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Thread: What to do after going out with colleagues?

  1. #1
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    What to do after going out with colleagues?

    Last Friday we went on a team trip which was a lot of fun. It ended quite early so some of us decided to head into the city for some beers. One of my colleagues, let's call her Amber, who I didn't really talk to before since she's new, kept laughing at all my jokes and kept touching my arm. She also described a person that looks like me as her type to a colleague.

    We all left the bar and most colleagues decided it was time to head home. I missed my train so Amber invited me to her house to wait for it. We ended up talking for around 2 hours before I left (note, this was around 6AM). After I left she was the first one to send me a message saying that she hopes that I get home safe and sleep well. I texted her the other day saying that I had a great time, she responded that she had a great time as well.

    Anyways, back to evening. This might be where I messed up: I didn't make a move. I should have, but I didn't. One reason is that we were both quite intoxicated and I didn't want to take advantage. I do regret not doing it though, because I'm not sure what my position is now.

    So how can I proceed? Did I totally mess up by not making a move on Friday? Or can I still repair it?

    Also, we're both interns, so I'm not scared of losing my job.

  2. #2
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    Personally, I don't like dating colleagues. Things could get awkward if it doesn't work out.

    How long is the internship for? Maybe wait until the internship is over?

  3. #3
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    You did the right thing.

    Ask her out on a proper date.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    You didn't do anything wrong, actually you did the right thing by waiting until you were both sober before deciding you would like to go on a date with her.

    This is super easy since all the ground work is already done. I would say call her up and tell her "I had a great time with you the other night and would like to take you to dinner so we can get to know each other better"

    She has shown interest, you are her type and the ice has already been broken. The only way it gets easier than this is if SHE asks you out!

    As far as being work colleagues goes I wouldn't worry, we go through interns around my work like crazy so it is not your forever career right?

    Be brave and contact her right away but make sure you have a plan on what, where and when.

    Lost

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  6. #5
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Save the good night text in case things go bad and she sues for harassment.

    That aside, yes, you should go for the first kiss within the first few dates - if you wait too long, the woman can loose interest. And yes, hanging out with her at home alone is an impromptu date.

    So, you still have time!

  7. #6
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    What kind of move did you think was appropriate? It wasn't even a date.

    Get to know her first before you think about making moves.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    You did the right thing. Hitting on anyone when drunk is always a bad idea. Behaving as a gentleman will get you further!

  9. #8
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    Originally Posted by SarahLancaster
    What kind of move did you think was appropriate? It wasn't even a date.

    Get to know her first before you think about making moves.
    I honestly don't know. Something that atleast shows some affection towards her. In my head it feels like I sat there for 2 hours like a compelete moron.

  10. #9
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    Thanks for all the reponses. I do want to ask her in person, do you think that is appropriate at work if I wait for the right moment (after work and/or after our weekly work drink)?

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I have a different approach to work-related issues. Depending on your work environment and where you see your career going/how serious you are about it, consider your actions from there. An internship in general doesn't mean that you are expected to goof off, flirt or sleep around. Remember, that the people you meet in this industry will remember your track record and dependability in the work place. Regardless of what you think about yourself, your peers will be associating with you for a long time. You can make or break opportunities all on your own. I'd discourage bad habits early on.

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