sullensloth Posted April 14, 2019 Share Posted April 14, 2019 A few days ago my ex boyfriend and I got into an argument (except he was kinda just talking at me while I was quite) and he ended up calling me a . I told him to get out of my car and I drove off. Initially he seemed sorry, and I guess he still does. It’s not that he doesn’t care about me either, he just has a really bad temper and can’t handle himself. I miss him a lot, and I love him a lot. But today he called me and told me that although he loved me, he was not going to change for me and that for me was just a clear sign that I have to move on. I so badly just want to call him and tell him that I miss him, asking to working it out. Please just remind me that I am better off :’( Link to comment
Billie28 Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 How recent was this break up? And why are you excusing his temper? He is choosing to remain the way he his over you which suggests you are not enough for him to WANT to change , get help etc He does not love you enough. Link to comment
Cherylyn Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 Don't call him and cease all contact if you want to heal and be better off. His temper and lack of self-control are huge red flags. It's only a matter of time before he'll call you an _______ again. It is a reflection of his mind and no amount of self-control can prevent him blurting out that you're an _____ again. This what is so disappointing and hurtful. Now you know what he's capable of. This is a major trust issue. Never be with a man who has the potential to hurt you in the most disrespectful way. Steer clear and really scrutinize character before you become serious with anyone. Make sure your radar is up and beware. Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 He needs some anger management techniques and you need to stop excusing his terrible behaviour. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 He calls you names, has anger issues and has no intention of changing. What is there to miss! Move on! Block and delete him, too. Link to comment
The Cold One Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 I mean it's up to you entirely, there's no clear answer as to whether you did the right thing or not. We don't know the specifics of this argument and you haven't really detailed the context that this argument broke out in. Anyway, just an unpopular opinion, voluntary change is just a myth, nobody can really will themselves into permanently and genuinely changing who they are: their fundamental habits, behaviors and routines; it's all encoded in our DNA, you can try resisting your urges, but still the possibility and the overall rate of success of such attempts are still limited by who you naturally are, which isn't in anyone's control really. I believe he was just being realistic when he said he wouldn't change for you, and again it's entirely up to you to decide what trouble you're willing to tolerate for the sake of any given relationship, no wrong or right answers here. Link to comment
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