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Thread: I found out my boy is bi sexual

  1. #1
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    I found out my boy is bi sexual

    He didn’t tell me. I went through his phone and found ims back and forth with him and another guy. The conversation he had with this man literally knocked me off my feet. I laid on the bathroom floor crying and screaming for hours then I panicked and I started thinking about whether I had hiv or aids. Thoughts just started coming from everywhere I wanted to throw up 🤢 but all I could do was gag nothing would come up he pryed his way into the bathroom where I was at on the floor and started trying to talk to me and trying to comfort me. He lied so good all this time people were telling me he was gay I felt like he was too by the way he acted his mannerisms the way he talks dance etc... I had signs but I ignored them due to the fact that he would always have a believable explanation for it. I wanted to believe him.... now I’m distraught. I don’t know whether I’m coming or going I keep waking up hoping it’s a dream. I feel so alone and I have no one I can share this with to get input or advice due to embarrassment... he cried and cried and we cried together he promised me he would change his behavior and he says he doesn’t want to be this way it’s just hard for him to fight it. He says he has known every since he was 13 and now he’s 26... he says he never went all the way with a man but that he is attracted to both men and women. He says he likes to see how far he can go with the men but he’s never kissed a man he’s never touched male penis other than his own and he’s never had intercourse with a man but he is attracted to them...somebody help me please I’m dying just trying to write this....

  2. #2
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    First of all, HIV is more common among heterosexuals, so it may be time that you educate yourself on protection and use condoms.

    I am sorry for what you are going through, but your post is very offensive towards gays (the way they talk, dance and act). If you thought he acted so "gay" then why did you date him?

    He cannot change his behavior, as this is who he is.

    Bottom line, the guy cheated on you and is into dudes. Either you accept that he is bi, or possible gay, and a cheater/liar, or you end it.

    You need to walk away.

  3. #3
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    My boyfriend is bi sexual and I just found out after 6 months of dating

    I appreciate your response. I wasnt intending to offend gay people I was only trying to express how I felt in that moment. As a heterosexual woman we can all attest to the fact that we look for certain signs to detect whether there is gayness or something because lets be honest here people be undercover all the time and when they lie about their sexuality it takes away your right to decide whether u want to deal with them any further. Like I said he lied to me I dont /wont judge him based on who he cheated with he cheated period thats all and I feel cheated because I gave him opportunities to come out. I told him he acted feminine during pillow yall and he said itd because he was raised by his mom and grandma. I left it at that. All he seemed worried about was whether I was going to out him to the world. U have no idea what Ive been through in the past two days so please dont come at me harshly because I am not politically correct when speaking about gays I dont know the codes or the lingo or how supposed to talk about it so if u cant help me then dont comment. I asked for help not nobody in their feelings to be telling me how I should talk about the gay community I dont have time for that I need real advice. I felt anger I felt confused I felt sad for him because hes so afraid. I stayed with him I didnt leave his side I held him as he cried about it. I told him that I didnt judge him. I told him that it was just a very small insignificant part of him and that it wasnt a big deal and I told him I love him no matter what he chooses to do nothing can change my love for him which is true I am in love with him I cant just walk away I just dont know how to be sorta speak moving forward... if hes interested in men I can never be that so god help me how can I ever please him
    Last edited by lostaf123; 05-30-2019 at 02:48 PM. Reason: I left out important details

  4. #4
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    It doesnt make people gay because of who they are raised by. That is a stereotype.

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  6. #5
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    Originally Posted by lostaf123
    I appreciate your response. I wasnt intending to offend gay people I was only trying to express how I felt in that moment. As a heterosexual woman we can all attest to the fact that we look for certain signs to detect whether there is gayness or something because lets be honest here people be undercover all the time and when they lie about their sexuality it takes away your right to decide whether u want to deal with them any further. Like I said he lied to me I dont /wont judge him based on who he cheated with he cheated period thats all and I feel cheated because I gave him opportunities to come out. I told him he acted feminine during pillow yall and he said itd because he was raised by his mom and grandma. I left it at that. All he seemed worried about was whether I was going to out him to the world. U have no idea what Ive been through in the past two days so please dont come at me harshly because I am not politically correct when speaking about gays I dont know the codes or the lingo or how supposed to talk about it so if u cant help me then dont comment. I asked for help not nobody in their feelings to be telling me how I should talk about the gay community I dont have time for that I need real advice
    I had to say something, as there are gay posters, and we should always be sensitive to our audience.

    The bottom line is, is that he cheated and lied. If you had not snooped, he would not have been honest with you. How do you not know that he is not lying, now? You need to end this.

    You should also be using condoms, no matter the sexual orientation. Be smarter. Get tested. Who knows how many people he has been with.

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    Please leave him. he is a liar and a cheat. And get tested for STDs. I would not believe him for a second if someone says "i have done everything with them, except...." He does it because he likes it. He does not sexually desire you as his one and only. And don't look back.

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    It doesnt make people gay because of who they are raised by. That is a stereotype.
    I laughed when I read that.

    OP, you can get your thread deleted for inappropriate comments.

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    Don't worry about who you offend - these are your emotions and you have the right to speak them.

    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    It doesnt make people gay because of who they are raised by. That is a stereotype.
    HE is the one who said it was because who he was raised by. Those are not her words.

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    Don't worry about who you offend - these are your emotions and you have the right to speak them.



    HE is the one who said it was because who he was raised by. Those are not her words.
    And, she believed it.

  11. #10
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    I edited it please re read

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