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I think I have binge eating disorder


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Okay. So I’d just like to start this off with who I am. I’m a young woman, I’m 24. I’m going to give details of my height and weight and nationality so you know what I’m working with.

 

Height: 5ft 11.5 inches

Weight: 12 stone (after a binge)

Nationality: White British

 

Okay, so basically, I think I am suffering with binge eating disorder. I never used to. I used to have a pretty healthy attitude towards food. This started in 2017/18. I moved into a house with my (now ex) boyfriend and I put on almost 4 stone. Being quite tall, at 13st 12 I wasn’t completely out of shape but I was overweight so I started dieting and restricting calories to lose the weight. I didn’t even realise I had put that much on until colleagues at work mentioned it and were a little less than friendly about it and my ex boyfriend suddenly stopped being intimate so (and I know this is the wrong reason to lose weight) but to get back his attention I started to diet and restrict etc in an effort for him to find me attractive again. (He never said he wasn’t but to me lack of intimacy spoke volumes). I lost almost all the weight and was 11 stone then I decided to stop dieting but the issue was I still thought I was fat. At 11st and 5’11, my BMI would suggest I was a perfectly healthy weight. Then he moved out without warning and left me for another woman and left me to pick up the pieces. I stopped caring about my figure and ended up losing a stone because I stopped eating leaving me at 10 stone 5”11. Fast forward 6 months and I’ve started seeing someone new and I have started eating again but the issue is I am now 12 stone and hate every inch of my body. I am constantly cutting calories then binge eating because I am eating too little. I am always seeking approval about my figure and weight from friends and family to no avail because they don’t know that I am suffering so badly. I am at a stage where I’ll buy lots of junk food binge badly then feel so guilty I feel sick afterward. I keep getting told I don’t look fat but all I see is fat on my body. I have a BMI of 23.5 and I make myself sick. I just cannot kick the feeling that I am overweight but I restrict so much I binge and then feel bad then I try and be sensible and I eat 1200 cals for a few days then I binge then restrict to 500 cals then binge and I cannot stop. I feel gross.

 

Hope someone can help. And thank you for reading.

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Don't DIET!! They work only for the short term and you gain back 10 fold. Go see your doctor and they will hook you up with a nutritionist and get you into a healthy exercise regiment. You don't diet, you do a "lifestyle change". Also you may need counseling. Over eating is an emotional thing too. Stress among other things will make you turn to food for comfort.

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Thanks everyone!

 

I’m trying not to diet. I’d absolutely love to be a conplete gym rat but it’s just now who I am nor do I have time for it. I live alone so do a ton of overtime at work to pay bills and I go to university full time too. I know it sounds like excuses but trying to maintain friendships and a relationship too with that is hard aha

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Both my husband and I are ketogenic/lead ketogenic lifestyles and continued for some years. In the past half year or so, our fat adaptation has come full circle and we've radically reduced the amount of fat we eat simply because it's no longer necessary. Our fat consumption is not comparable with others starting out on becoming ketogenic or fat adapted. The unsung heros in the ketogenic diet are fiber and water. Not enough people consume fiber and water. My husband's reasons for weight loss were health-related (more severe than mine at the time but gone after he lost weight). My reasons were to reduce inflammation related to eczema and asthma. I'm happy to say that I've not experienced any asthma attacks since the first year I started keto and my eczema has disappeared.

 

At this point, my husband is 160lbs and I am 124lbs. He lost 200 and I lost about 25. Maintenance after becoming fat adapted depends on your activity level. Some who live ketogenic swear that activity levels don't matter but obviously they matter to us (we are heavily outdoors-oriented people). Coming also from a family of doctors/health practitioners, I cannot deny that there is plenty of good in exercise and would never dissuade someone from engaging in some movement or exercise in their life. To adhere to any strong way of eating(or dieting) without exercise is a bit of a red flag and misnomer, in my mind. I believe losing weight is possible on the ketogenic diet at first without exercise and an unnecessary taxation on the body in the first 1-2 months while the body becomes accustomed but after that, there's no reason not to and every reason to incorporate some healthy activity levels for heart rate etc.

