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Thread: Opt out

  1. #1
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    Opt out

    Do you ever get the feeling that you don't belong in this world? I just feel out of place. Alone. I'm just not really feeling it anymore. It's like I'm on autopilot 80% of the time.

  2. #2
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    I feel like that a lot of the time. It gets worse for me the later in the night that it gets. (I've already tried going to sleep.) It might be good idea to call or tect the Suicide Lifeline. Even if yu do not feel suicidal right this minute, they understand the strong relationship between depression and suicidal thoughts. Their number is

    1-800-273-8255

    You can text "Hello" to 741-741 and someone wil get back to you. Also, you can go to the there web site

    [Register to see the link]

    and search for the "Chat" button in the upper right hand corner.

    When it's not in the middle of the night (presuming it is where you are, too) I'd seek counseling or therapy with someone trusted. The Lifeline folks can help you find some resources as well

  3. #3
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    Originally Posted by Blindfoldoff
    Do you ever get the feeling that you don't belong in this world? I just feel out of place. Alone. I'm just not really feeling it anymore. It's like I'm on autopilot 80% of the time.
    Honestly? All the time. Then eventually something will snap me out of it, change my thinking or focus, or provide some kind of meaning. As Relevart said above, talking it out can help a lot, and certainly worth the effort. Sometimes it's enough to know that everybody has this at some point, whether they like to admit it or not. Life is a roller coaster with lots of twists, turns, ups and downs. The thing that helps snap me out of it the most is by either proactively helping someone in need, or if someone actually asks me for a favor, or for help. For me, that kind of gives me some meaning in my life when I start feeling like there isn't any.

    Anyway, know you aren't alone, we all get these feelings at some point. Talking to someone can help, doing something meaningful to help others can also be fulfilling and provide self-value and the realization that you do matter, you are important, and you have purpose, and impact with your actions. Often these feelings are tied to hormones, and chemical imbalances, so it may be necessary to get some additional help with that - prescription drugs, various types of therapy can be needed, and then again, for some, it's just finding a meaningful purpose that can make a difference.

    Most importantly - don't suffer in silence about it. Talk to someone. Anyone. Get help, because if it's one thing I have learned in this life, is that we all matter and the future is unknown. Today may suck, but tomorrow may be the most amazing start to a whole new experience.
    Last edited by PTPoet; 04-12-2019 at 06:19 AM.

  4. #4
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    Yes I feel like that more then I donít. I donít really fit in with anyone, I have friends but no deep connections every thing is just a surface level. Whenever Iím in a group I always get ignored I think my awkwardness makes people uncomfortable or something. I often dread weekends because thatís when I feel the loneliest especially seeing everyone else out having fun. But eventually it changes and thatís what makes it worth battling on for, nothing is permanent.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It sounds like there were way too many "ups and downs" in only 8 mos and she was not ready to date. Did she go back to her ex/son's father? Leave her alone. It's not working out. Short term therapy may help you sort some stuff out and help you reflect on what you want out of life, work, relationships, etc instead of leaving things up to chance and chaos.

    Do your best to stay busy with work, family, friends, interests, etc. Do Not Date women at work. Join some clubs, groups, take some classes courses etc. Find women in real life who you do not work with and who you have more in common with.

    Also start a self improvement plan. get in shape clean up your appearance and update your clothes etc. Get on some dating apps with good recent pics and a good profile. Start messaging and meeting women for a low key coffee. Do not jump into this type of drama again. Avoid that. Take it slow and easy this time. Date for a reason besides boredom or adrenaline highs.
    Originally Posted by Blindfoldoff
    We went out for almost eight months. Lots of love, passion, ups and downs.
    wasn't ready to be in a relationship cuz of her son
    I text her Tuesday and she says she can't talk at the moment.

  7. #6
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    It sounds like there were way too many "ups and downs" in only 8 mos and she was not ready to date. Did she go back to her ex/son's father? Leave her alone. It's not working out. Short term therapy may help you sort some stuff out and help you reflect on what you want out of life, work, relationships, etc instead of leaving things up to chance and chaos.

