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Thread: Need help!!

  1. #1
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    Need help!!

    I have been married for 4 months by now and we did not consummate our marriage. Its an arranged marriage. I feel he is a very good guy but he never approached me in a way that i am loved. I tried giving pecks on his cheek a couple of times but he doenst respond positively. Infact he blames me stating i behave like living with a stranger. Back home my family thinks all is good but I am not able to share my feelings with them. I am an emotional person and have been pampered in many ways by my family. But here my husband doesnt even feel if i cry or if am emotionally down. I am left alone to be back normal. He doesnt even try to pacify me. I feel like running away. I feel judged for every small thing. I want him to be normal like he is with any of his friends but it never happened till now. I cannot even think of divorce. Please suggest me some ways in which i can make this situation better.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member indea08's Avatar
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    Have you tried talking to him? Telling him what you need from him? Did you know each other at all before getting married? Are you strangers to one another?

  3. #3
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    We were engaged for 6 months but I was in India and he lived abroad. He flew down to India for 3 days. we got engaged and he flew back. 6 months we were in contact on phone but it was very formal kind of conversations. I did tell him i need to get some emotional connection which right now i see at 0. He says he needs time for it.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member indea08's Avatar
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    It sounds like you guys need to date each other for awhile to build a relationship, or at the very least a friendship. You guys are perfect strangers to each other. Do you go to dinner? Movies? Bike rides? Anything fun together at all?

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  6. #5
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    We do indea.. we go for movies but it's all quiet. We go for drives. It's full of silent journey. We go for sightseeing but he isn't with me. He is occupied in his own world. No sweet talks. No compliments nothing. That one two complements are also by me. He has nothing good to talk to me.

  7. #6
    Bronze Member Afireblue's Avatar
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    Why not start by trying to be friends.

    How about you talk about your lives before you were married? You are obviously interested in him and want to make this work

  8. #7
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    You should start off as if your just now meeting him for the first time and build a friendship. Then as time progresses things will happen more naturally.

    You both have a lifetime to be where you want to be now all the time.

    So I wouldn’t push him and just take things slow. He doesn’t really know you and probably approaches things at a more slower rate then normal.

  9. #8
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    I tried that. He doesn't like if someone talks about past. He tries to show up as a perfectionist. But that isn't working for me. He has his rulebook and he questions if it's not as per it. He is quite a difficult man to handle but I don't want to give up at any point. I don't want our lives to be miserable. I cry every day because of my situation but I want to make it better. I really want to see it better :(

  10. #9
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    Did he want this marriage?
    It almost seems like he resents you already ?

  11. #10
    Bronze Member Afireblue's Avatar
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    You say you cry every day, you've said you want this to work out, but do you even like the guy?

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