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Thread: First Contact in Ten Years

  1. #1
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    First Contact in Ten Years

    A woman who ended things with me almost a decade ago and with whom I broke off any contact has emailed me for the first time in eight and a half years. The note is friendly and apologetic. Not sure I should respond at all.

    I tend to get back with old girlfriends at least once, sometimes twice. I know it never ends well. Obviously I suspect she has something romantic in mind, but whether she does or does not, I probably should either: a) just pretend I never saw the email; or b) write something nice but without any attempt at keeping a conversation going.

  2. #2
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    If the note is "friendly and apologetic", then she probably has done some soul-searching and realizes she handled things wrong.

    If you are not interested in striking up a relationship with her again, you can simply respond with kind thoughts, thanking her for her email. No more needs to be said. But to ignore it would not be kind.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    If you dont want to talk to her, then dont! 10 yrs is a long time to have no contact.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Carus's Avatar
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    I agree with LHGirl^^

    But 2 questions which came to mind for me were:

    A) Are you in a relationship currently?
    and
    B) Would you want to get back together with her?

    You could always just catchup over coffee with no expectations.....

    The other thought I had was "10 years! Holy sh*t!".....lol

    Carus*

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  6. #5
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    I think the same as Carus and LHGirl.

    Respond even if just to say not in a place where you would want to take things further than an exchange of messages, but you really appreciate the apology and her reaching out.

    It's a pretty big step after all that time. I'm curious as to what sparked it, but it's nice regardless.

  7. #6
    Gold Member smackie9's Avatar
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    I don't see anything "romance motivated" to an apology letter. Obviously something happened in her life that led her to make things right with those she had wronged and you just happen to be one of them. 8 1/2 years has past, she is no longer the same person that you knew, and she's moved on. It's just a simple reach out to apologize. How to respond? Just say "thanks, I appreciate it". That's it, nothing more.

  8. #7
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    She wants to talk on the phone, too. I'll just send her a "thanks, hope things are great on your end!"

  9. #8
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    Originally Posted by Carus

    A) Are you in a relationship currently?
    Great point. If you are in a relationship currently, then I'd just let your girlfriend know about the email and your thoughts about responding to it "Thanks, I really appreciate it, very best to you". This way, nothing would ever come up with your current GF.

    If you are not in a relationship currently, then I'd still respond, and then probably/possibly leave the past in the past.

  10. #9
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    I would close that chapter, thank her for the apology and politely state that you've moved on. Of course it's your call, but keep in mind that history has a tendency of repeating itself.

  11. #10
    It's just a closure thing.

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