 

At this time we are fat adapted (this means our bodies burn our own fat stores) but we are so lean and the body requires so little to run on that our fats are reduced tremendously. We eat fatty meats about twice or three times a week. We both eat one meal a day with no desire at all or need to eat more than that. Meals are usually higher quality cuts of protein and fiber. We do not count calories (similar to traditional keto). Our food intake is remarkably simple.

 

There are many ways to skin a cat. I'd suggest you do more reading and come up with a plan that works for you. Speak to your doctor about your plan and don't be afraid to have your blood tested and checkups regularly. We go for blood work every 6 months and have never had any issues. We also have no predisposed issues or serious health issues(past or present). You may want to go over any other serious health issues with your doctor and see what works for you.

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Consult a doctor, therapist, personal trainer and dietitian so you can get on a healthy eating and activity plan. Eating disorders are not about weight or food. They are about using that as an outlet for other issues with body image, control, anxiety etc.

This started in 2017/18. I moved into a house with my (now ex) boyfriend and I put on almost 4 stone. I am always seeking approval about my figure and weight from friends and family to no avail because they don’t know that I am suffering so badly
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Do not look into another diet, you need to book an appointment with a therapist who specializes in eating disorders. It took me years to admit mine, don't do that to yourself, please! The issue is way deeper than fat.

Diets don't work!

Keep us posted too!

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Diets usually don't work due to poor mindset or inability to curb or control poor habits. Most people will find they need support regardless of what they choose. Some, like my husband who started living ketogenic, found tremendous motivation in mountaineering and the extreme of that sport and what it required of his body and mind. I'm a kayaker by sport and philosophy so core strength is required. I don't suspect the majority of people live like him (or us) so yes, I'd suggest you see a therapist if you think you need to. Otherwise, if you are like us and if you do feel you have greater motivation to curb your bad habits and break the cycles related to your food choices, it's a matter largely of discipline and mental strength.

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I'm sorry you are going through this. I can absolutely relate to your feelings as I've been going through something similar. Everyone will have differing opinions on what you should do. Here are my thoughts:

 

First of all you are not overweight. You know this. So you don't actually need to lose any weight. Right now you are in a cycle of binging - fasting - dieting.

 

You begin by dieting (1200 calories is dieting), then you binge because you feel so hungry and deprived, then you fast to make up for the binge.

 

So ....stop dieting. This means stop restricting yourself to 1200 calories as if that is the holy grail. Give yourself permission to eat more because more is what your body needs.

 

The unhealthy cycle you are in can be stopped if you simply give your body what it wants and needs ie nutritious food balanced with a bit of fun food. I'm not sure what your calorie needs are but at your height you can likely eat 1700-1900 calories and maintain your weight. This 1900 calories will allow you to eat some snacks and junk food especially if the rest of your meals are healthy and wholesome. This may help you to feel more full while being less guilty and more in control. Of course there will be days where you go over this calories. In that case, don't fast. Just get back on track the next day.

 

Secondly, the next problem you have is you hate your body. To help this I suggest you start running. Try couch to 5k. Its 30 mins three times a week. Yes it will help your fitness, no it probably won't really do anything for weight loss BUT here's what it will do - it will help you feel better mentally and physically. It will make you like and respect your body more. It will also release happy hormones and we all need that in our lives. Trust me, it works.

 

Thirdly, educate yourself on what normal everyday women's bodies look like. We are ambushed with daily images from the media that have an impact on what we feel we should look like. There's a website that shows what your weight/height looks like -mybodygallary.com. I've often looked at it because it shows all different weights and its interesting to see the normal skin, lumps, bumps, different shapes etc. I really think we women need to actively and intentionally learn to love and accept our bodies without comparing them to celebrities and models.

 

Best of luck to you. I know its hard. But you have reached out for help here so you know you have an issue that needs help. That's the first step.

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I'm sorry you are going through this. I can absolutely relate to your feelings as I've been going through something similar. Everyone will have differing opinions on what you should do. Here are my thoughts:

 

First of all you are not overweight. You know this. So you don't actually need to lose any weight. Right now you are in a cycle of binging - fasting - dieting.

 

You begin by dieting (1200 calories is dieting), then you binge because you feel so hungry and deprived, then you fast to make up for the binge.

