Driving me crazy

So I have been seeing this girl for about 3 months. So far we are still dating but not exclusive.

So my problem is that she keeps taking selfies and sending to other guys. I don't want to come across as needy so have not mentioned anything to her but it is driving me nuts and I can't stop getting annoyed everytime she does this.

How would you guys handle this situation?

Thanks in advance

Lost

Out of curiosity, how do you know she is doing this?

I think it's time you two had a talk about where you're both at, in terms of what you envision in your collective future.

Sounds like she loves the attention, and even if you became exclusive i don't think this behavior will stop. I think all you really can do is talk to her about it, tell her it really bothers you. If she still doesn't stop then find a new girlfriend.

Talk to her! Tell her how you feel. She wont know if you dont say something.

Because I can see her doing it. I do not see who she sends it to but on one occasion during one of her selfie sessions, she accidentally lowered her phone to far and all I seen on her snapchat recent messages were all guys.

Because I can see her doing it. I do not see who she sends it to but on one occasion during one of her selfie sessions, she accidentally lowered her phone to far and all I seen on her snapchat recent messages were all guys.

@Miss ^ will try and have a chat with her tonight but if she starts doing it again, no chance I will have much to say to her.

Sounds like she loves the attention, and even if you became exclusive i don't think this behavior will stop. I think all you really can do is talk to her about it, tell her it really bothers you. If she still doesn't stop then find a new girlfriend.

Thing is she is not the type to seek out attention.

Talk to her! Tell her how you feel. She wont know if you dont say something.

I want to but being so early in the relationship, I don't want to come across so needy. And I'm not usually the type but I really like this girl and it's really hit me in the feels.

Thing is she is not the type to seek out attention.

Well, her current behaviour certainly contradicts your belief.

Well, her current behaviour certainly contradicts your belief.

Everything was great and she didn't do this up until 2 weeks ago. Is she bored and looking for someone else? I don't understand as she still shows interest in me and we have a lot in common and get along really well. So confused aha?

Have you talked to her about being exclusive? What did she say?

Clearly if you don’t like her sending selfies to other guys, you also wouldn’t like the idea of her dating or making out with or sleeping with other guys... sounds like it is time.

I wouldn’t start trying to put any parameters around her Snapchat activity until you at least agree to be exclusive. Maybe she likes things casual and doesn’t want to be exclusive with anyone... you need to ask so you know if you are headed in the same direction and want the same things.

You are dating but not exclusive. Therefore, she can take as many selfies as she wants and send them to as many guys as she wants. And your complaining about it WOULD come across as being needy.

The only thing you can do is to ask her if she wants to be exclusive with you, and if she says yes, then set down some boundaries for the relationship. If she doesn't want to be exclusive, you need to look elsewhere.

Instead of expecting or hoping for change, realize that she is showing you who she is, and you have no right to ask her to change. Instead of paying attention to you, she is taking time away to interact with other guys.

If you're regularly upset with someone, it means it's the wrong relationship for you, even if you, at times, enjoy each other's company.

Yes, you're not exclusive so she's a free agent, but if I was into a guy, kissing him and spending time with him for 3 months and wanting our time together to continue, I would have zero interest in interacting with other guys. Could be she's just not that into you, or is but needs a constant harem of guys paying attention to her. Sometimes the first 3 months is the honeymoon period and then you start to see the real person emerge. The fact that she started doing this recently might be that point where who she really is, is emerging.

There's a difference between being needy and having boundaries you're comfortable with. Find someone who shares your ethics and boundaries and you will find yourself more satisfied than upset.

After a few dates, I'm either generally going exclusive or I'm moving on. It's plenty of time to decide if I want to pursue something real.

Everything was great and she didn't do this up until 2 weeks ago. Is she bored and looking for someone else? I don't understand as she still shows interest in me and we have a lot in common and get along really well. So confused aha?

I'd be honest with her if you feel she has other redeeming qualities or has the potential to grow or learn. If she does not or if you feel that this won't go over well, let her go. You don't owe her an explanation for no returned calls or texts. Block her if you like.

