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Thread: She says I help her

  1. #1
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    She says I help her

    She's a 43yr old woman. I am a 32yr old male. We work together and I would consider us very close friends. We've know each other for a little over a year now. We've been through some tough situations together and also held the other up when our current relationships with the people we with currently gets rocky.
    She has high levels of anxiety and stress often due to work or her bf. Most of it comes from her bf because he doesn't appriecate her or respect her. Anyways, she claims I keep her sane and grounded just being around. She has said she feel so relaxed and stress free around me.

    Curious if all that could be true and if so why? If true, how am I able to do these things?

  2. #2
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    She uses you as her sounding board. Like you said: ..."also held the other up when our current relationships with the people we with currently gets rocky."

    Hopefully you're not planning on getting involved with this woman (or she with you). Totally inappropriate.

  3. #3
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    You are in emotional cheating territory.

  4. #4
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    You are a free therapist. Stop enabiling her whining and maybe she will finally dump the bf.
    How boring to listen to that drama all the time!

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    I don't know if we would ever become a "thing" but we do have a lot in common in our pasts. I'm not sure she would be into a younger guy or not if that were to happen.

    Anyways, any things to consider or things a person should or shouldn't do in this situation? Ask anything if needed.

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    Why do women stay with men who don't appriecate them and break them down?

  8. #7
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    What do you mean emotionally cheating territory Seraphim?

  9. #8
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    What would attract ypu to a woman who is with a jerk? Can't you recognize that as a red flag?

    Because she has low self esteem and is attracted to the drama.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Aj86
    What do you mean emotionally cheating territory Seraphim?
    I think she means that the fact that she has a partner but is talking to you, a man so much and complaining about her relationship to you and being so close with you, is bordering emotional cheating.

    If you had a girlfriend and she was talking this much to another man as this woman talks to you, would you feel ok about it?

    I'm not saying she's cheating or that she wants to cheat, but many affairs (emotional or physical) began with the person complaining about their partner to the other person.

  11. #10
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    I will say she has impoved since her and I met. My guess is that is good and bad. Do you all think this could lead to a more romantic type relationship or continue to be friends as we are. I get the emotionally cheating thing and yes, that would be bothersome to me the other way around. While this guy isn't good for her and she has admitted that many times, how does one help another get out of a situation like that without being supportive to them?

    I've known from the start she had low self-esteem even those she tries to show otherwise and amplify false confidence. This guy has torn her down and manipulates her. Prior to meeting me she cleam she had some suicidal thoughts and didn't think she could continue. I have made efforts since the start to build her up and make things more positive for her to the best of my ability. She claims she feels happy and positive energy from me, even saying/texting some pretty deep things to acknowledge my support and care towards her. More or less she sees what I've done for her and how I support her. While I don't believe we would ever become anything more than friends, I can't completely deny it as I have had small little occations of attraction to her but always dismiss them. She's older as well and generally older women don't go for younger men that I'm aware of. I guess I've heard of crazier things....

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