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Thread: I'm confused, and she is too?

  1. #1

    I'm confused, and she is too?

    So, my girlfriend (or ex idk what we are rn) have been talking and I've realized I have feelings for her and as of recent I've made it clear I want to get back together, but during this time she's been on and off affectionate and loving, and It really confused me. She says she isn't sure if she's suppressed her feelings for fear of getting hurt, or if she doesn't have feelings for me and she doesn't know how to feel. I have no idea if I'm doing the right thing, staying there not being together, but not moving on. Every choice seems wrong to me, what do you all think I should do?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member
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    We need some context, OP.

    How long were you together, and when did you break up? And why?

    What is she referring to when she says she's afraid of getting hurt?

  3. #3
    Gold Member
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    By remaining in touch with her and willingly being her safety net , she will never choose you.
    Because at this point she can explore other options , knowing that you are also an option just waiting around in limbo.

    If she was ever to choose you and not just choose you as something to fall back on , she needs to realise that you are not her safety net and that you are not always going to be there.

    What that means , is that you firstly need to accept that she is not your gf anymore. And you donít owe her anything.
    You need to start grieving the loss and remove any hope.
    That includes having no contact with her even if she initiates.

    The only time you should ever respond to her is when she genuinely wants to discuss in person and without any doubts on her part that she wants to reconcile.

    Good luck!

  4. #4
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by AlolanTr33
    during this time she's been on and off affectionate and loving, and It really confused me. She says she isn't sure if she's suppressed her feelings for fear of getting hurt, or if she doesn't have feelings for me and she doesn't know how to feel.
    - Unfortunately, when you break up for a period of time, the love usually dies or has already died. When she goes back and forth between being affectionate and just friendly, when she runs hot and cold, when she is teetering back and forth between the friendship and lover line, this is further indication that her love for you has died - and it will likely never return.

    No problem! Just find a new woman to date, start off with a clean slate.

    It's not like you see in the movies, this is reality. You get once chance at love per person.

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