredibly sad
    Its one thing if he has not said "i love you" yet. Some men don't say it until they have made a decision of commitment.
    Its another if he says "i am not in love with you" - at 10 months, they don't have to feel "i want to marry her" - but not being in love with someone -not having romantic feelings is incredibly sad

    Sorry to say, I would NEXT him and find someone who has the potential to fall in love with you and have romantic feelings.

    life is too short to be a "buddy"

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