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What do you think of this guys behaviour towards me?


rainbowroad

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He is my brother's personal trainer at the gym. I've turned around and caught him watching me from a distance since last October! However he would never talk to me but then ask my brother questions like what i do for work. Eventually he started to say hi but that's all it was just saying hi for a few months. However i started to feel uncomfortable around him as once he was standing near me just staring in my face and watching me while i was putting my stuff in the locker.

 

 

The funny thing is that he still asks my brother about how my training is going but never directly asks me. He has mentioned a few times to my brother that he saw me at the gym with another girl and how he's seen me look completely different outside of the gym in my brother's pics on facebook. (Obviously i'm not going to go dressed up to the gym!) He actually went on about how i look so different to my brother for a few days. He also asked my brother if i'm a shy person as he thinks i act shy in the gym- which is ironic seeing as he's asking my brother all the questions and not me.

 

 

 

Recently, I got fed up with him asking my brother questions about me so i messaged him through instagram and told him he done a good job on training my brother. Given the opportunity to chat, he just responded to what i was saying bit didn't make any effort in having a conversation or asking the questions that he asks my brother about me like- how's your training going? So i couldn't be bothered to message him anymore. I also saw on instagram that he follows hundreds of girl's accounts who pose provokatively and he constantly likes their pics. Not sure if he's a pervert or something.

 

When i went to the gym again i saw him watching me from a distance in the gym despite having communicated a little on instagram and me trying to break the ice.

I am SO confused with what this guy wants. Why is he acting like this? Don't understand what his problem is.

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true... part of me wants to mock him at the gym since he doesn't seem to have shame in his behaviour, another part of me is curious to know what his issues are. I'm nore sure how i should act now- things still feel awkward, and he still seems to have an ego that he can't drop.

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In other words, you want to know if he is interested in dating you. The answer is NO. A big, fat, resounding NO.

 

Life is really quite simple. If a guy is interested, he'll ask you on a date. If he is a little shy or doesn't have an opportunity and you give him one, he'll jump on it. You gave this guy an opening, he passed up on it. So, that's that.

 

All that staring....honestly, you probably don't want to know what's really going through his mind there. Heck, he might not even be staring at you, but looking through you, aka not really looking at you as such. All those questions....dude sounds a bit creepy.

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true... part of me wants to mock him at the gym since he doesn't seem to have shame in his behaviour, another part of me is curious to know what his issues are. I'm nore sure how i should act now- things still feel awkward, and he still seems to have an ego that he can't drop.

 

Why are YOU watching his Instagram?

Why do YOU care about who he follows?

Why do YOU want to mock him publicly?

Why do YOU compliment him on his training when he is not YOUR trainer?

Why do YOU care about his ego or problems?

 

It sounds like you are attracted to him and you reached out to him and he didn’t respond.

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What the op fails to mention is that she once accused another personal trainer of sexual assault. This is the reason that this personal trainer is keeping an eye on her. He's wary of her because he knows this and knows what she is capable of. She has written on other forums totally obessessed with this guy and its quite unnerving that she has gone as far as stalking his social media and sending him messages. This has been going on for a long time.

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to break the ice...maybe he'd then be chatty like he is with other females in the gym and things wouldn't be awkward then. Seeing as he thought i was being shy i just wanted to give an opportunity to clear things up.

 

Have you heard of the bubonic plague?

People avoid things they know will only cause harm.

That is all.

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Well why would he ask about me when he's not my trainer! To break the ice! Since he put up a picture of my brother before and after!

 

He has not tried to talk to you ever.

He wants that ice barrier.

And a restraining order by the sounds of it.

 

He trains your brother (an innocent party and client)

Trainers post before and after pics of clients ALL the time.

It was NOT an invite for his clients sister to chat.

 

Seriously , get help.

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Asking my brother if i'm a shy person and that he finds that i act shy in the gym? How is wanting to find out about my character showing signs of wanting to keep a barrier? It's more like he's wondering what i don't speak to him- so i did! I think you need help.

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Why are YOU watching his Instagram?

Why do YOU care about who he follows?

Why do YOU want to mock him publicly?

Why do YOU compliment him on his training when he is not YOUR trainer?

Why do YOU care about his ego or problems?

 

It sounds like you are attracted to him and you reached out to him and he didn’t respond.

 

This exactly. If I am put off by someone's behavior I will be doing everything I can to set a clear boundary with them that I am not interested... including communicating that I would like them to stop asking about me. You don't seem to be doing this and instead are trying to find out whether your interest is reciprocated by contacting him through social media.

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nothing wrong with checking if he's a predator looking for an easy target or not. I did and i got my answers now

 

What you were doing was stalking him. And that answer is that your are an obsessed sexual predator yourself. He knows you accused another personal trainer of sexual assault so it's only natural that he's wary of you.

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Rainbow? You seem to be battling a lot of conflicting things here.

 

One doesn't have to read very far between the lines here to see that (a) you very much like male attention; (b) you are attracted to this guy; and © are kind of annoyed at both these facts of your life.

 

Real talk? Dude is training your bro. His sister goes to the same gym. Trainers make small talk with clients. Asking about you is low-hanging fruit for some small talk. And that, sadly, is that.

 

The staring? Maybe he thinks you're sorta cute, the way dudes in gyms generally think approximately 70 percent of women in gyms are sorta cute. Maybe he's staring off into space, but you're kind of in the way at certain moments, though your own am-I-cute radar goes off in those moments. Maybe he's got a bit of Creepy Gym Dude in him, and hasn't learned how to keep it under wraps. Maybe...

 

Wait—who cares?!

 

You care, because you thought he's sorta cute, liked the attention, and hoped he'd be kind of sparkly and into you when you slid into his DMs. But, alas, he wasn't. Life. Move on, move forward, and try to remember that you—much like me and everyone else—is a much smaller character in the story of the world (or the gym) than sometimes you may think.

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He is not attracted to you. He is wary of you. You are obsessed with him and judging from posts on other forums, you are clearly unstable. On another forum you were insistant you did not like the guy, but here you show you clearly do. Leave him alone.

 

I must agree with this.

 

Sure he's asked his brother about you. But you seem to think that all he does when he's training your brother, from the moment the session starts until it stops, is talk about you.

 

I'm willing to bet this is not the case at all. Trainers talk about all sorts of things while their client is busy pumping iron -family, jobs, weather, etc. It's fair to say that you're a mild topic of interest because you are present. So say your brother had a friend with him instead of you...his trainer would probably talk about the friend as well.

 

I think you have an axe to grind and are using this situation to fit your purposes.

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