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Thread: Wife says we will never have sex again

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
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    Your wife has a problem with intimacy and refuses to address it in a way that is fair to both of you. Dismissing your needs like that sounds very selfish to me. Plus, it sounds like she was never honest to you about the extent of the problem. I find it very hard to believe that for 3 years everything was great and then she ended up not even wanting to kiss. For 3 years she was fine with kissing and now she deems it "too wet"? It sounds like she has always had issues with sex but she keeps sweeping it under the rug. She could be gay, asexual, traumatized by some past events or it could be some other issue. Regardless, her attitude sounds selfish and dismissive. Do not buy into the "all will be fine" nonsense. You need professional counseling. If she won't go then try individual counseling. Your needs matters as much as hers.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I think you've both lost your focus and emotional connection. You are feeling emasculated and embarrassed and she feels cornered. Stop already with all the blame games and pointing fingers. It's just not helpful in redeveloping that connection. You're going to have to really put your love to the test and both of you start behaving like it. If she's shut you down or isn't the wife you want, start taking steps to separate and move on with your life. At some point it's going to look quite odd on you for staying in this relationship if you're so unhappy.

  3. #13
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    She doesnt like to talk about it and I just want to talk about it so we can have a solution and things can become good again. We dont have time or money for counseling. Are there any other options?
    Last edited by Essian; 04-04-2019 at 05:37 PM. Reason: It was discussed

  4. #14
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    I love my wife and we are happy about everything else. I just want to have a normal sex life with her. I am even happy just rubbing and not going inside. She thinks if we dont have sex we wont fight but to me it seems like an oxymoron. I dont think one can be closer by rejecting someone. We wont get closer by moving further.

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  6. #15
    Everyone has learned to self satisfy at some point in their lives so I don't believe for a single second that she never has. I was thinking the medical condition theory for her sex aversion, UNTIL you said she hates kissing you. It sounds like she don't like you touching her at all. I am now totally convinced there is another man in her life.

  7. #16
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    What should I do guys?

  8. #17
    Originally Posted by Essian
    What should I do guys?
    Tell her she needs to make an effort for your marriage and seek medical advice for her pain or its over. You can't have a relationship with someone who hates you touching her. That's just weird.

  9. #18
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    She says that she will fake it for me with outside rubbing for ten minutes every week. This will satisfy my need and we can stop talking about this for good.
    Last edited by Essian; 04-04-2019 at 06:34 PM. Reason: Spelling

  10. #19
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    Is this good enough? Should I go for this?

  11. #20
    Platinum Member LC8328's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Essian
    She doesnt like to talk about it and I just want to talk about it so we can have a solution and things can become good again. We dont have time or money for counseling. Are there any other options?
    She doesn't want to talk about it, but tough. You don't want to go without sex either, yet you have been. When you're married, you don't get to say "I am not giving you what you want or need and you can't ask why." It's unfair.

    I am a person who gets easily irritated at "entitled" people. But in this case, you are absolutely entitled to understand how she got to this point. Whether she's traumatized or has a condition or just plain doesn't want sex, whatever it is, you deserve to have all the cards laid out on the table and to know everything you are dealing with, so you can work on it together. Obviously it is a sensitive subject to her, but in marriage, we have to meet our spouses halfway. She can't just say no and that's that.

    I appreciate your comments of how much you love her and want to stick by her, but you are operating blindly right now, which again is not fair to you.

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