Age gap...

Hello all,

Firstly, I am a 30 year old female who is single and no kids. I am a professional woman and extremely independent. At my last employer, I met this older supervisor who must’ve been attracted to me because he discreetly gave me his number so no one will know due to our positions. He’s divorced, one child and is stable. Honestly, he peeked my interest and I called him. I thought over and over if I should call him because I knew he was older and because I just didn’t know why I should call him. After a few weeks, I decided to call him and we clicked on our first conversation. He does live about 2 hours away but we decided to get together and hang out as friends and have some fun with drinks and conversation. I will admit that the conversation has been great and when we are together is just laughs, jokes and a good time. Now, he is 51 years old but looks younger. I am attracted to him and miss him when he’s not around because it’s like i can be myself around him. He makes statements that obviously I notice he is also into me. Should I let it go due to age difference? Or should i just keep it as a fun friendship? Im just confused with what to do...

I always find it questionable when a man intentionally seeks out a woman who lives long distance, in your case two hours.

Why would he do that?

IF he is single and available (massive if imo), would not it make more sense for him to seek out local women?

But no, he gave you, a woman who lives two hours away, his phone number.

Please think about that, are you 100% sure he's divorced?

Don't care what HE told you, married men lie when it suits them.

I'm not that concerned about the age gap, large age gaps can work, what I am wondering is why isn't he pursuing you?

Giving you his phone number and expecting you to call is lame and again, why isn't he pursuing you, asking you out?

If he were interested in dating you, and available to date you, he would!

Do you work with him? Is he your supervisor?

I'm unclear about that.

In any event, proceed with caution!

It really boils down to what you ultimately want from him eventually if it turns into a relationship

Do you want kids? He will probably won't want more

What are your views on marriage? What are his views?

It all depends where you are in life...only you have the answer to that question.

If you're out there having fun, what wrong could there be in pursuing this friendship.

If you're as professional and independent as you say, you don't need the opinions of a forum and you'll be fully capable deciding in the end whether this is right for you. I'm not very interested in your ability to make relationship decisions and I'd suspect you already gauged not to put your career in jeopardy.

The two hour distance makes him more of a friend rather than a romantic interest or a sort of fling. Have fun.

It really boils down to what you ultimately want from him eventually if it turns into a relationship

 

Do you want kids? He will probably won't want more

 

What are your views on marriage? What are his views?

I think that if you answer these questions honestly, you'll realise that any relationship with this guy is likely a dead end.

It's a pretty sizable age gap and a very long distance between you, but the main thing that jumps out at me here is the fact that you don't have any children. Do you want any in the future? if so then i don't think you should pursue a relationship with this guy because it's highly unlikely at his age that he'll want any more children.

He is old enough to be your father. It may not seem important now but when you are 50 and he is 71 chances are that you are going to be in massively different life phases and you risk ending up his nurse and spending your golden years as a widow. Imo, it's not worth it in the long-term. It doesn't even worth it in the short term given the two hours distance. Plus, what all the previous posts wrote to you about marriage and kids. Imo, this guy is a very poor investment given your age gap, long distance and different life circumstances. You would be better off finding someone closer to your age and postal code.

I’ve been here. My ex was 23 years older than my self (I am 24 and we split 6 months ago). All I can say is I wouldn’t go there if you are ever planning to have children or get married etc. I would also make sure he isn’t emotionally attached to the mother of his children. Actions speak a whole lot louder than words just always remember that!

You've got to be honest with yourself and see where this can possibly go.

In ten years he will be close to retirement age.

He might seem in good shape now, but that could change fairly quickly. You two as well might have things to talk about temporarily, but that too will change and you will begin to relate to one another, less and less.

Maybe you just wanted the ego boost or perhaps you're lonely, but without putting any emotions into it and looking at this whole scenario logically, it's got failure written all over it.

Thank you for your reply. Why was the reason that ended the relationship?

Thank you all for your honest advice. I appreciate it.

I think that because he is a supervisor in your company, i would not have accepted the "slipped phone number". If you had worked together for 10 years and developed a respectful work friendship and therefore also knew eachother's situation better, I could understand wanting to date, but it just seems like something that could eventually harm your job or your interest in climbing up the ladder.