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Thread: Want to leave husband but don't want to break his heart and hurt our son

  1. #11
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    He's not your best friend -a best friend would never describe the best friend as passive, evasive and ignorant as you did. You remind me of certain married/coupled friends who acted all smug married/coupled when I was single -all their "family" activities, how they were part of the married club, etc- when in reality it was all a farce. It's easier to live as a family/married couple -but it's not fair to him or your son. He's a "wonderful man" and he deserves a wife who admires, respects and loves him.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I'm not sure about friendly but there is such a thing as acceptance by both parties at the end. It may take some time and that's what separation is for. Being physically apart will give both of you more time to think about whether divorce is right for the two of you. There can be emotions to work through but I think in the end you shouldn't have to feel shorted or like you're missing something in your life. Both of you will heal in your own way.
    Last edited by Rose Mosse; 04-11-2019 at 01:33 PM.

  3. #13
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    My wife left me when my kids were 14 and 15. It's a horrible time to leave a father without ghis children and children without their father. High school is hard enough as it is, but by all means, go for it since you don't feel a spark, your kids be damned. Honestly, women like you and my ex are why I need to get a dog and stay away from dating anyone.

  4. #14
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    JV, I told him that I wanted out, that I could not live like this anymore. He put every guilt trip on me imaginable, but fortunately I had a great support system of friends.

    The last thing he told me before he moved out was, "You're going to be a very lonely old woman."

    HA!!! That didn't turn out to be true. Many years later, I found the love of my life.

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  6. #15
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    Relevart, I learned that kids can survive a divorce very well as long as they know they're loved by both parties.

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by JValentine
    Is there such a think as a friendly amicable divorce? Help :(
    No. don't fool yourself. My ex and I agreed to a "friendly divorce" which translates to her saying "Let's save money and I'll just screw you for everything that means anything to you, most especially our children." I realized that way too late.

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    He's not your best friend -a best friend would never describe the best friend as passive, evasive and ignorant as you did. You remind me of certain married/coupled friends who acted all smug married/coupled when I was single -all their "family" activities, how they were part of the married club, etc- when in reality it was all a farce. It's easier to live as a family/married couple -but it's not fair to him or your son. He's a "wonderful man" and he deserves a wife who admires, respects and loves him.
    I was just explaining a few bad points he has. Nobodies perfect! I have bad points too. To be fair you're right, he's not my best friend, I cant talk to him about anything and everything, because he's not listening and doesn't care anyway.

    Ha! Smug! Odd. I had an unplanned child at 18, I did not plan on a family unit to be smug about to unmarried people!

    I deserve a man who respects me. I do not get that currently.

  9. #18
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    Originally Posted by SarahLancaster
    Relevart, I learned that kids can survive a divorce very well as long as they know they're loved by both parties.
    True. But it's not about just the kids. This will sound selfish, but I lost perhaps the ost important years with my kids because my ex found another man for herself. Weekends and occassional dinners just are not that great for the non-custodial parent. I'm guessing you were the one with custody, so I don't expect you to understand

    And kids, especially high school age, learn very quickly how to play the parents against one another and usually the one with custody wins.

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by relevart
    My wife left me when my kids were 14 and 15. It's a horrible time to leave a father without ghis children and children without their father. High school is hard enough as it is, but by all means, go for it since you don't feel a spark, your kids be damned. Honestly, women like you and my ex are why I need to get a dog and stay away from dating anyone.
    Cheers for that. Thanks

    My sons father would be welcome here whenever he wanted. I would never stop that. Ever.

  11. #20
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    Originally Posted by SarahLancaster
    JV, I told him that I wanted out, that I could not live like this anymore. He put every guilt trip on me imaginable, but fortunately I had a great support system of friends.

    The last thing he told me before he moved out was, "You're going to be a very lonely old woman."

    HA!!! That didn't turn out to be true. Many years later, I found the love of my life.
    Thank you xx

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