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Thread: depressed

  1. #1
    Silver Member sfindependent's Avatar
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    depressed

    I just wanted to vent. I feel stuck, yet again.

    For a loooong time, i was stuck with bad financial debt. But after a while i was able to knock my debt down and even raised my credit to be able to buy a car.

    But i got laid off shortly after that, after having an argument with another manager about taking someone else's home away from them (completely legit, but i felt it wasn't ethical for me to do so at the time and circumstance). At the same time, i was burning out from work. I decided to take a different job and move away from social work after more than a decade of being witness to people's tragedies numerous times over. The job, I thought, would be a great ticket to opening up new windows for me in hopes of a new career. i decided to take a pay cut with a chance of a monthly bonus.

    It's been over 6 months since i started and every month i financially take a step back further into debt. my credit has turned to poop once again and i'm always trying to catch up to overdrawn accounts. It's easy to say "don't spend as much" but with what i save, it goes to another late account. It's a vicious cycle.

    I have been trying to get a higher paying job and it's been a few months of not even getting interviews. I was able to get into supplemental tests for qualifying applicants but i came up short .8 points. I also failed my second licensure exams by 8points.

    I tried the gig economy. I do lyft and i feel it's not worth the time, the cons seem to outweigh the good. the mileage on my car, moreso, i feel that the actual need to drive for lyft is furthering my feelings of self worth and confidence. I'm breaking into hives and haven't had the desire to work out, to pursue social activities, to study for my licensure. Thankfully my girlfriend is supportive but she doesn't know the depth of how i'm slowly going through the brink of a financial decline.

    I need advice. I'm very task oriented and need direction. I know I've gotten out of it before and I can do it again. i just need that jump start again.

  2. #2
    Gold Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Have you approached your bank before for a consolidation loan? Or spoken with a financial advisor at your institution?

  3. #3
    Silver Member sfindependent's Avatar
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    yea, that would mean I can't have credit cards or loans for the next 7 years. Plus the consolidation would increase the debt i had. The bank said it wasn't worth the effort to do so.

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    Have you discussed with a personal financial advisor?

    Where do you normally work out? At a gym? If you arenít using it then cancel your membership and workout for free in a local park, fo for a run , whatever?

    Where do you live? Do you rent or own? How can you reduce that cost?

    There are ways to reduce your spending and I think you should discuss this with your gf .

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  6. #5
    Gold Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sfindependent
    yea, that would mean I can't have credit cards or loans for the next 7 years. Plus the consolidation would increase the debt i had. The bank said it wasn't worth the effort to do so.
    That's only if you claim bankruptcy, that you lose those privileges to. You don't have to go to a bank, there are special financial institutions that help you consolidate your dept, help you regain credit, and teach you valuable info on how to save your money.

    The key thing here is don't spend money you don't have. If you can't afford your car, get rid of it. If you can afford to rent, get a roommate. Learn to live with less. And hand over that credit card to your GF. I know why so many go into dept...they can't help themselves from spending 5 bucks for coffee, or constantly go out for lunch/order in, party, drink, smoke...all those things you can live without. The way to do it is....if you don't have money for it, you don't buy it. That dump in on the credit card and worry about it later mentality is what gets you into trouble.
    You live in NY? well I live in Vancouver Canada...one of the most expensive places in the world to live. Where I pay almost 8 bucks a gal for gas. I have learned to live without a lot of stuff just to stay out of dept.

  7. #6
    Gold Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    There are several options open, depending on your situation, even if your financial institution doesn't want to work with you on a consolidation loan. Bankruptcy is not the only public filing that affects credit score. Consumer proposals are slightly less severe but will also affect a person's score for the length of time of the designed proposal plus usually three years after the fact/after the proposal is paid off. Consumer proposals are proposals made to the debtor's creditors and are also filed by a trustee. The creditors have an opportunity to refuse the debtor's proposal but a good trustee will know how to strike a balance and appease the creditors, get paid(fee for processing) and release the debtor for a large chunk of his/her debt. For ie. if there is $50,000 debt, a consumer proposal may be designed where the debtor pays $20,000 over five years and the remaining $30,000 is a loss to the creditors. Creditors would rather take the $20,000 instead of $0 in the case of a bankruptcy so this usually goes to plan.

    If you are speaking about a consumer proposal, speak to your trustee. You can also talk to him/her about options for paying down that proposal faster and having your credit score improve faster over time (quicker than the normal ascribed timeline of 5+3 years).

    You should look into debt control strategies and start streamlining your expenses. Normally once people are given a strategy and a plan and hope, changes happen. You may also want to take a good look at your entertainment or what you're doing with your chosen company/friends. You don't have to live lavishly in order to have fun. You've lost hope, it seems. Start working at ways to dig yourself out and look forward to your life again.

    I agree about speaking with your girlfriend about this. She deserves to know where you are at and make a decision for herself if she wants to be with you. You have to be realistic with yourself and honest with yourself and others. Call a spade a spade and don't be afraid.

  8. #7
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    I signed up for a debt management program.

    Prior to signing up I was having to pay nearly $800 per month to my 3 creditors. After getting on the program I only paid about $250 per month. The creditors agreed to stop charging interest (or minimal interest) so the balances didn't increase every month. It took me about 4 years to pay it all off, but I sent my final payment last fall. I finally am able to use my entire income for expenses, bills and even have some left over for fun.

    I recommend you contact a debt management agency (NOT a debt consolidation company or credit repair company that is only trying to get fees from you!) such as Greenpath to see if you can get on a plan. It literally changed my life.

    PS: My credit score went up by about 80 points after I completed the program. There have been NO negative consequences to my credit.

  9. #8
    Gold Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    I recommend you contact a debt management agency (NOT a debt consolidation company or credit repair company that is only trying to get fees from you!) such as Greenpath to see if you can get on a plan. It literally changed my life.
    That is terrible(re the fees extortion). I'm happy for your story and thank you for sharing.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Apply with temp agencies, not by sending a resume, but by phoning for an appointment to apply in person. That's how to get on their active rosters. Make one appointment per morning, at least 3 per week, starting with a radius closest to you, then work outward. They don't all work with the same companies. Don't be discouraged when they say that they have nothing at the moment. No good agency has jobs lying around--they place people from their active rosters immediately into any openings that come in.

    The goal would be to get into companies near you to assess the cultural fit for you. The temp role itself doesn't matter, because you can form relationships and apply for more suitable jobs from within. These are the jobs that don't get published to the public. It's a try-before-you-buy situation that most companies use to assess applicants in terms of work ethic and soft skills. If they like you, they will train you for a better opening. If your fit there is not a match, go back to the agency and ask to be replaced and placed with another company.

  11. #10
    Member PerkyGreek's Avatar
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    If you were better off financially with your old job but there are trade offs such as the ethics of the company and your were getting burned out, maybe you can get back to the same line of work but with a different company and see if the situation is better. You have to consider that if you have no income you simply have a different set of problems than when you were working. Please do not be offended but maybe you or your skill set are not ready for a change or for a new field. Try to look for a higher paying job while you are employed.


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