Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 3 of 3 FirstFirst 123
Results 21 to 30 of 30

Thread: Messaging and cheating?

  1. #21
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2019
    Posts
    12
    I'd accept an answer versus I don't know

  2. #22
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Central Canada
    Posts
    13,539
    Gender
    Female
    I think you wouldn't accept anything he told you as the truth. You may just let it go until the next time you suspect him of not being exclusive though.

    Have you been to his home or does he always go to your place?

  3. #23
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2019
    Posts
    12
    I mostly went to his place. Now he's moved all his stuff into my house since he'll mostly be on the road. I also have his dog who I love/hate. She bit me twice! But she's his baby.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Central Canada
    Posts
    13,539
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by suesullivan1
    I mostly went to his place. Now he's moved all his stuff into my house since he'll mostly be on the road. I also have his dog who I love/hate. She bit me twice! But she's his baby.
    I hope you figure out if you're going to be able to trust and relax. He's going to be on the road for two weeks at a time you'll have to lose your fear that he's stepping out on you or you're going to drive yourself into a tizzy with fear and anxiety over it. Does he show you in tangible actions that he loves and values being with you?

  5.  

  6. #25
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2019
    Posts
    12
    He tries but he's not romantic. Doesn't show his feelings. Describes himself as self absorbed.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Central Canada
    Posts
    13,539
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by suesullivan1
    He tries but he's not romantic. Doesn't show his feelings. Describes himself as self absorbed.
    What keeps you with him and now blending your lives from the same abode? Are you sure you want to live with him or are your insecurities causing you all this anxiety?

  8. #27
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2019
    Posts
    12
    I am not sure. Yes my insecurities are causing the mistrust. He knows I am insecure so I guess I want him to be more sensitive to that. We've talked about that and I've asked him to be more supportive. I'm supportive of him. I still think an answer of "I don't know" is strange and lame. Not like I was asking him what he wanted for dinner. It is what it is. I do appreciate all the feedback to put things in perspective

  9. #28
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Central Canada
    Posts
    13,539
    Gender
    Female
    Wow you are hanging onto that bone of "I don't know" like a junk yard dog on a trespassers pant cuff. :)

    How come you can't just accept that answer about a silly text when you yourself answered similarly as to what keeps you with him? ;)
    "I am not sure." was your response.

    You know I have no data plan on my Iphone so unless I am in Wifi somewhere my Imessages go through as a text message BUT when I get back into a wifi situation, they repeat and the Hubby (or whoever) will get the same message as an Imessage... Perhaps that is what happened to him?

  10. 04-13-2019, 01:36 AM

  11. #29
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2019
    Posts
    12
    Wow. It is good to see humor in situations.

  12. #30
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    22,056
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by suesullivan1
    I'd accept an answer versus I don't know
    Maybe that IS his answer.

    I can't explain 'why' I've done some mindless things like reaching to take a medication twice or returning to shut off a coffee pot that I've already washed and put away. I've reposted to the same topic in this forum after returning from grabbing a drink. I've moved to start a car that was already running. I sometimes look for glasses I've already put on my face.

    This isn't to explain his behavior, but rather, it can demonstrate that not all behavior is explainable. It may be too much to expect of someone to have a pat answer ready to explain behaviors that were automatic to begin with.

    None of this means that your gut is wrong or right, but you get to decide whether holding a tight stomach over someone is how you want to live. Nobody's crystal ball can tell you whether the guy is trustworthy. You are the one who knows him well enough to have invested in him--and that's why you're the only one who can weigh whether this relationship pays off for you, or not.

    Speaking only for myself, I'm not LDR material. This doesn't speak of how wonderful a distant person may be, it only speaks of my own limits. The distance thing doesn't allow me to bond in a way that satisfies me, so I tend to be an out-of-sight-out-of-mind person, which would cause me to resent not being open to bonding with someone else. So why would I want to sign on for that?

    I wouldn't base my decisions about the guy on a repeat text or his ability to explain it, but rather I'd broaden my scope to consider my overall satisfaction with the relationship itself. I might be inclined to tell the guy, "I adore you and can picture the two of us together in the future, and that's why I need to walk away while we both still think highly of one another. You get to do your LD trucking gig for as long as it suits you, and if you ever decide that close proximity to me is where you'll want to settle down, you can let me know. If I'm still available then, we can meet to catch up. Otherwise, I wish you the best, but this distance thing is not for me."

    Head high, and trust your Self.

Page 3 of 3 FirstFirst 123

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •