emotions run my life

Have a really hard time with being positive and managing my emotions.

Have addictions as a result and the emotionality does not resolve easily due to addiction issues.

I get better with age, and stabilizing factors in my life....

Supportive relationship, healthy adult children, a small business...

I often dig deeply on youtube into very dark social/political issues that makes my blood boil...

then I can't even be normal at all for days until I swear off the youtube digging...

I have PTSD and the therapist says this "news" habit is a way to maintain the familiar state of feeling traumatized...

I realize that life isn't a big party all the time but no one with this many blessings should be nearly suffering all the time.

Any thoughts on how to bring serenity and emotional regulation?

Since youtube gets you riled up, steer clear of the Internet since it ends up as a time trap.

I've found what gives me a break from electronics and people is to exercise and immerse into hobbies. A reasonable, active social life is a great break from youtube / Internet. Meet a friend for lunch on a regular basis every month or rotate friends every week for an outing whether a meal or a walk. In the past, I exercised my Golden Retriever when she was alive (she died 3 months ago) and nowadays, I do old-fashioned but enjoyable activities. Go to the library and borrow books and good movies. Take good care of your health with diet and exercise. It helps change your brain and mindset. You'll become a serene, peaceful person. You'll think more and talk less which will give you serenity and peace of mind. There is a strong healthy body, healthy mind connection.

Whenever I don't take good care of myself, I become extremely negative, argumentative, irritable, emotional and unintelligent. I don't think things through such as harsh consequences. When you're clearheaded, you'll become smarter, shrewder and more prudent with all you do. You think long and hard as opposed to acting impulsively and dealing with regrets later.

I have PTSD and the therapist says this "news" habit is a way to maintain the familiar state of feeling traumatized...

 

Any thoughts on how to bring serenity and emotional regulation?

What does your therapist suggest? Surely, as they are aware of these issues, they would suggest "how to bring serenity and emotional regulation"? If not, then ask your therapist?

That said, Cherylyn's post is very helpful. Great post.

Whatever's happened to you in the past, you just have to forgive yourself and let it go. Seeing a therapist, calling it this or that isn't going to help you in the long term(frankly these just sound like coping mechanisms and bandaid solutions). Forgive yourself and let go of the past. Stop reliving it and tell yourself that part of your life is over.

Make an appt with your doctor to treat your addictions and mood disorders. Stop wasting time getting angry at youtube nonsense and engaging in activities that make you feel worse. Choose wisely what type of things you spend your time on.

Have addictions as a result and the emotionality does not resolve easily due to addiction issues.

I often dig deeply on youtube into very dark social/political issues that makes my blood boil.

I so appreciate your thoughtful response and thoughts.

I am a yoga instructor and eat a plant based diet..so hear you

loud and clear about mind/body.

Funny thing is a couple times a month, I have this terrible pattern to resorting to

using not a huge amount, but still, opiates, as a "reward or a secret"or just a plain old habit.

Without fail, it undermines my well being; yet, it does not stop the pattern.

I have been to twelve step programs til they are coming out of my ears...

I guess the real difficulty is the mysterious urge to work against myself.

Is this a chat room?

I have never found anything like this before but really like the format.

Maybe I am afraid to feel good. Sounds weird...

Maybe you need a new/different therapist because the one you are with now clearly isn't working (imo). Whatever is going on it seems to be very deep rooted and the only way to go is intense therapy. You need professional help.