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Thread: Worst Breakup - I went homeless. Does He Deserve A Second Chance? Aquarius Guy

  1. #71
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    Let's keep in mind too that this thread has gone on for 7 pages...many people have tried to give great advice, and to some degree people felt they might be getting through.
    Then OP admits that shes glad she hit her bf.

    Hard for anyone to care after she does that. She's been very insulting.

    I think most have the attitude like her ex's mother...bye, won't miss you.
    Sherry do you think you might be taking the side of the mother as a mother of sons.

    I'm not coming at you accusatory, just....how could you think in any way shape or form it was ok for the mom to pack up the ex girlfriends belongings? Remember this was before she slapped him, but even if it was after, hes a grown man, he cant handle packing up his ex girlfriends things he has to get his mom? Thats not a signal that maybe he was fanning the flames...I mean isnt her involving a friend seen as wrong? Come on....

    I think its gross and boundary crossing for a mother to pack up an ex girlfriends belongings without her consent, I think its gross and boundary crossing for her to put her hands on him, man or woman wrong is wrong. The police were called,why not have police escort her in to get her stuff and get out and if he took it that far, why interact with her drunk and outside of his home after the police escorted her away, especially if she had a history of being combative, and I wouldn't be talking to the friend about reconciliation...again...come on...

    I think most would have the attitude of...those two are insane, its like watching a slow moving train wreck..yikes...I am not getting in the middle of all that... they need to get away from eachother...

    But thats neither here nor there because I'm saying the same things everyone else is saying, Im just adding the ex boyfriends crazy too. I keep saying I don't think anything she did was right, I keep saying, I don't feel I'm being coddling to her, I've seen coddling posts, I'm being critical. She ABSOLUTELY is being destructive, couldn't agree with you more, that doesn't mean her ex isn't one flew over the coo coo nest himself. Broken seeks Broken, no man with a healthy sense of self and healthy boundaries with his mother would go anywhere near her. I don't know why me acknowledging that is seen as so off the wall. They both thrived in this crazy making behavior and apparently he wants some more... again why is this blatantly obvious things so odd to point out?

    Why is me saying a regular poster accusing her of being a drug addict is out of line, seen as out of line?

    Her proclaiming he deserves to get hit and posters agreeing with that, well that's not me, please differentiate.

    This is me, this was my first post on this thread:

    Originally Posted by figureitout23
    To answer the title question, no I would not allow someone who left me homeless back into my life

    I donít know that Iíd define what he did as that but no I wouldnít.

    Is this America? If so Iím shocked the police had you leave, itís illegal to just kick a tenant out even if you didnít have an agreement with the apartment, you were his significant other, there are legal steps that would have needed to be taken, but thatís neither here nor there since after all that you put your hands on him. He had the right after that.

    I can see that he was wrong in overly including his mother in your relationship and had some communication issues but you did too so unfortunately it was two people who lacked the proper coping and communication skills to make it through conflicts.

    Itís probably best to let sleeping dogs lie.

    I would however look into some sort of therapy for yourself to learn proper communication and coping. Putting your hands on someone is never ok and while I completely understand you wanting to follow your culture, if someone has a different culture he isnít necessarily required to follow yours. Respect it, yes, follow unfortunately it has to be a mutual agreement and it seems he was just placating you instead of embracing your culture so again unfortunately it seems to just be a bad match. Plus he lied to you about major things like his dating history. This relationship is a complete no go.
    Another quote...

    Originally Posted by figureitout23
    I personally think thereís a huge difference between an angry threat during an argument which he was also guilty of

    And kicking out a woman in a foreign land.

    Courts would agree with me too.

    What he did was illegal. Hitting him was illegal too so Iím not saying sheís innocent

    But I canít imagine being kicked out of my home in that manner, childish immature or not.

    BUT this is why I always say donít play relationship chicken.

    Heís still a monster for doing that in my opinion.

    The dudes a lying abusive mamas boy and the OPers an immature entitled princess...bad match but neither is innocent

    Neither one of you is innocent OPer PLEASE remember that! He lied to you, he left you homesless....he is a non starter. You are not innocent. You Need help but PLEASE donít let anyone convince you heís an angel.
    Last edited by figureitout23; 04-20-2019 at 01:42 AM.

  2. #72
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    No, I'm seeing it from the side of someone who has been physically and emotionally abused.

  3. #73
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    No, I'm seeing it from the side of someone who has been physically and emotionally abused.
    Been there too. So I can clearly see how crazy making behavior can cause someone to act irrationally.

    Doesnt make it right. Doesnt make her right, doesnt make him right.

    She should seek therapy, I said that though, many times actually...still not seeing where the disconnect is but....

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