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Help with a guys behaviour at my workplace


Jenebear81

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There is a guy at my work who obviously was attracted to me from the first time he started. He chased me, made hints and seemed quite obvious.

As soon as I jumped on board, yes our connection grew but so did his mixed signals and games. Below are some examples:

*Seems so very interested some days then distant others.

 

*Acted like he was about to ask me out then said why don't you go out on a date with someone else from work. This was in front of other people and well.

 

*One day when I was just trying to chit chat a wee bit, he snapped at me and said - why are you talking to me, I am eating.

I was sitting behind him and his friend walks in and the guy I'm speaking about clears his throat, then says to his friend - I give zero s. His friend looked at me right after. I am pretty sure it was about me.

 

*I come in staff room and try to talk to him and he cuts me off mid sentence, leaves the room goes outside in Bush by the window so I can see him, stares at me with his phone up and started texting on it.

 

*I told him I was moving and was so excited. The week after he knew I did, gave me the silent treatment and had an attitude for 2 weeks.

 

All the while acting interested but never doing anything about it!!

 

Please someone tell me that this guy is borderline abusive!!

 

I completely avoid him at work because it was offensive and hurtful and I feel like a fool! I am not a child for staying away right??

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I can't fathom why you continue talking to this individual. He is not putting off mixed signals at all... he is putting off very clear "stay the f&*^ away from me" signals. Take the hint and do just that... stay away and ignore him.

 

I also question what he did to make you believe he was attracted to you in the first place given his current behavior towards you... whether it was legit or you were reading into what he was saying and doing because of your attraction to him.

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He told me he thinks we'd make a great couple. He flirted with me. He came in on his day off to talk to me. He looked at me with love in his eyes. He kind of asked me to a play but made me read in between the lines so bad that I didn't know what to say. I always had my guard up bc I was going through a divorce. It was when I jumped on board that he became a complete .

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I also don't think he's interested in you. What gave you that thought or what hints did he give you? There may be a genuine misunderstanding but I also don't think you're reading his cues very well. He's snapped, ridiculed and avoided you but you exposed your personal business (moving). Why?

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He told me he thinks we'd make a great couple. He flirted with me. He came in on his day off to talk to me. He looked at me with love in his eyes. He kind of asked me to a play but made me read in between the lines so bad that I didn't know what to say. I always had my guard up bc I was going through a divorce. It was when I jumped on board that he became a complete .

 

Other than the couple comment there is nothing here to indicate he wants to date you.

 

“He looked at me with love in his eyes”? People don’t do this in real life unless they are already in love.

 

He “made me read between the lines so bad”? Nah he didn’t make you do anything... you chose to read into what he was saying instead of watching his actions and taking him at face value.

 

OP I think he was just assessing the situation to see if you were DTF and once he realized you wanted to actually date he lost interest.

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He told me he thinks we'd make a great couple. He flirted with me. He came in on his day off to talk to me. He looked at me with love in his eyes. He kind of asked me to a play but made me read in between the lines so bad that I didn't know what to say. I always had my guard up bc I was going through a divorce. It was when I jumped on board that he became a complete .

Did you sleep with him?

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Guys who flirt but never ask you out are just not that into you, but like the ego boost that the woman has a crush and drops a bread crumb now and then to keep her paying attention to him. Your self worth needs a healthy workout, because you still gave him the time of day after he treated you like you were toxic fumes he wanted out of the room, and you still hoped he'd go back to the flirting. With low self esteem, you will only attract, and be attracted to, bullies and abusers.

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As a general rule, stay away from any man in the process of going through a divorce. Even if it was clear that he was interested in you (which I agree with the others, it doesn't seem like he is), you would just become his emotional airbag to shield him from the pain of being single again. Steer clear of him and look to healthier options if you want a relationship.

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I completely avoid him at work because it was offensive and hurtful and I feel like a fool! I am not a child for staying away right??

 

Avoid him as much as professionalism allows.

 

You are not a child for staying away.

 

Read any policy you have at work on dating co-workers and work place harassment.

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