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Thread: i'm a super lazy person and i'm tired of it

  1. #1

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    i'm a super lazy person and i'm tired of it

    hello everyone english isn't my first language so please don't focus on my grammer

    i have a lot of problem in my life but the only problem that really hurt me is that i'm lazy, i'm 21 years old and since i was around the age of 14 i wanted to be a great person and to learn a lot of things then i start noticing my laziness i start notice that i can't do anything that isn't about having fun i was bad at school and now bad at colleage not because i'm stupid but because i can't stop my self from watching tv, browsing social media, playing video games, etc. and start opening my books and study

    I want to learn programing, video editing, first aid and a lot of other skills i'm intersted in but i can't get myself to move from "wanting" to actually learning
    now in my life when i have to do any work i'm more worrying that i will have to deal with my laziness more than the thing i'm actually going to do no matter how much that thing is hard because my laziness is always harder to deal with

    it is like my brain are divided to 2 parts one is telling me to just lay down and do nothing useful and the other part is keep telling me i need to do something useful

    and the first part is keep wining and destroying my life slowly i keep thinking about if i don't have this part of me or at least it is not that strong i will have today so many different skills but instead here i'm with nothing

    the only thing that i wanted to learn and actually learn it is english language and even then i couldn't learn it till perfection and the only reason i could learn it is because i found a way to combine fun with learning by learn english from video games but unfortunately i can't do that with everything i want to learn in life

    what really hurt me is that i really want to be better but there is that part of me who doesn't want to do anything that aren't pure fun

    can i change that or will i be forever like this? forever have to struggle with myself every time i need to work

  2. #2
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    Here's what I would do. First stop telling yourself you are lazy -self-fulfilling prophecy and waste of time.
    Second, make a schedule and stick to it. In that schedule should be at least 30 minutes (all at once!) of some kind of cardio exercise - google how fast you need to walk/run at your age/health to get your heart rate up. I suggest listening to podcasts while you exercise that have to do with something that increases your knowledge -of a subject, of current events, etc. Or, music that you like if it gets you going/motivated is a great alternative.
    Second make yourself drink at least 10-11 glasses of plain water a day - 8oz glass (or metric equivalent) -that will do two things -increase your energy and also force you to get up off the couch more often (since you'll have to use the restroom more often).

    Divide your goal(s) into tiny steps. Commit to completing one step in a specific interval of time -one day, one week -but not much longer.
    There are also great books on developing organizational skills and focus. Google that too. Martha Beck is a great self help author on this topic.

    Accept accountability and responsibility for your choices. You can help yourself from watching TV, etc. I had a friend in grad school who used to trash the game she loved online (tetris -this was the 1990s!) so that she physically could not access it when she had to study.

    The more you make choices that reflect hard work and discipline and structure the more you'll like yourself and that then breeds more motivation -a positive cycle. Good luck!

  3. #3
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    Telling yourself you are lazy does not help. It is an excuse to continue with your behavior. Either you want to be a bum/loser, or want to succeed. Time to grow up and motivate yourself like the rest of us.

    You will change, if you put in the effort. Welcome to real life!

  4. #4
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    They're just bad habits.

    You need to form new habits.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Are mom and dad supporting you? You sound rather spoiled.
    Originally Posted by dantyKSA
    i can't do anything that isn't about having fun i was bad at school and now bad at colleage not because i'm stupid but because i can't stop my self from watching tv, browsing social media, playing video games, etc. and start opening my books and study

  7. #6
    Platinum Member RainyCoast's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Are mom and dad supporting you? You sound rather spoiled.
    Might sound harsh but there's something to it - it's incredible how we suddenly lose our lazy bone when there's no alternative.

    I don't mean to be critical OP, but I think you would do yourself a favor to force more responsibility on yourself. Paying rent at home for example forces one to work at least part time, and when you know you're short on time and energy you're much more active to get things done. Sport can help if you choose it wisely, for example by avoiding sports that have a lot of potential to invite excuses (you don't like the guys on the basketball team, it's a long drive, membership is expensive etc). But things like a morning run or high intensity interval training at home (or lifting - if gainz motivate you to continue) make you very alert and efficient in general because they speed you up so much and are quite addictive. So ironically you get more done in less time because you're in that "go! Go! Go! Let's do this!!" mood for many hours after workouts. Because they're rewarding (your workouts improve daily, changes in mood and appearance are very quick) it doesn't cross your mind to waste time on the internet or playing games because you're rationalizing your time and spending that 40 minutes on something that supports the rest of your daily activities.

    I don't know anyone who had made themselves motivated by lounging around playing games or browsing. That's what you do when you deliberately want to slow down and get nothing worthy done - you need that too sometimes. But you're lethargic because you have such an imbalance between active and passive rest. The therapist who worked with the clients at my former workplace always emphasized that we counter the clients lethargy and lack of achievement by encouraging active rest first- walks, hikes, volleyball, gardening etc. Exhaustion in the contemporary life style is very rarely due to do being too active, it's more often from feeling dulled down and zombified.

    I'm not going to tell you to get rid of your xbox or block your internet access for all but 1 hour a day because you won't, and you'll likely soon find a way around your own restrictions if you do. It's harder to just kick a habit than it is to give yourself a new habit that makes it tricky to go back to the old one.

    Many people your age or just slightly older are juggling work, a child, school, and a chronic illness to boot with little to no help from family. They don't manage because they're better than you or naturally more enthusiastic. They manage because there's no alternative. Some things you have to force, at least in the beginning. Put yourself in that mindset that life demands more of you- you needn't be homeless or alone with a child to know that you may not have the comfort that you have today, tomorrow, and start doing today what you'll need done sooner rather than later. Start a savings account, get a job on the weekends and do your first YouTube workout today, then hit your books knowing that you have to go pick up your niece for ice cream at seven pm, scrub your mother's kitchen, run your dad's errand or go for a consultation with the professor whose subject you struggle with most or practice guitar playing.

    I agree that self help literature can teach you helpful tips, but since you tend to fantasize more about things you'd like to do than actually do them, you may fall into the trap of "planning for" or " getting ready for " or educating yourself on being productive than actually getting around to doing something so I'm not sure you're the right person for that right now. I'd try a rule of working on things non negotiably and working on them when I'm uninspired first. To knock that destructive habit of waiting for the inspiration to get off your bum because that rarely happens even with the more perky folks.

    Do you need any tips on efficient studying? What are you studying? I'm a lifetime learner and have studied for degrees well into adulthood when I already had other responsibilities that necessitated that I'm quick and efficient in studying, let me know if you could use a trick or two. But mostly, schedule an appointment with all your professors for the upcoming week, tell them all you're behind on your subjects and would like to see them weekly for a while so you can get feedback and advice as you start catching up. That'll force you to at least get your reading done because you don't want to show up not even knowing what questions to ask or expecting they just repeat the whole lecture for you because you haven't bothered going over it.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Learning how to reward yourself with the things you want to do AFTER you complete certain things that you need to do is either a life skill you'll opt to learn on your own, or life will eventually force it upon you with maturity.

    Nobody can do this for you, it's a decision.

    Meanwhile, consider making an appointment with your school mental health counselor to be assessed for depression. You don't need to be sad to be depressed, but low energy and the feeling of laziness often accompany depression and can be a real uphill battle. Depression is a chemical imbalance that causes such physical symptoms, and it can be treated. Consider that counseling can allow for an expert to help you with this issue regardless of whether depression is diagnosed, or not.


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