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Thread: First Contact in Ten Years

  1. #11
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    It's literally impossible to know what her motivations are.

    I find it difficult to believe, after 8 and a half years, she emailed you to get closure. And now wants to escalate to phone?

    Possible but not likely imo.

    She could be lonely, in a dry spell, has some regrets; her email was a "feeler" email.

    I mean after all this time it would be crazy for her to just pour out her feels and announce she wants to try again.

    Hence the feeler email.

    You responded, which on some level tells her you still care. Now she wants to talk on phone.

    If you have no interest in pursuing this, you need to nip this in the bud asap.

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    It's literally impossible to know what her motivations are.

    I find it difficult to believe, after 8 and a half years, she emailed you to get closure. And now wants to escalate to phone?

    Possible but not likely imo.

    She could be lonely, in a dry spell, has some regrets; her email was a "feeler" email.

    I mean after all this time it would be crazy for her to just pour out her feels and announce she wants to try again.

    Hence the feeler email.

    You responded, which on some level tells her you still care. Now she wants to talk on phone.

    If you have no interest in pursuing this, you need to nip this in the bud asap.
    I gott say this is really insightful. Thank you.

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by forumalias
    She wants to talk on the phone, too. I'll just send her a "thanks, hope things are great on your end!"
    Well this was an important point, and my advice would have been different, knowing she wants to talk on the phone.

    My guess? She's in a dry spell and going through her "what-could-have-been's". She's the one who left you, so she could be thinking you'll just drop your life and take her back.

    Yeah, I'd just send the "thanks" email and be done.

  4. #14
    Im going through a similar predicament, however the roles are inverted. It is I who ended things.

    It all depends on what you want. Do you still like her? Do you want to try again?

    If so, shes reaching out to you in hopes that you can.

    Women will rarely get back in touch with ex partners to just chat? What she sent you is a low-risk feeler message.

    If you want to give it another go, I suggest you invite her to yours for dinner.

  5.  

  6. #15
    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    It's literally impossible to know what her motivations are.

    I find it difficult to believe, after 8 and a half years, she emailed you to get closure. And now wants to escalate to phone?

    Possible but not likely imo.

    She could be lonely, in a dry spell, has some regrets; her email was a "feeler" email.

    I mean after all this time it would be crazy for her to just pour out her feels and announce she wants to try again.

    Hence the feeler email.

    You responded, which on some level tells her you still care. Now she wants to talk on phone.

    If you have no interest in pursuing this, you need to nip this in the bud asap.
    This is spot on OP.

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    It's literally impossible to know what her motivations are.

    I find it difficult to believe, after 8 and a half years, she emailed you to get closure. And now wants to escalate to phone?

    Possible but not likely imo.

    She could be lonely, in a dry spell, has some regrets; her email was a "feeler" email.

    I mean after all this time it would be crazy for her to just pour out her feels and announce she wants to try again.

    Hence the feeler email.

    You responded, which on some level tells her you still care. Now she wants to talk on phone.

    If you have no interest in pursuing this, you need to nip this in the bud asap.
    Originally Posted by LHGirl
    Well this was an important point, and my advice would have been different, knowing she wants to talk on the phone.

    My guess? She's in a dry spell and going through her "what-could-have-been's". She's the one who left you, so she could be thinking you'll just drop your life and take her back.

    Yeah, I'd just send the "thanks" email and be done.
    I'm sorry. Yes, she included a phone talk request in her email. I have not responded yet.

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    It's literally impossible to know what her motivations are.

    I find it difficult to believe, after 8 and a half years, she emailed you to get closure. And now wants to escalate to phone?

    Possible but not likely imo.

    She could be lonely, in a dry spell, has some regrets; her email was a "feeler" email.

    I mean after all this time it would be crazy for her to just pour out her feels and announce she wants to try again.

    Hence the feeler email.

    You responded, which on some level tells her you still care. Now she wants to talk on phone.

    If you have no interest in pursuing this, you need to nip this in the bud asap.
    I was about to send a friendly and funny letter about letting sleeping dogs lie, but then I felt guilty. I have sent out the same type of feeler letter to a half dozen ex-lovers when I was ready to say sorry and try again.

  9. #18
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    By the way, I have NOT responded.

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    It's literally impossible to know what her motivations are.

    I find it difficult to believe, after 8 and a half years, she emailed you to get closure. And now wants to escalate to phone?

    Possible but not likely imo.

    She could be lonely, in a dry spell, has some regrets; her email was a "feeler" email.

    I mean after all this time it would be crazy for her to just pour out her feels and announce she wants to try again.

    Hence the feeler email.

    You responded, which on some level tells her you still care. Now she wants to talk on phone.

    If you have no interest in pursuing this, you need to nip this in the bud asap.
    Originally Posted by LHGirl
    Well this was an important point, and my advice would have been different, knowing she wants to talk on the phone.

    My guess? She's in a dry spell and going through her "what-could-have-been's". She's the one who left you, so she could be thinking you'll just drop your life and take her back.

    Yeah, I'd just send the "thanks" email and be done.
    Technically I ended it, but I might have been jumping the gun. I got the impression she was losing interest. I promised myself that I would never do anything so pathetic as try to convince a lover who has lost interest to keep me. Looking back, I realize I was probably moving too fast. I was a LOT less experienced with relationships back then.

  11. #20
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    Wow. This is forcing me to reconsider my part in all this..

    I was a real jerk...

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