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Thread: Attracted to another man....

  1. #31
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    When you fantasize about the two of you leaving your current partners to be together (and I know you do), how do you envision it all working out? Does your fantasy include his devastated partner and child? Do you just gloss over the part where you have to tell your husband that #1, you've been having an affair and #2, you are divorcing him for the other guy? How about all the families, do you pretend no one will be hurt?

    You do realize no matter how much you crush on and fantasize about the other man he hasn't said he wants you too.

    Is this really worth losing everything?

  2. #32
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    Lets be real here. You like the attention and don't want it to stop so you are here basically asking if it okay to keep texting this guy. By the way you need to admit to yourself the reason you admitted you had feelings for him is because you hoped he felt the same way and would tell you as much.

    The answer is NO it is not okay. Why? Because you have a crush on him and are hiding this "friendship" from your husband.

    You know this is wrong so it is all on you. If your husband had a female "friend" he had a crush on and liked the attention you would be pissed.

    You are already emotionally cheating so if you want to physically cheat you will do like all cheaters do and find some excuse or justification. There is NEVER a good reason to stray and turning your emotions towards another man is not helping your marriage at all.

    Do the right thing and tell this guy the contact needs to stop.

    Lost

  3. #33
    Bronze Member Camber 2019's Avatar
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    This situation would never have even started if both of you were happy in your current relationships. But you both have (even if distant and fleeting) thoughts of how "fun" it would be with someone else...

    It's that simple.

    STOP! You are playing with fire!
    Last edited by Camber 2019; 04-25-2019 at 12:13 PM.

  4. #34
    Silver Member Betterwithout's Avatar
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    Attraction is a wonderful thing isn't it?
    Feels great to be appreciated, noticed, complimented.

    This is one of those situations where you have to put yourself in your husbands shoes.
    Would you be happy and supportive of him texting a co-worker every night and flirting with her at work?

    Have you considered that your relationship with your husband is the first problem you should tackle?

    If you are looking for justification for your actions, you've come to the wrong place.
    The decisions you make are yours and you have to own them.

    Remember: being "friendly with co-worker" can turn into "flirting with co-worker" can turn into "f$#!ng with co-worker"

    Please do all four of you a favor and see a marriage therapist. Better than an attorney, no?

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  6. #35
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Replied in your identical thread: [Register to see the link]

  7. #36
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Threads have been merged.

  8. #37
    Bronze Member EternalOptimis's Avatar
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    You are having an AFFAIR!
    That you ask "Is the guy interested in me as more than friends?" sounds like you very much want the answer to be yes.
    If you're not comfortable sharing details of your "friendship" with your husband, whom you claim to love, then it is not a friendship.
    You may want to look into why you are looking outside and whether you want to stay married.

  9. #38
    Bronze Member wgmitch's Avatar
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    I'm not married and have only been dating my GF for just over a year. I have posted here about how I think she is cheating on me and for the most part it seems to be all on her phone. It is making me sick to my stomach.

    So if the tables were turned and your wonderful husband was texting another woman in the middle of the night even just friendly little pick me ups, like you describe, are you okay with that? You are not showing your husband what you are doing, right? You are hiding things from your husband because he will be upset, so I would think. This is deceitful. That's not what marriage or relationships are about. They are built on respect, trust, communication and respect. Did I mention respect? Respect yourself and your husband. Go to counseling for whatever is missing or ailing your relationship with your husband, but don't resort to cheating. If that doesn't work get a divorce and let him find someone that respects him. Hard truth there right?

    Please, don't cheat. Someone, most likely you, will be very hurt in the end.

    Mitch

  10. #39
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    He's texting you at 23.00 because that's probably when his partner is sleeping. If you don't want to cheat on your husband and you respect him, then stop the messaging him and if possible change instructors.

  11. #40
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    Yep you are an having an emotional affair with this married man. How will your husband feel when he finds out? Or If is was reversed and he was doing everything you are, would you be as accepting? Stop it now and open communication with husband. Keep your work friends for work. You could loose your job as well.
    Last edited by Buffer01; 06-26-2019 at 06:32 PM. Reason: Spelling

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