Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 11 to 12 of 12

Thread: He does not want serious relationship

  1. #11
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    1,687
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by Kikala
    Katerina thank you for spending time and asking those questions. I though a lot about them. The thing is that he has all the qualities I look in man: he is bright, open minded, kind to others, with strong spirit. We also have a lot of common interests and I can be freely myself next to him. I do not think that he is bad person, but I have problem with his relationship toward me. I know that I want to be with him and it is painful for me to watch him going and saying to myself that it is a last time I see him and then again he comes back. I never initiate anything, even do not text him. I do not understand him, if he wants short term relationships why he still comes back to me. He knows my position. I tried to ask this question to him but without result.This uncertainty makes me unhappy and does not allow me to move forward.
    But there's really no uncertainty here, you see?

    He does not have all of the qualities you look for in a man—not even close. He's bright, open-minded, and so on—great. That's entry level stuff. But he's also wishy-washy, evasive, unreliable, and uninterested in a relationship with you—not great. That's dealbreaker stuff, or should be.

    Why does he still come back to you? Because you let him.

    Your "position" is not what you think it is, not in practice, since you keep letting him in. In practice your position is you'll let him back into your life, have sex with him, not push him at all.

    And, well, he likes that. It works for him. If it doesn't work for you, you move on, and forward.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    9,467
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Kikala
    I do not understand him, if he wants short term relationships why he still comes back to me. He knows my position. I tried to ask this question to him but without result.This uncertainty makes me unhappy and does not allow me to move forward.
    He's made himself clear. He doesn't want a serious relationship with you and he keeps coming back hoping you will agree to his terms.

    His words and his actions are the same.

    You get to decide whether you'll agree to a casual relationship and if not, then you move forward.

    You're making this more complicated than necessary.
    And I think you make it complicated so you won't make the decision to walk away from something that is clearly not right for you.

Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •