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Thread: General dating concerns

  1. #11
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    So what exactly is your concern?

    Everything you wrote sounds normal. There's a bit of back and forth, and then there's a decision made. Often it doesn't go your way. You never lose interest suddenly? Do you date everyone that talks to you?

    Talk less, meet more.

    I wouldn't put too much weight on 'sexual innuendo' in early conversations. There are two type of men that just want sex. Smart ones, and dumb ones. The smart ones never show you their hand early.

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by Sportster2005
    So what exactly is your concern?

    Everything you wrote sounds normal. There's a bit of back and forth, and then there's a decision made. Often it doesn't go your way. You never lose interest suddenly? Do you date everyone that talks to you?

    Talk less, meet more.

    I wouldn't put too much weight on 'sexual innuendo' in early conversations. There are two type of men that just want sex. Smart ones, and dumb ones. The smart ones never show you their hand early.
    I didnt talk in general. I talked specifically about guys that asked me out and I reciprocated as to organise something.

    Cases 1 and 4 bailed for seemingly no reason.

    Not sure about cases 2 and 3 i would need some insight. As for case 3, he seems to do everything right on setting up the date, however, he is not so forthcoming with convo compared to the others....

    Sexual innuendos for me are very important not to exist in the early communications.

  3. #13
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    They all sound fine.
    A meet is just that. A second meet is a first date.

    If someone online makes concrete plans to meet and you are interested in meeting then do so at a time when you are both free.

    If the chat goes too long before arranging a meet then neither is that interested. And thatís perfectly fine.

    You donít ďchooseĒ one over another.
    You donít know any of them .
    To rule some out because of circumstances is just foolish on your part.

    Big freakin deal if someone is moving away for a while. You donít know him. He doesnít know you. You might meet and part ways 30 mins later. Because neither of you are interested or one of you isnít.

    Stop looking at it as if itís a major life changing decision.
    Meet or donít. No skin off their nose if you donít. And vice versa.

  4. #14
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    I said i will meet lol. Chat didnt go too long, max one week with everyone except for Guy 2.

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by Chrys31
    I said i will meet lol. Chat didnt go too long, max one week with everyone except for Guy 2.
    So whatís your question?

  7. #16
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    My question is why did the two guys bail when they seemed so keen and why especially the one that makes the actual effort to organise the date, doesnt seem so forthcoming compared to the others.

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by Chrys31
    My question is why did the two guys bail when they seemed so keen and why especially the one that makes the actual effort to organise the date, doesnt seem so forthcoming compared to the others.
    Because complete strangers often change their minds about first meets - on line and off line - so do people you meet in real life at a party -can be really annoying and even stressful. So you have to decide whether you can have a thicker skin about it/whether it's worth it considering your goals in dating.

  9. #18
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    hmmm.... ok i understand. I think nothing can replace a face to face spontaneous encounter. Often wondering if this type of dating actually really works

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by Chrys31
    hmmm.... ok i understand. I think nothing can replace a face to face spontaneous encounter. Often wondering if this type of dating actually really works
    Sure - you don't have to date or date in a particular way. Several of my friends met their spouses this way and long term significant others (my friend and her SO have an 11 year old son now - not married and happily coupled). I had a number of long term and shorter term relationships through personal ads and online sites. I never dated online. I enjoyed spontaneous encounters too but since I had a short but essential list of what I was looking for in a spouse, being set up, or getting to screen through an on line site helped me not waste time. In addition I was extremely proactive about going to singles events, networking events, social events, singles resorts, doing volunteer work so that instead of trying to meet someone completely random I was in an environment where I was likely to meet single men who would be a potentially good match or meet women who could introduce me to single men. And I also set up people all the time -and people reciprocated.

    Like I wrote, don't date online -date in person. Use online sites for the first contact. Then meet in person ASAP.

    If it's crucial for you to meet face to face spontaneously first then do not waste your time writing to people on line -also not fair to them if you're that biased against it.

    I wouldn't think of it as a "type of dating" -it's a way among others of meeting people.

  11. #20
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    There is too much chitchat prior to meeting. After a few exchanges set up a meet. Be definitive. Never "text for weeks". If someone does not set up a confirmed meet within a few message exchanges stop texting.

    There is too much nonsensical "screening" going on and way too much chitchat, way too focused on texting and interrogating (aka "is forthcoming") and not enough in person meeting.

    It does not matter how 'forthcoming', whatever stats and so on if you never meet. People are not looking for pen pals, text buddies or phone pals and neither should you be. It's a turn off and a waste of time for everyone involved. Especially you, as you have seen.
    Originally Posted by Chrys31

    Guy 1: needless to say we never met.

    Guy 2: We are talking for some weeks now he is going away for a few months

    Guy 3: with this one we have agreed to meet today but for some reason I have an iffy feeling about it as he doesnt seem compared to others extremely forthcoming in conversation.

    Guy 4:he asked me to go out before i go holiday. nice to have spoken to you over the phone. He said to you too and then i didnt hear from him again.

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