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Thread: Ex fwb break up and unfollow

  1. #1
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    Ex fwb break up and unfollow

    So I was in a sort of fwb situation, with a guy I met in summer. We were seeing each other for the past 8 months, in the beginning it was just phisical even tho we talked, but months had passed and we started getting closer after some problems. He asked for my help to keep his money and some other stuff, that it was kind of dangerous but because I liked him I did it. Everything I could help him I would do.. And we started being more intimate and I thought he was liking me as well.
    We always had some issues because I'm not the type of girl to chase men, and I forgot to answer my phone all the time or take sometime to answer. And I didn't stop going out at night. Basically I didn't change my life for him because he didn't give me security to stop doing some things in my life. He was always talking to other girls and when we started hoooking up he was seeing his ex as well.
    In the last 2 months I told him I liked him, he didn't want anything serious and we Brooke up and were back together immediately. A few weeks passed and we were great, took care of him when he was sick and was giving him advice, even tho he was liking his ex gf pictures. 2 weeks after he started getting distant, I was trying to show more my feelings and talking more. I respected his space and 1 week after he talked to me saying that he missed me and I made him feel good but it was the best for us. I told him everything I felt and that he didn't try harder I couldn't do this anymore because nothing was enough for him. He said I didn't do enough and he didn't find any reason to date me.
    I felt like , like I was worthless.. I did everything I could for a person that didn't do anything for me besides making me feel insecure. I risked my life doing things for him that could put me in jail. And he said that I wasn't there for him? I just didn't lick his ass like his ex because even tho I stayed in this situation I still lived my life.
    2 weeks later he texted me calling me baby and that I forgot about him really fast. I didn't answer because he breaks up with me and then has the nerve to say that I forgot about him.
    And because I didn't answer, 3 days latter he unfollowed me on Instagram. And I don't know why, or if he ever going to speak to me again. I'm trying to move on but I still love him, will he ever speak to me again and see how stupid he was to me?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    It sounds like you already knew he wasn't good for you and that's why you didn't give up your life or your hobbies. That's a good start. Don't second guess yourself. This chapter of your life is over and it's best to keep it closed. He wasn't true to you to begin with and distracted with other issues in his life. Move forwards and don't mistake this for love.

  3. #3
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    Forget this guy. There was never anything there for you. Block and move on. Good luck.

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    I know, I feel like I love him, I never felt this feeling with any of my ex's.. I know I did the right thing, he couldn't just come back to my life when it's convenient, and every time he has a stupid attitude I don't answer because I'm angry. I never thought he would unfollow me because I didn't answer. I just want to understand why he did that and if he's ever going to talk to me again. I want to move on but I don't deserve that this just ends like this

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Mariajoao97
    I know, I feel like I love him, I never felt this feeling with any of my ex's.. I know I did the right thing, he couldn't just come back to my life when it's convenient, and every time he has a stupid attitude I don't answer because I'm angry. I never thought he would unfollow me because I didn't answer. I just want to understand why he did that and if he's ever going to talk to me again. I want to move on but I don't deserve that this just ends like this
    Youíre saying one thing and doing another.

    Youíre playing like youíre #nofeelings but youíre in love...

    See the disconnect, youíre being insincere with yourself because the truth is youíve been emotionally harming yourself trying to convince yourself you were ok with the scraps he was offering you.

    He did you a huge favor blocking you believe it or not, it gives you a clean and needed break.

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    But why did he did that tho? That's just that I'm trying to understand. I know I need this space. But it just hurts and I need some answers or insight in my situation. I'm not acting like I don't have no feelings, obviously if I didn't answer is because I'm hurt and angry. And I know I don't deserve the scraps he was giving. I just want closure or to understand why he did what he did to me. So I can move forward, and hope Karma does the work

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    It seems like he used you and when he couldn't use you past a certain point (you were useless to him) he moved on. He also put you in a dangerous position and you accepted (agreed to doing what he asked of you). I don't think he respects you at all. No man would respect a woman in her own right for listening to or following through on dangerous (illegal) ideas. You were just a pawn to him and when you were easily manipulated he saw that you weren't a challenge. Just my two cents.

    Don't be afraid and don't carry this resentment inside you. See the big picture. At least try to see enough of it where you aren't in the dark anymore. You don't have to distrust everyone but trust those who prove themselves worthy from the start. This man just isn't that kind of man. Move forwards.

