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Thread: My ex gf has slept with someone while we were broken up

  1. #1
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    My ex gf has slept with someone while we were broken up

    Iíve really been struggling the past 3-4 months. My ex who I love deeply and I think I will never find another connection like we had. Slept with someone I would say 2 weeks ago. They had been seeing each other for two weeks. Before all of that I broke up with her in 4 months ago in December. I was really unhappy and was not challenging myself. I knew I still loved her because I grieved after the break up and I never do that. I really didnít do anything to better myself and for 3 months we talked/hung out and I treated her very poorly because I was still upset with myself and I was trying to get over things from the past. I made her feel unwanted and did things I regret. I even thought about being with another girl to see if I really did love her. I ended up only hanging out with one girl and all I could think about was her. I shouldíve knew then. Anyway, she went on spring break with friends and I apologized when she was there saying I am sorry for everything and I want to work on things. She came back and told me itís over. She said she was too scared I would break her heart and do things to hurt her all over again. She also said she didnít trust me so I bettered myself but I thought there was another guy. This week we talked and tried to figure things out. She says she loves me and misses me. She says she regrets it and it did not make her happy. Iím trying to get this out of my head, her being with another guy. Itís killing me. We agreed to have no contact for a month and come back to it. Be faithful to each other while having no contact. I just want to know if I can get over her being with another guy. I canít get it out of my head. I love her so much and we both get each other on a different level. We both think we are soulmates and our meant for each other just the timing sucks.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Can I ask how old you guys are? That will inform my response a bit.

  3. #3
    Gold Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    From the outset it seems like you've got a lot of healing to do (from whatever issues you had before the relationship and now including this issue of her being with someone else). You're not ready to date, Kyle. Call a spade a spade and don't be afraid to put dating on pause. I think you're panicking and reacting to terrible anxieties. There's always a little awkwardness upon finding out your ex is sleeping with someone else or intimate with someone else or has moved on. It's like walking in on your parents having sex. No one wants to see or know about it. You're not alone there.

    Try and be mature about it and let this go. You made mistakes so learn from them and move forwards. It's not going to do anyone any favours at this point getting back together or prolonging that awkwardness. Be kind to each other and let each other go.

  4. #4
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    Iím in my early 20ís and so is she.

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  6. #5
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    I broke up with her in 4 months ago in December.
    Slept with someone I would say 2 weeks ago
    You broke up with her. She was free to do what she wanted.

    I just want to know if I can get over her being with another guy
    You dumped her, 3.5 months later she slept with another guy.

    So yes you can, because she didn't do anything wrong. It is a consequence of your actions.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    I just want to know if I can get over her being with another guy.
    If you are actually in love with her and not just wanting her because you're going through the natural grieving process of no longer having her in your life, then you would be able to put what she did while single, behind you.

    Its not been that long of a time to facilitate you growing up and being able to NOT take out your issues on her. What have you done to grow from the man that treated her poorly other than grieve the breakup which makes you think she is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with? If you get back together and you are still unhappy with yourself then the same issues are going to crop up and the same outcome as well.

  8. #7
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    I was going to leave a reply but then saw what Rose Mosse said. I agree with that sentiment.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    Pretty big rule of thumb is if you don't want someone seeing or banging other people, don't dump them.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    She's free to do whatever she wants with whoever she wants it you're not together, so you have to deal with it. Also I don't get being broken up and in no contact and agree to be faithful to each other. You're not in a relationship and therefor who you two are with or not are not each other's business.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    What Annia said.

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