 

So ....stop dieting. This means stop restricting yourself to 1200 calories as if that is the holy grail. Give yourself permission to eat more because more is what your body needs.

 

The unhealthy cycle you are in can be stopped if you simply give your body what it wants and needs ie nutritious food balanced with a bit of fun food. I'm not sure what your calorie needs are but at your height you can likely eat 1700-1900 calories and maintain your weight. This 1900 calories will allow you to eat some snacks and junk food especially if the rest of your meals are healthy and wholesome. This may help you to feel more full while being less guilty and more in control. Of course there will be days where you go over this calories. In that case, don't fast. Just get back on track the next day.

 

Secondly, the next problem you have is you hate your body. To help this I suggest you start running. Try couch to 5k. Its 30 mins three times a week. Yes it will help your fitness, no it probably won't really do anything for weight loss BUT here's what it will do - it will help you feel better mentally and physically. It will make you like and respect your body more. It will also release happy hormones and we all need that in our lives. Trust me, it works.

 

Thirdly, educate yourself on what normal everyday women's bodies look like. We are ambushed with daily images from the media that have an impact on what we feel we should look like. There's a website that shows what your weight/height looks like -mybodygallary.com. I've often looked at it because it shows all different weights and its interesting to see the normal skin, lumps, bumps, different shapes etc. I really think we women need to actively and intentionally learn to love and accept our bodies without comparing them to celebrities and models.

 

Best of luck to you. I know its hard. But you have reached out for help here so you know you have an issue that needs help. That's the first step.

 

Excellent response! This is actually what I'm doing, even using this exact app. I'm also in therapy, but running does help. Start following body positive activists, fill your social media accounts with a variety of bodies.

BMI is no indicator of health, heck doctors have stopped using it too as far as I know.

Please consider therapy though, eating disorders are dangerous.

Loving your body is so hard. We've been brainwashed for so many years to hate them, it'll take a while to finally love them.

With therapy I've found the root of my eating disorder and am sorting out my relationship with food. Am at the step where I'll be going to a nutritionist soon to start learning how to eat healthy again. It's a process.

 

Exercise and take care of yourself because you love your body, not because you hate it. That's a quote that has helped me.

Also, whoever dumps you because of your weight, is not worth having in your life.

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Diets usually don't work due to poor mindset or inability to curb or control poor habits.

 

I'm sorry, but it's a bit more complicated than that. Just because it may work for some, doesn't mean that the rest are weak or anything. This logic is one of the marketing schemes of the diet culture. Kinda like the American dream or the lottery. John achieved it, anyone can. Nope.

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Thank you so much for all your amazing responses! They have all be really sweet and really helpful! Just a quick update, since posting, today, I spoke to a close friend about what I’ve been going through and deleted a calorie counting app I’ve been using because I have realised it was doing me more harm than good. I have so made an appointment with my doctor for in 2 days time and I am just going to pour my heart out to her. This has gone on long enough and it’s seriously taking a toll on my mental health. Thank you so much to the person who posted the response with a website for average ladies bodies. I’m sure that will help as a spend soooo much time comparing myself to others. You’re all amazing so thank you. 💖

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Consult a doctor, therapist, personal trainer and dietitian so you can get on a healthy eating and activity plan. Eating disorders are not about weight or food. They are about using that as an outlet for other issues with body image, control, anxiety etc.

 

This, please do this OP^^^^^^^^

 

Also, while I appreciate that Rose has found a diet that works for her and her husband, typically speaking restrictive dieting is VERY difficult... add to that most people are pretty uninformed about what Keto is and does (although Rose does not appear to be one of those people). I have been following a Paleo diet for a number of years now to deal with my autoimmune disorder and manage my energy levels and while I recognize that it works for me, most people don't want or need to do something so restrictive and are very rarely committed enough to be successful long term. Before jumping on a fad diet bandwagon, you need to sort out what your goals are, what you do and don't know about nutrition, how you relate to food, how to make good choices, portion size, hunger signals, etc. and definitely seek out therapy and advice from your physician before proceeding with any drastic change in your diet or activity levels.

