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Thread: Will he come back?

  1. #1

    Will he come back?

    I broke w my ex of almost 3yrs because apparently he didnt wanna commit. I honestly think he is gg through something like grass is greener. Anyway, we have 3 months of NC bcs i could put up w his indecisiveness bcs he was giving me hot and cold behaviours.

    2 weeks ago he texted me, if i was over him? And he misses me. I am confused.

    Eversince he has been doing "check up" msgs on me to see how i am doing. I just gave very short answers and ended the convo.

    What does it all mean? Will he come back?

  2. #2
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    When did you break up?

  3. #3
    It sounds like he may want to come back, but the question is do you want him back? Remember you broke up with him for a reason. He wouldn't commit, he was indecisive, he blew hot and cold. Is that what you want to go back to?

  4. #4
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    Firstly, sorry you're experiencing this confusion. I want to say, and don't take this as me being harsh as it isn't meant to come off that way, but you're asking a rhetorical question. No body here can possibly answer that question (will he come back?) no matter how much information you give. Even he likely doesn't know if he will ever return to the relationship. Sending check up messages could be him giving you bread crumbs because being in contact may help him move on easier whilst still testing the waters to keep you there as an option (even if that's not a conscious agenda on his part). It could be because he's doubting his decision. It could be because he genuinely cares about you as a person and is just checking up on you.

    No one can tell you the answer to that question, except for him (and even then I wouldn't bank on a clear answer). You'll just have to wait it out (if you want to get back together) or don't wait it out (if you don't want to get back together). You cannot begin to know what's going on inside his head, only your own, so just decide what you want and work from that. If you want to get back together with him then ask him straight out if that's what he wants. If he doesn't, then take steps towards moving on. If he isn't sure, then tell him to only contact you again if/when he knows he does (if he decides in the end that he doesn't want to, then tell him he can stay gone). If you don't want to get back together then tell him that and go 'no contact'.

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  6. #5
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    If he didn't want to commit, what would be any different even if he does come back?

    Why do you think it's the ol' Grass is Greener - did he meet someone else?

  7. #6
    Gold Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Your first sentence: move forwards. That is enough.

    If a man doesn't want to commit to you, it's enough to move forwards and not look back. You need no other reason and should have no other questions. He should have no other reason to contact you and you have no reason to respond or even read his messages.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    What do you mean by commit? Exclusive dating? Living together? Marriage? Kids? How old s is he? You need to be more decisive and not get sucked back in. He may come back, but he is not going to commit. It will simply become an on/off sexually based relationship, because he knows you'll take him back and that you used the breakup as a maneuver to try to get him to commit....Which of course he doesn't have to because all you want is to get him back.
    Originally Posted by radiosilence
    I broke w my ex of almost 3yrs because apparently he didnt wanna commit. 2 weeks ago he texted me, if i was over him? What does it all mean? Will he come back?

  9. #8
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    You never break up as a bargaining chip, you start the clock on the end of your relationship.

    You broke a level of trust you will never get back

    He wonít commit breaking up with is not gonna magically change that, especially if you make it obvious you did it solely to get a reaction. And donít you dare say you meant the breakup cause you stood by him after the breakup like a lonely puppy.

    Disengage

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    If he didn't want to commit, what would be any different even if he does come back?

    Why do you think it's the ol' Grass is Greener - did he meet someone else?
    I agree!

    It does not matter if he misses you, if he does not want a commitment.

    Are you saying he would not commit to a relationship during the three years? Did he cheat?

  11. #10
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    Back in college, I was friends with a woman who was dating her bf for a few years, can't remember how many but a few, like three.

    He would not commit (my friend wanted marriage) so she broke up with him.

    She went complete no contact, moving on with her life.

    A couple of months later, he showed up at her house with a proposal and ring; they got married a year later.

    Same thing happened with Jerry Seinfeld and his wife, Jessica - they had only been dating around nine months.

    Often times, we don't know what we have till it's gone.

    A cliche but very often true.

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