If you are not exclusive after two months, you likely never will be. You two should be moving into the honeymoon phase of the relationship by now, if everything were going just right. But obviously things are not going just right. This is a poor relationship.

So I have been seeing this girl for about 3 months. So far we are still dating but not exclusive.

 

So my problem is that she keeps taking selfies and sending to other guys. I don't want to come across as needy so have not mentioned anything to her but it is driving me nuts and I can't stop getting annoyed everytime she does this.

 

How would you guys handle this situation?

 

Thanks in advance

 

Lost

i would realise she's not a good match for me, if she annoys me that much, and try elsewhere.

i would realise she's not a good match for me, if she annoys me that much, and try elsewhere.

This. And franky given this behavior, she's not a good match for any high quality man, not many men would tolerate that type of attention-seeking behaviour.

It does not matter if you're exclusive or not, she's an attention-seeker and always will be, it's her nature.

And I highly doubt she will change if you talk to her. She will probably deem you controlling, insecure, among other not very flattering qualities.

Not to mention it's very disrespectful to you, exclusive or not.

There are many women who would never do this, I never did, or would, even when single!! I never even had the desire to. I sometimes send selfies to my bf and that's it!

To me it suggests insecurity and needing constant validation, which does not bode well for a serious relationship, if that's what you're wanting.

I know you're super into her, she's probably hot and the sex is good.

Keep her as an option if you want, but I would not be considering her for anything other than casual.

To add, I missed this earlier, but she's sending various men selfies, right in front of you? While spending time with you?

If that isn't the most disrespectful thing ever! Good lord.

If a man I was dating, doesn't even matter how long or if we're exclusive, ever did that, I'd get up and leave!! Forever!

Wondering why you didn't, can't get much more rude and disrespectful than that!

Wow.

Ya after two months, she ain't that into you if she's mackin for other guys/ monkey branching. let me guess....you spending money on her?

Seems like she's keeping her options open. This is obviously someone who enjoys playing the field even though she's not doing anything necessarily "wrong" it's a good indicator that she likes the attention, has a need for it and that this might become a problem at some point in the future...

How would she feel if you did the same?

What Katrina and Sportster said.

Honestly, there's nothing to talk about here, since every possible read on the situation will get you to the same place: low quality investment. If you're having a talk about obsessive selfie-taking and sending them to dudes—well, c'mon. There are better talks to have, and people with whom this talk will never be needed.

She's doing this either because she can't walk a block without the winds of male attention at her back, because she's losing interest in this casual thing y'all have, because she's bored, or because she's into you and "testing" you by dangling other dudes in front of your face to keep you on edge, get you to react. Probably some combination of the above, as all are simply a shallow and insecure way of living.

I've dated people like this—and, heck, I flirted with being a version of this myself for five minutes, during a supremely insecure stretch in my 20s. It's basic, as the kids say, no matter how hot this woman is. Basic is boring. Bored people are boring.

I know you're into her right now, but be honest and ask yourself if this is really the sort of "issue" you want to get "closer" to someone by bringing up. It's who she is. Who you are is better.

You're not exclusive so she might be playing the field and she has every right to. Just as you have every right to be uncomfortable with it.

Instead of worrying about coming across as too needy, you need to be sitting down with her and defining the relationship. If she doesn't want to be exclusive then you have to decide if you can handle that. I think you want more and it would make more sense to walk away.

If she does want to be exclusive, then you need to set boundaries as a couple and define whether you are both on the same page. If she's the type to think there's nothing wrong with what she is doing while in a relationship, and you are, then again it might be time to walk away. Its not controlling to let her know what you aren't willing to endure.

This can and should be sorted out via clear and honest communication.

Deleted, sorry guys, changed mind.

These are the types of women that give women a bad name.

They are into themself, they are into their own ego, they enjoy men paying them attention even if they've got a boyfriend (one man is never enough).

People could use the excuse that they are insecure, I think they're just self centered and don't care about other people's feelings.

Truthfully, I wouldn't bother with someone like this, male or female.

I like loyalty and someone who doesn't need/want a fanfare all the time. It's draining and sad to say the least.