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Thread: Feeling bad for snapping at Ex?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    This little dance you two have been doing has been going on from at least February. I told you this, then:
    Block him: Cold turkey withdrawl while you rehab from your addiction to him. He doesn't love you and frankly, if you think about it, you don't love him either. He's a sociopathic mind eff. Know it and act accordingly.

    If you're not in therapy then consider getting yourself a good one who can help you though your withdrawl from him and guide you to start loving yourself enough to know your better off without him in your life.
    Have you thought anymore about getting the therapy that will help you stop dancing with this guy?

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    This little dance you two have been doing has been going on from at least February. I told you this, then: Have you thought anymore about getting the therapy that will help you stop dancing with this guy?
    I'm in therapy over it and I've actually been doing well until he randomly reappeared in my atmosphere again and now the work is unraveling I guess. I feel like I'm rebuilding and then it gets thrown apart again and I have to start over. I've started over about 2 times already

  3. #13
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    I don't know about immature, but maybe just not completely honest.

    And that's okay. Sometimes we need to poke the bear a few times—or drink the toxic drink—to really get tired of the outcome.

    How do you stop all this? Well, it's easy. You just decide to stop it.

    Some people block, delete, erase photos to help with the stopping. Some people do not. That's simply a preference thing, but the stopping it, in the end, is just a decision you make.

    In your shoes, I'd make it right now, for real.

  4. #14
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by rchubn
    I'm in therapy over it and I've actually been doing well until he randomly reappeared in my atmosphere again and now the work is unraveling I guess. I feel like I'm rebuilding and then it gets thrown apart again and I have to start over. I've started over about 2 times already
    Clearly therapy isn't working. You may need to try a different therapist, or several different ones until you find someone who CAN help you, because clearly, the one you have now is not working out (imo).

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Well, how many sessions have you had with this particular therapist. It may just be a matter of upping your sessions. The fact that you haven't blocked him in all ways is what is causing you to regress in your recovery from him so make it so he can't reach you in anyway if you don't yet have the strength in resolve to keep him out of your life.

    You have to have the resolve that you are better off being alone then with someone you are toxic with. If you don't have the acceptance and resolve then you will 100% need to block in all ways in order to get to the stage of indifference to him. Getting to the stage of Indifference to him should be your end goal now.

  7. #16
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    I don't see a problem with what he did when you were splitting up regarding talking to the other girl, in fact he was very open and honest about that and he did nt need to be but everything that came before that was just nuts. The constant blocking whilst in a relatiosnhsip etc.

    It's obvious you care about one another in some way but it should also be obvious this is not going to work and you have both admitted that. I would just keep him blocked and move on with your life.

  8. #17
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    Why haven't you blocked this guy?!?! Why do you do this to yourself?

  9. #18
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    Originally Posted by rchubn
    I feel guilty for snapping and I almost want to message him and just see if he's okay. He caught me at a bad time.

    Is this the whole "wounded bird" tactic? Is he trying to come back to me all weak as a way to draw me back in or is he in need of actual help and feels like he has no one in his life?
    To see if he is "okay?" He doesn't care. He is dating someone else

    I thought he was abusive. Don't understand why you haven't cut him off?

  10. #19
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Ok reset all your social media privacy settings. Delete and block him and all his people from all your messaging apps and social media. Once you do this you'll stop the madness of this contact and start feeling better. In the meantime, make sure your life is full and busy and consider short term therapy to unpack and sort all this out and get a handle on all the anger. This is still toxic. Unless you help yourself you will stay stuck in this toxicity.
    Originally Posted by rchubn
    "yeah well I dont anymore. You're probably only messaging me because your other situation flopped which is another reason why you're a peice of sh*t so now you're trying to circle back and trying reenter my life and mess with me. Get help. I don't have anything to say to you. Please don't contact me again or I wont be nice."

  11. #20
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    Google codependency.

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