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Thread: Right to be concerned by first dateís behaviour?

  1. #11
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    Yikes! Just keep blocking and keep the messages especially if they get threatening. Thatís the advice I got on here about the crazy guys I dated who wouldnít leave me alone. Luckily I never had to go to the police.

    Hopefully he gets the hint and wonít keep contacting you.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Yup he sounds like a nut case. Leave him blocked, never respond. Does he know where you live?

  3. #13
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    To be honest, I think you were actually being too polite and too subtle. After you already told him in a nice way that you were not interested in him, I think there was no need to reply any further. Like, when he invited you to a sports game, I think it was fine not to reply. Then when he kept texting you, I think you could have actually said to him something like: "Please stop contacting me, I don't wish to speak to you further." So that it's written down that you asked him to stop. Then if he continues to message you, you can say that you will call the police because he's harassing you. But really after that first date when you rejected him, I think it was fine to block him straight away after that. He sounds really weird and even disturbed.

  4. #14
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    Fortunately he doesnít know where I live. When he asked me on a second date he offered to pick me up from my house (I knew already I wasnít going to go on a second date but even if I was there was no way I was going to let him know my address so soon).

    My social media footprint is also virtually non-existent which will make it a lot harder for him to track me down. As soon as he started talking my gut told me something was off.

    Iíve gone on quite a few dating app dates and heís the first weirdo Iíve met from it.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    You did the right thing deleting and blocking him on all social media and messaging apps. Way too many red flags.
    Originally Posted by Koala2018
    He ranted about his ex girlfriend whilst telling me repeatedly he was over her, that he was suing her best friend, and that his boss had made him get tested for being a psychopath.

  7. #16
    On a dating site you can meet a worse person. Why do we need dating sites? Why you just can not meet on the street?

  8. #17
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    Concerned as in plenty of reasons not to see him again? Sure.

    But as FIO said, 99.9% chance the dude's harmless, even if a bit creepy. In fact, most people are. Very, very slim chance you'd become a statistic. Don't be afraid to assert boundaries as you did.

    And at the risk of coming off borderline victim-blaming, don't assert too hard. I actually think you did just fine. Should you be able to tell a guy off? Sure. Are the odds overwhelmingly that nothing would happen? Sure. Is there any benefit to doing it over simply wearing a smile and blocking them later? Probably not. If you don't have to poke a bear, don't. FWIW, it's a rule I live by as well. Lots of crazy ladies out there just the same.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Koala2018
    Fortunately he doesnít know where I live. When he asked me on a second date he offered to pick me up from my house (I knew already I wasnít going to go on a second date but even if I was there was no way I was going to let him know my address so soon).

    My social media footprint is also virtually non-existent which will make it a lot harder for him to track me down. As soon as he started talking my gut told me something was off.

    Iíve gone on quite a few dating app dates and heís the first weirdo Iíve met from it.
    Yeah, let it go. It's just one rotten apple. It doesn't mean they're all like that. I met my husband on a dating app. No big deal. Being as busy as we are there's no way we would have met otherwise and I altered the settings like nobody's business. I will admit that you do need to know yourself and screen screen screen like a mf.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Koala2018
    Fortunately he doesnít know where I live. When he asked me on a second date he offered to pick me up from my house (I knew already I wasnít going to go on a second date but even if I was there was no way I was going to let him know my address so soon).

    My social media footprint is also virtually non-existent which will make it a lot harder for him to track me down. As soon as he started talking my gut told me something was off.

    Iíve gone on quite a few dating app dates and heís the first weirdo Iíve met from it.
    Then thereís virtually no concern here.

    I guess I kinda understand being shaken up, but to be brutally honest if you canít handle weirdos ( not everyone can) online dating isnít for you. Itís is unfortunately kinda by design incredibly risky, you are meeting a stranger after all, if after taking the correct precautions, which it sounds like you did, youíre still freaked out, you may just simply not have the stomach for it and thatís ok! Itís not for everyone. Overly eager, unhinged and at times a little crazy men and women is just part of online dating, Heck life... if you donít trust your own boundaries, take a break. Iím not trying to seem harsh or as jman said victim blame but girl... this is taking up way more mental energy than it should...

  11. #20
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    Next time, your 1st date should be a phone call. You can learn a lot bantering back and forth on the phone and seeing if they speak human, and can have a normal conversation. I mean, you don't call it a date, but it beats having to get dolled up for a dud.

  12. 04-14-2019, 10:30 AM

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