Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 18

Thread: 2 months of lies

  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
    Posts
    106

    2 months of lies

    I recently met a young lady on facebook, we began talking and eventually what I thought was a serious relationship. Lets just say that I should have paid attention to the red flags.

    About 2 weeks after we met she had a class for her work to take about 300 miles away. We planned the trip and we stayed the whole weekend in that town and enjoyed one another. As the weeks went buy she would travel the 50 miles to see me and stay at my apartment. I offered several times to make the trip to her since she has 2 kids to load up. We had met the first few times without the kids. She would make the excuse that it was easier for her since she got off of work at 2pm to drive down and be here at 5pm when i got off, but she wouldnt ket me come to her apartment, RED FLAG #1.

    Fast forward to a month later. She was cramping and has missed her period, so she went to urgent care and she "said" that they told her that she was pregnant. At this time I didnt ask for proof b/c I still trusted her that she wouldnt make it up. As the weeks followed I ended up telling my family and she "told" me that she talked to her mom and stepdad and that they wasnt happy about it. About a month after that she said she starts bleeding and clotting really bad. I tell her that WE need to go to urgent care or the emergency room NOW, she declines and tells me that she just talked to her obgyn and there was nothing that they could do, I keep pressing to go and she keeps declining. A week after that she tells me that she miscarried and there was no need to go to the doctor and get proof, I demanded it but she kept declining it, RED FLAG #2.

    I finally have enough doubt and find her mother on facebook and ask her if she knew anything about her daughter being pregnant and having a miscarriage, she was in shock and said that she didnt know. I asked her to call me and we talked for about 2 hours and I find out alot of stuff.

    First, her exbf didnt move out last year like she said, her mom said he just moved out a month ago and that he stays there during the day and watches his daughter until my now ex gets home then he leaves.

    Second, I was referred to as her "friend"

    Third, she lied to her parents about the work trip she was taking. She said a girlfriend of hers was going and that she was a grown woman.

    Forth, How can you fake a pregnancy and get my hopes up of having a kid, that is just screwed up and put me into an emotional roller coaster.

    I know that karma is a b*tch and what goes around comes around. I have been NC since she emailed me thursday morning trying to justify her actions.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    8,879
    Listen to your gut next time, OP.

    You knew something wasn't adding up. You were right.

    I would also encourage you to take your time really getting to know someone before considering yourself in a serious relationship with them. Remain No Contact with her. She isn't the most stable or mature individual.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    5,524
    It's another case of people online pretending to be someone they are not. It's why you have to be extremely cautious with anyone you meet online and to take things very slow so you get to know for sure who this person is.

    Truth be told, you didn't know her (or barely). You only knew what she wanted you to know and there might be even more that the mom doesn't even know about.

    Best to stay away for good from her and hopefully take this as a harsh lesson to not trust so easily and to go at a much slower pace when dating.

    You're lucky this time that it was only small lies that didn't endanger you, next time you might not be so lucky. (always use protection).
    Though I would still get tested for STDs if I were you.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    2,846
    Gender
    Female
    I agree with the others. And also, never have sex without condom when you barely know someone. It will spare you from messes like this.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Location
    central Florida
    Posts
    3,443
    Gender
    Female
    In this day and age, I can't believe a person risking AIDS, other STDs, and pregnancy by not spending $10 for condoms. I'd be questioning your own decision-making skills and your poor ethics by telling another person (her mother) about the woman's private business. That's not your place to do something so unethical. If you needed that info, you should have hired a private detective.

    The best thing to do is learn from your own mistakes and to practice safe sex in future dating experiences.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    5,524
    In this day and age, I can't believe a person risking AIDS, other STDs, and pregnancy by not spending $10 for condoms. I'd be questioning your own decision-making skills and your poor ethics by telling another person (her mother) about the woman's private business. That's not your place to do something so unethical.
    I agree. Some STDs are lifelong and some will kill you. You need to make smarter decisions.

    As for dragging the mom into it, you should have just walked away when you felt something was off.
    Yeah, in the end you were right and she was a liar, but it shouldn't have gotten to the point of bringing her mom into it.

    You might want to consider your own judgement here, OP and how careful you actually are on who you let into your life and how easily you believe anything without taking time to know for sure.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    2,846
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    I agree. Some STDs are lifelong and some will kill you. You need to make smarter decisions.

    As for dragging the mom into it, you should have just walked away when you felt something was off.
    Yeah, in the end you were right and she was a liar, but it shouldn't have gotten to the point of bringing her mom into it.

    You might want to consider your own judgement here, OP and how careful you actually are on who you let into your life and how easily you believe anything without taking time to know for sure.
    Yes, if I were a man and someone told me they were pregnant and refused to present proof (like going with me to the doctor appointments) or something felt off (looking like they're lying) I'd stay away after the "abortion" and wouldn't feel the need to bring the mom into it. You barely knew her, so it's not like you were with her for years and knew her family and had enough confidence with them to talk to them (meaning you've met them in person) . You didn't need to get to this point and shouldn't have been treating this as a serious relationship when you barely knew her. You just needed to break up and stay away from this drama.

  9. #8
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
    Posts
    106
    I have guys, I have blocked her by any means to get ahold of me. I had a blood test done friday and it came back negative for anything.

    I just cant believe that someone would emotionally destroy someone like this.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    California
    Age
    55
    Posts
    7,796
    Gender
    Male
    True she deceived you but you have some blame in all this too.

    What were you thinking having unprotected sex with what was essentially a stranger? Use your head (the big one) and stop doing dumb stuff like this. If nothing else this is an excellent learning experience.

    Think of it this way: She had no issues lying to you about some pretty serious stuff so I am sure she has no problems lying to you about not having an std.

    Your doctor should have informed you that any blood test that soon will not be reliable and you need to have a few more to be considered in the clear.

    You dodged a bullet so be thankful.

    Lost

  11. #10
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    1,455
    Originally Posted by 2005TAHOE
    I have guys, I have blocked her by any means to get ahold of me. I had a blood test done friday and it came back negative for anything.

    I just cant believe that someone would emotionally destroy someone like this.
    I see you at least owned that you didn't acknowledge the red flags and instead chose to ignore them. You are very lucky to be STD free and have found all of this out within a short period of time instead of investing several months or even years. Going forward pull back the reins and don't rush into calling it serious after just 2 months... ideally you should still be dating and getting to know the person in that time frame.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •