On a break?

So I met this wonderful, gorgeous woman through work. We would drive together and she would always joke about the wedding and saying that she missed me and loved me in passing when we wouldn't see each other at work for a while. My dumbbutt didn't catch it right away.... I slowly started to like her. We went to dinner cuz she lost a bet and that same night I told her that I liked her I really really like you. And her face was bright and filled with joy and had the most beautiful smile. My life changed forever that night. We went out for almost eight months. Lots of love, passion, ups and downs. She would always say I meant a lot to her and how she appreciated me and once in a while she would even say that I could be her future hubby. We made a great team she said. I would tell her the same, that I loved her and that she meant the world to me. She went away for a little while in December but I was able to see her once or twice a week. She calls me(in December) and we're talking and she tells me that she never wanted a title(she was introducing me as her boyfriend to others before we had this conversation again) and wasn't ready to be in a relationship cuz of her son and I told her that I was willing to take whatever she gave me and we had had this conversation before so I was kind of confused as to why she would be coming at me with that again all of a sudden. I didn't think much of it and we still were in a relationship. She calls me again (December, she's still away) and she was worried (my phone was off charging) and saying she was having crazy thoughts about me being at a bar picking up women or something. I told her babe, you know I love you and that I'm just at home playing some video games. She says I don't know that. I tell baby I telling you I won't do that. I love you. A couple weeks pass and it's January and I'm bringing her home and I help her get settled in and she tells me she is going to need some space to readjust living at home again. I said anything you need baby. So we still texted each other and I was getting anxious cuz her texts would be hours later. So a few days pass and I text her saying how I know she is going through some things and jokingly said I was having crazy thoughts and how I'm just going to pull a pop in to come see her. And she sends me this long text about how she cares about me and that she needs space and that we should go on a break and I was like baby no a Break means forever and I don't want to lose you..... Three days pass and I text her to see how she's doing. No response. A week passes I try again and nothing. Another week passes and nothing. That same week Saturday night she texts need out of the blue asking if I could pick her up and I told her I've had a few beers and she says nevermind I'll tell about it on Monday. Monday comes and nothing. So I text her Tuesday and she says she can't talk at the moment. I text her again on Wednesday and she comes at need with look I told you I need space, we need a break, I need a break..... And I tell her you can't just come at me and tell me we're going to talk on Monday and not hear from you and expect me to let it go... And she says cuz I needed someone to talk to and she's like I can't do this I can't....

It's February and I text her again to see how she is doing and no response. I tried a few times more the first to weeks of February but after not hearing from her I just kind of gave up....

It's just that I was so in love with her and got so attached. I get sad thinking about her and all the good times we had.

Are we even on a Break?

Is this her way of breaking up?

I've been wanting to write her a letter but I don't know....

Should I try to contact her or let it go?....

Let her go. She sounds unhinged to me.

She's a coward...she couldn't even face you to breakup with you proper. You haven't seen her in 4 frickin months...what does that tell you?

Sorry to say this but I bet money on it she hooked up with someone when she was away. Her freaking out that you could have been out cheating on her was her projecting her own guilt. bro......she's gone.

I don't know.... While she was away she was only allowed authorized visitors. But idk if someone else was there to see her. I just don't know it's so hard....

She's a coward...she couldn't even face you to breakup with you proper. You haven't seen her in 4 frickin months...what does that tell you?

Sorry to say this but I bet money on it she hooked up with someone when she was away. Her freaking out that you could have been out cheating on her was her projecting her own guilt. bro......she's gone.

All the things she would say... Letting me into her home, letting me meet her son... Can someone truly throw away a relationship just like that?

You don't really have a relationship to throw away at this point.

She doesn't want you now. You're going to have to accept that.

You don't really have a relationship to throw away at this point.

 

She doesn't want you now. You're going to have to accept that.

Damn. It's so harsh to hear that.

I just don't understand. I did so much for her....And she would say she loved me... I have so many questions... She can't even let me know how she's doing or If her son liked the gift that we got him... How can you do this? Why couldn't you be honest with me? Are you really just never going to talk to me again? Did you really love me?

Damn.

Yes, this was her way of breaking up. It was a cowardly and disrespectful way to do it, but it's over.

It's been over since she told you she wanted space and then stopped replying to you. It's sad, but yes, some people do bail on relationships like that. Let that be your sign that she's not girlfriend material.

Damn. It's so harsh to hear that.

Yes, it is. Harsh, but it would be more cruel to not tell you, and have you figure that out on your own.

You need to heal and get over this person, but in order to begin the process, you need to see reality in all its coldness. I'm sorry.

I don't know.... While she was away she was only allowed authorized visitors. But idk if someone else was there to see her. I just don't know it's so hard....

What does this mean? Was she locked up or in a treatment program for addicts or for mental health?

What does this mean? Was she locked up or in a treatment program for addicts or for mental health?

I was about to ask the same, on re-reading the first post.

Where was she when she was away, OP?

I was about to ask the same, on re-reading the first post.

 

Where was she when she was away, OP?

She was at treatment

She was at treatment

For substance abuse or mental health?

And yes, if she was recently in treatment she needs to focus on getting well. Not on a boyfriend.

When a person wants a break, that means a break-up. It's over. You are honestly the most pushy guy i have ever read about though. She asked you for space, and you didn't respect her wishes at all. Instead you bombarded her with text messages all the time. You came off rather desperate and cringey and that's very unattractive. Stop contacting her because she's not interested anymore. It's over.

When a person wants a break, that means a break-up. It's over. You are honestly the most pushy guy i have ever read about though. She asked you for space, and you didn't respect her wishes at all. Instead you bombarded her with text messages all the time. You came off rather desperate and cringey and that's very unattractive. Stop contacting her because she's not interested anymore. It's over.

I waited a few days before text I her and she was ok with it. But I know after that, that I didn't give her enough time. And I told her that and told her that I should have let her set the pace..... Yeah I ed up but I don't think was being pushy. She texted me out of the blue after that and I couldn't get out to her and she said never mind I'll talk to you on Monday and she didn't so I had to find out what was going on and that's when she was like look I need space/ a break. But why text me and then do that? I haven't tried contacting her since around Feb. 15.

For substance abuse or mental health?

 

And yes, if she was recently in treatment she needs to focus on getting well. Not on a boyfriend.

I Know..... But this is like the second time that she had tried treatment. I wasn't around during the first go round. But I told her we could make it work. Now I'm left wtno closure and wondering if I was being used....

I Know..... But this is like the second time that she had tried treatment. I wasn't around during the first go round. But I told her we could make it work. Now I'm left wtno closure and wondering if I was being used....

I think that's the point, though. She wasn't getting better with you in the picture, either.

Was this drug treatment?

I think that's the point, though. She wasn't getting better with you in the picture, either.

 

Was this drug treatment?

Yeah....

Dang, maybe I was being a selfish jerk.....

Yeah....

Dang, maybe I was being a selfish jerk.....

No, that is not what I meant.

She is not in any place to be in a relationship if her addiction is so overwhelming that she needs inpatient treatment. For the second time. Good for her for seeking help, but dating is not really a priority for people struggling with drug addiction.

You got attached to someone who cannot offer you the sort of relationship you are hoping for.

No, that is not what I meant.

 

She is not in any place to be in a relationship if her addiction is so overwhelming that she needs inpatient treatment. For the second time. Good for her for seeking help, but dating is not really a priority for people struggling with drug addiction.

 

You got attached to someone who cannot offer you the sort of relationship you are hoping for.

I was there supporting her through treatment when she went again. I just need to know if she's doing ok. I got way too attached......

I guess that's what she meant when she said she couldn't be fully committed. I know her son is a priority and I told I would take what she gave me. Big mistake probably.....

I waited a few days before text I her and she was ok with it. But I know after that, that I didn't give her enough time. And I told her that and told her that I should have let her set the pace..... Yeah I ed up but I don't think was being pushy. She texted me out of the blue after that and I couldn't get out to her and she said never mind I'll talk to you on Monday and she didn't so I had to find out what was going on and that's when she was like look I need space/ a break. But why text me and then do that? I haven't tried contacting her since around Feb. 15.

Why do you HAVE to find out what's going on? We already told you, she is not interested anymore. It's over. Accept that and move on. Leave her alone. Stop obsessing.

Why do you HAVE to find out what's going on? We already told you, she is not interested anymore. It's over. Accept that and move on. Leave her alone. Stop obsessing.

Well I just want to know if she's ok. I don't need to know everything that is going on. But just that she's doing ok but whatever I guess I am a selfish jerk. And it's been 7 weeks since I've tried to contact her.... I don't know I'm still going to write her a letter though...

Well I just want to know if she's ok. I don't need to know everything that is going on. But just that she's doing ok but whatever I guess I am a selfish jerk. And it's been 7 weeks since I've tried to contact her.... I don't know I'm still going to write her a letter though...

And I wanted too know what was going on cuz she said she is going through a lot. It's someone I care for of course I wanted to know what was going on.....