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Thread: Remembering the first and better moments in the relationship

  1. #1

    Remembering the first and better moments in the relationship

    Hello. I'm having trouble in my long term-relationship (9 years) and we're going to take couples therapy. Is it a good idea to support ourselves remembering the first and better moments of the relationship?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    It's good to remember and support first and better moments of the relationship while remembering why both of you fell in love in the first place. It's also important to address issues which need repair.

  3. #3
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    It can be helpful to remember the good times, yes, but it likely won't be enough to resolve the current problems.

    The bigger issue will be why you have chosen to seek outside help at this point. What would you say are the biggest challenges facing your relationship?

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    What does the therapist say? Yes and no. Of course you had some good times and that's important. But you wouldn't need couples therapy if your current situation didn't have problems you need to address rather than avoid.

    "Remember when I did this that and the other for you"... is another form of resentment.
    Originally Posted by Davemercury
    we're going to take couples therapy. Is it a good idea to support ourselves remembering the first and better moments of the relationship?

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  6. #5
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    I think remembering why you wanted to be with the person helps a lot as far as focusing on good qualities, good values, things in common. I mean, my husband snapped his fingers in a certain way last night and as I was thinking "Jets" from West Side Story he said "Jets". It's a theme for us - clicking -or snapping -I guess -and having tons of inside jokes and "stuff" - and I get frustrated when I feel he doesn't get me about big or small stuff - so moments like that remind me that in general yes we get each other - or at least leads me down a positive and fun path. It can help a lot if you build on those past moments and why you fell in love as a foundation and a perspective to address what currently is going on. Good luck!

  7. 07-12-2019, 01:23 AM


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