    Do your best to stay busy with work, family, friends, interests, etc. Do Not Date women at work. Join some clubs, groups, take some classes courses etc. Find women in real life who you do not work with and who you have more in common with.

    Also start a self improvement plan. get in shape clean up your appearance and update your clothes etc. Get on some dating apps with good recent pics and a good profile. Start messaging and meeting women for a low key coffee. Do not jump into this type of drama again. Avoid that. Take it slow and easy this time. Date for a reason besides boredom or adrenaline highs.

    I haven't tried to contact my ex since February. So I have no idea what is going on with her. She's slowly slipping away from my thoughts. Just a slump I'm going through though I think I've felt like this all my life. But yeah it is hitting harder lately. Appreciate the support from everybody.

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by Blindfoldoff
    Do you ever get the feeling that you don't belong in this world?
    There were times were I wondered what the heck I was doing in this world. And that's okay. Eventually I realised, I just need to get through this moment before I start to worry about tomorrow's ifs and buts. Deep breath. One small step at a time. Another deep breath. Then, another step.

    It's all going to be okay in the end.

  9. #8
    Bronze Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Yes, I do. After that, I begin to count my blessings and learn how to be grateful. I concentrate on good health because my negative, mentally unhealthy thoughts disappear and I become more positive and upbeat which benefits me and those around me.

    Make changes even if you must do it by force. I don't always "enjoy" dieting and exercising but I always realize the results which does wonders for a more positive outlook on life and I get along with people so much better. If I encounter difficult people, I handle situations better because my health takes top priority. Whenever I don't take good care of myself first, my dynamics with others transforms into disaster.

  10. #9

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    Try an art project...
    something super tactile..
    paper m‚chť or finger painting, make a vision board...
    collage images of all your wildest hopes and dreams..
    give self rewards for little milestones through the day/ week
    learn something new..like a recipe or something..
    please don't give up...
    I know how it feels to feel like you dont belong in the world.
    Have a water gun or water balloon fight with someone.
    be really silly...wear plaid with stripes...
    reach out to some one who seems lonely or suffering..
    It aint easy but if we get creative and choose fun; it can be easier.
    Someone once told me that it takes the same amount of energy to be happy or sad.
    Put cold water after the hot shower!
    Jump up and down, blast favorite music and Dance, Jump around...
    good luck~ God bless!

  11. #10
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Blindfoldoff
    Just a slump I'm going through though I think I've felt like this all my life. But yeah it is hitting harder lately.
    Depression can make you feel as though you've 'always' felt this way. It's a tunnel that narrows your vision to only 'this'.

    Grief is natural after a breakup. You may find it helpful to research the 5 stages of grief: denial, bargaining, anger, depression and acceptance. These aren't neat and linear stages that you can plot and measure where you are in the healing process, but rather, they're a mish-mosh of cycles that blend and keep coming around until you've worked them through. A therapist or social worker can help you navigate and offer techniques you can try out to learn what might be helpful. The main point about these cycles is that they can make you feel crazy and damaged, but they are universal to all forms of grief.

    I can also appreciate that being left hanging with no explanation is rough. One thing to understand about recovery is that most programs teach their clients that they are far from relationship material for at least a year. You knew her during her most messed-up state, and there's nothing that anyone can do to help someone who needs to recover on their own. It might also be helpful to research addictions or attend some AlaNon meetings to learn why even the most loving partners and family members can get cut off from a person in recovery--it's often what they need to do.

    Meanwhile, your own recovery from grief is no picnic, either. This doesn't make you a freak--it just feels that way. Nobody has a problem hiring a plumber, a lawyer, a tax expert to help with practical matters, but what could be more practical than your quality of life? Consider reaching out for some expert help, whether by way of a hotline, a support group, a counselor or a therapist--people who are trained in this stuff to help other people through it.

    Head high, you can do this.

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