  9. #8
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    " I risked my life doing things for him that could put me in jail. " Why would you do that for anyone? Not very smart. If he is involved in illegal activity, he is a LOSER!

    Find a better class of man.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Mariajoao97
    But why did he did that tho? That's just that I'm trying to understand. I know I need this space. But it just hurts and I need some answers or insight in my situation. I'm not acting like I don't have no feelings, obviously if I didn't answer is because I'm hurt and angry. And I know I don't deserve the scraps he was giving. I just want closure or to understand why he did what he did to me. So I can move forward, and hope Karma does the work
    No you acted as if it didnít phase you -

    Originally Posted by Mariajoao97
    So I was in a sort of fwb situation, with a guy I met in summer. We were seeing each other for the past 8 months, in the beginning it was just phisical even tho we talked, but months had passed and we started getting closer after some problems. He asked for my help to keep his money and some other stuff, that it was kind of dangerous but because I liked him I did it. Everything I could help him I would do.. And we started being more intimate and I thought he was liking me as well.
    We always had some issues because I'm not the type of girl to chase men, and I forgot to answer my phone all the time or take sometime to answer. And I didn't stop going out at night. Basically I didn't change my life for him because he didn't give me security to stop doing some things in my life. He was always talking to other girls and when we started hoooking up he was seeing his ex as well.
    In the last 2 months I told him I liked him, he didn't want anything serious and we Brooke up and were back together immediately. A few weeks passed and we were great, took care of him when he was sick and was giving him advice, even tho he was liking his ex gf pictures. 2 weeks after he started getting distant, I was trying to show more my feelings and talking more. I respected his space and 1 week after he talked to me saying that he missed me and I made him feel good but it was the best for us. I told him everything I felt and that he didn't try harder I couldn't do this anymore because nothing was enough for him. He said I didn't do enough and he didn't find any reason to date me.
    I felt like , like I was worthless.. I did everything I could for a person that didn't do anything for me besides making me feel insecure. I risked my life doing things for him that could put me in jail. And he said that I wasn't there for him? I just didn't lick his ass like his ex because even tho I stayed in this situation I still lived my life.
    2 weeks later he texted me calling me baby and that I forgot about him really fast. I didn't answer because he breaks up with me and then has the nerve to say that I forgot about him.
    And because I didn't answer, 3 days latter he unfollowed me on Instagram. And I don't know why, or if he ever going to speak to me again. I'm trying to move on but I still love him, will he ever speak to me again and see how stupid he was to me?
    So do I believe you did the bold because you truly didnít care? No of course not, I think you cared deeply but pretending to be aloof thinking it would win him, but that rarely if ever actually works. Thatís what I mean when I said you were pretending to be #nofeelings.

    You continued in a situation that was hurting you. This is the aftermath. It sucks, Iíve been there. Youíll grow from his though, whenever you think about lying to yourself again and acting like crumbs are enough remind yourself of this feeling.

    He didnít play you and karma isnít going to get him, you played right along with this game. Now you know to expect more

  11. #10
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Mariajoao97
    But why did he did that tho?
    He did it because he wants to be in your head so that when he contacts you again, you'll be so glad he's showing you a bit of attention that you'll willing invite him into your bed and give him all of your sexual emotions which you mistakenly think will win him. Why don't you read some of David D'angelo's books and learn how players work so you won't fall for their games anymore. Read somethings on "pickup artistry" and you will see the pattern. The more he was indifferent to you, the more you tried to win. Don't answer him if he contacts you again because you need to rehab from your addiction to him. Think about getting into therapy to figure out why you'd get yourself so involved with a turd like him.

    I need this space. But it just hurts and I need some answers or insight in my situation. I'm not acting like I don't have no feelings, obviously if I didn't answer is because I'm hurt and angry. And I know I don't deserve the scraps he was giving. I just want closure or to understand why he did what he did to me. So I can move forward, and hope Karma does the work
    He did what he did to you because you let him. It's that simple. You should have dumped him when he treated you like crap instead of "risking your life doing things for him." Stop doing that, no man is going to respect you when you lose respect for yourself for them. A player, like he is will just use you until you start to cause trouble or you start asking for more then what they want to give and then they just stop playing with you.

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