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Thread: Movergroover

  1. #11
    Get off that dating site so you can't see him. It's just torturing you. Trust me though you've dogded a very ugly bullet. If this is the kind of person he is he will never hold down a relationship for long and when he gets older and decides he wants to settle down, no one will want to know because of his reputation. He will end up alone at this rate. Men like him usually do. I have a colleague like him. He's married but he thinks he's gods gift and can have any woman he wants. And he does sleep with other women too. As he got older though he couldn't get that kind of interest anymore. Your ex will burn out one day.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Although it's huge disappointments, at least you found out now before you either got married or got an STD.

    The day will come where you will feel sorry for whoever dates him and you won't feel any kind of sadness, resentment, etc.

    But you're still healing and you're doing great on making smart decisions for yourself!

  3. #13
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    Yuck this situation sounds terrible... sorry you are going through this OP.

    Did you know he was emotionally unavailable when you started dating? If so, that was a clue that he would never be as invested in the relationship as you. I definitely don't think anyone anticipates being cheated on, however I think there are often clues we miss or ignore in relationships because we are hanging on so hard to the fantasy that it will work the way we want it to.

    Try to reflect objectively on the relationship and use your learnings to grow and find a better candidate for a relationship moving forward.

  4. #14
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    No I didn’t think he was emotionally unavailable he made out he wanted a relationship with me from very early on and we introduced our kids he has two and I have two. We went on holidays, spent Xmas together, endless stuff yet he was doing all this behind my back and that’s only the ones I found out about !!! Scary stuff !

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  6. #15
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    Also people are gonna start asking what happened soon ! Do I tell them the truth that he’s got a problem with coke and escorts and lying ???

  7. #16
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    No, just tell people that things didn't work out. You don't need to go into details as it's not their business.

  8. #17
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    Also people are gonna start asking what happened soon ! Do I tell them the truth that he’s got a problem with coke and escorts and lying ???

  9. #18
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    You sound pretty clear-headed, OP, and that, as they say, is not nothing. In fact, that's a lot, so give yourself a minute to just celebrate that fact of yourself. Another fact worth celebrating? A clear bill of health!

    Keep celebrating these things, these things that are you, and you'll find your self-worth increasing and your attachment to him fading. That's part of the process.

    And as Sherry said: no need to go into everything with friends. It didn't work, you wanted different things, had different values, and wish him the best—end of story. Odds are you'll come to see that as the whole story too, once you process things a bit more.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    There is always that first sting when and if you see your ex on an online dating website. Your mind spins and wonder if he'll be a better version of himself with the next woman.

    You second guess yourself for a moment or two, and then it passes.

    Couples can be somewhat like yin and yang. Different people influence different qualities in each other.

    But the bottom line here is that you two did not bring out the best in each other and what he did was a deal breaker through and through.

    The most likely case is he'll continue to do what he's been doing. In that case, you should feel bad for the next woman he snares.

    No turning back. Head high.

  11. #20
    Originally Posted by Gotowardthel
    Also people are gonna start asking what happened soon ! Do I tell them the truth that he’s got a problem with coke and escorts and lying ???
    I'd say yeah, expose the dirty rat that he is. Let people know what kind of person he is. He is giving himself a bad rep.

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