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I'd like to point out that keto is not really a diet but a lifestyle chosen. I've never viewed it as a diet. The term 'diet' seems to be rather loaded in the weight loss industry and has awful connotations. I'm not in any way meaning that someone is weak. I learned early on that this is such a personal journey and even in online forums (even ketogenic forums!) conversations about weight loss and methods or other minor streams of the keto lifestyle can be very controversial and most people are very passionate about their own journeys. I've discovered that my husband and I actually don't entirely fit into the quintessential keto lifestyle either as our fat intake is quite different and the phase we are at in our journey is radically different from others who are, let's say, just starting out. In summary, we don't need much fat to burn. Our purposes are health related and sports related, not primarily for aesthetic reasons or issues with self-image.

 

Just as I do respect the caution placed on restrictive methods, I'd also urge more respect towards others who have chosen what works for them - even if it does fall within a restrictive "diet" for specific purposes or if the D word is used. One rule does not work for all. I think what matters is staying positive and focused.

 

With all that said, yes, I'd urge you to speak with your doctor but I'll be real with you too, OP. If you don't have any real motivation to be active or think positively about your self-image or aren't motivated to improve and become more positive and happy on the whole, no change in what you eat is going to help how you feel about yourself. I hope you find lots of fun and help and stay motivated along the way.

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Find an eating disorder specialist in your area. Not just any therapist, but one who specializes in eating disorders. They can guide you through intuitive eating, and help you get to the heart of your starve/binge/starve cycle.

 

Do not look into any other diets or eating plans. Those are only a band-aid to your deeper issues, which are at the roots of your eating.

 

The eating cycle is a symptom of something deeper. Adding a new diet/lifestyle/whatever we want to call it/ plan will only mask this.

 

Please, google "eating disorder therapist+your area". I've done it, and I will say it's highly worthwhile.

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With all that said, yes, I'd urge you to speak with your doctor but I'll be real with you too, OP. If you don't have any real motivation to be active or think positively about your self-image or aren't motivated to improve and become more positive and happy on the whole, no change in what you eat is going to help how you feel about yourself. I hope you find lots of fun and help and stay motivated along the way.

 

I did understand and I do, that your intentions are coming from a good place and sincere concern. I feel the need to explain though, for others too, that what's going on in the mind of a person who suffers from an eating disorder goes way beyond having a positive stance and motivation. I for one , have linked my weight to my self worth. If I lose it, I will be accepted by others. This means that even at my lowest weight, after dieting and exercising hard, I thought it was still not enough. People with extra fat are not lazy. We don't lack motivation and although you are kinda right, it's a lot more complicated. Yes, we do need to think positive about our bodies but if we need to solve the deeper problems in order to exercise and eat healthy and maintain that lifestyle. If not, we'll go back to restricting.

 

Heck, I'm in therapy for a year and just the other day I was considering a water fast. Eating nothing for 3-7 days, because my mind is that Fed up.

Note: in other languages there are two words for diet. One means diet as in, losing weight, the other means a change in lifestyle, like learning to eat healthy forever, of that makes sense.

 

I do respect everyone's choices, but suggesting a restrictive diet, to a person who is struggling with an eating disorder is, like mustlovedogs said, irresponsible. We're wired to believe it'll work and we'll just jump into it with our distorted image of what's healthy and just delay our journey to a healthy life.

 

I'm saying this in the most sincere and caring way possible.

 

Edit to add: also, contrary to popular belief, you can't tell who is suffering from an eating disorder, that means we need to be careful when talking about diets (both meanings) to people. Sure, can't save everyone, just saying we need to be more cautious.

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Yes sadly a lot of people with eating disorders scour the internet for more dieting tips. Like drug addicts scouring the internet on better ways to shoot up. And there will always be people out there who will give them these tips. But that is precisely why they go to random internet forums instead of doctors/therapist, to get tips on furthering their sickness.

It is irresponsible to suggest a restrictive diet to someone with disordered eating. You need to see a doctor and a psychologist to work through this.
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Avoid all diets!

 

A slow, steady reduction in calorie intake is the only way to permanently change your body.

Done right, it will take up to two years.

 

Beware of ott exercise. It has a way of derailing calorie reduction.

Just walk and other light home exercise will be all you need.

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